Try to Keep Calm, Prince William and Kate Middleton Are in New York

A pair of weary airline passengers landed in NYC after a long flight on Sunday evening, exhausted and eager to get to their hotel.

William: Honey, what are you doing? Let them load the bags in the cab and let’s get the hell out of this airport.

Kate: I need to find one of my bags right now.

William: Why do you need one of the suitcases?

Kate: I need my mascara primer. I need it like, right now.

William: Can that just wait until we get to the hotel?

Kate: It will only take me a second.

William: Well which bag is it?

Kate: I think it was a blue one. It might have been green. I don’t remember where I packed it.

William: I brought one bag. Why the hell are there 11 bags in here? We’re staying for two friggin’ days!

Kate: It’s not all my stuff. I brought some presents for a few friends.

William: Who, the New Jersey National Guard?

Kate: I really cannot do this with you on this trip right now.

I hear Prince William and Kate Middleton have big plans to hit up Guy Fieri’s restaurant in Times Square. Better get there early, guys; they always have a huge line and they probably won’t fall for any of your “Duke and Duchess” of so-and-so hoity-toity bullshit.