Twinkies Are Back, and They're Coming for Bros

Twinkies are back. No one should be surprised. It's obvious that the Twinkie would reemerge from the maws of death like a creme-filled Lazarus because each Twinkie is built to outlive us all. After the apocalypse, the Cockroach King's palace will be built out of Twinkies. He will sleep on a bed made out of a Big Mac.

After Hostess fell into bankruptcy eight months ago, the confectionary delight (?) was discontinued. But then, like in Peter Pan, all the children of the world started clapping and chanting and — lo! — the phallic cake was brought back to life. To be more specific, the private equity firm Apollo Global Management and C. Dean Metropoulous and Company bought Hostess's cake division. Magic, people: it's real.

But now Metropoulous and his two sons, Daren and Evan, are facing a bit of a conundrum. How do they make sure the snack doesn't fail again? Kids these days are juicing their own kale before they've even developed object permanence. To whom do you market this processed calorie-stick? The answer, it seems, is simple. To bros.

According to TIME, the new marketing plan is heavily aimed at that college campus-prowling, snack-devouring demographic. The company has more than doubled its distribution to convenience stores, because that is apparently where young men go to purchase treats (traditionally, Twinkies were primarily sold in grocery stories and targeted at mothers). The ad campaign, too, is really bro-centric — NuTwinkie's slogan is "The Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever," which has the ring of "out-of-touch advertising exec trying to mimic the speech pattern of a 20-something male." Sweet! Rad! Totally gnarly, homies!

The rebranding also features a viral media campaign called prepareyourcakeface.com, which either does not work on my computer or it can sense that I am a woman who is no longer in college and thus refuses to load any videos.

Says branding expert Rob Frankel:

"A huge amount of mom marketing, especially in the food sectors, is geared toward health and nutrition. There’s not much you can say for health and nutrition in a Twinkie. So generally, the lowest hanging fruit for a company has been young males."

To be honest, though, I feel a bit miffed at being excluded from the "lowest hanging fruit" designation. It's like I one time got misty-eyed from longing while watching a Chili's commercial for nothing.

"The Rebirth of Twinkies: Now for Dudes — and Suddenly Everywhere" [TIME]
Image via AP.