Utah Man 'Sick' of Depraved American Women Finds Foreign Bride Online

One Utah man has bravely gone where no man has gone before: online, in search of a foreign bride who looks like a model but has the values of his grandmother. These matrimony-worthy prizes do not exist in the den of iniquity that is the United States, so he found her in Ukraine, and is now, happily, the King of overseas dating.

Nathan Adams, a 45-year-old aircraft mechanic, found Elena Adamchiyk, a native of Ukraine, on Anastasia.com, the largest international online-dating company in the world (the Moscow-based company projected earnings of $140 million this year). The website is running a sappy campaign portraying the wholesome couple as the ultimate love story to counter criticism that international dating is for creepy rich dudes who want subservient wives — or, alternately (slash simultaneously), for devious strumpets who want to come to the U.S. by any means possible.

Based on this Salt Lake Tribune profile, both Adams and Adamchiyk seem to have found what they were looking for: Adamchiyk was married twice before to men who cheated (apparently, men don’t cheat in America, and the streets are paved with cheese), and wanted a loyal spouse who would treat her with respect. She yearned to be a mother, and said she first fell in love with Adams when she saw his 6-year-old daughter, Vanessa.

Adams, on the other hand, was looking for a wife/mother who wasn’t interested in his money or harboring “a fair amount of bitterness and anger” towards men (apparently, there are no misandrists overseas). First, he was scammed by someone he believed was a model (shucks). Then, he heard that Ukranian women were both beautiful and respectable: jackpot!! Eventually, he found Adamchiyk.

I’d like to keep ribbing on Adams, who was clearly searching for a compliant, deferential wife, not an equal — why else use a site where women don’t have to pay? — and being so goddamn picky about it. (“He didn’t want women age 30 or younger because, in his experience, they’re interested in clubbing. He didn’t want a woman older than 36 because he believes most have already reared children and aren’t interested in mothering a young child.”)

But the couple appears happy, and Adams doesn’t seem like that bad of a dude. He felt online communication was more “genuine” than casual dating and is now fascinated by Ukraine’s culture and history; he’s even learning Russian. It’s not like his new wife is his maid. Even if the relationship isn’t as lovey-dovey as the dating site that brought them together would like us to believe, dating is often an exercise in exploitation locally, too.

If he turns out to be a controlling dick, let’s hope she’s just in it for the visa. Ah, romance!