Vibrator Races in Vegas Prove That People in Vegas Are Bored

There’s a new racket in Vegas, the city where there just aren’t enough bad decision to be made. Sex toy races, whereby four battery-powered dildos crawl across a tabletop at a speed so slow that participants can feel themselves traveling backwards in time to the moment they decided they’d have a lark and put money down on the vibrator race, are becoming popular, or at least popular enough that we have documented evidence of their existence.

The game, created by Fun Factory, can be “played” by up to eight giggling people who have the prudish stamina to be excited by sex toys moving under their own power like giant, mechanized slugs at a 1.5 mph clip. However, in the storied tradition of phallic races, the Milwaukee Brewers Sausage Races remain unchallenged.