Tom Hooper, the prolific director of humorless Oscar-bait including Les Miserables, will direct a movie version of the musical Cats. And I’ll just say if I have to sit through a dirtied-up Anne Hathaway scream-belting “Memory” I swear to God I will burn the theater down.

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For the handful of readers that have never heard of the show that ran on Broadway from 1987 to 2006, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical Cats is based on a collection of poetry by T.S. Eliot called “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats,” about a group of cats called the Jellicles. All the actors wear excessive cat makeup and there is a lot of jumping around and audience participation.

Last February, The Sun reported that Hooper was considering casting “young model-turned-actresses like Suki Waterhouse.” Uh, okay.

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The musical is a largely boring showcase of the actors’ and dancers’ talents—I’m going to go out on a limb and say that an Anwar Hadid is not going to elevate it. Though if Hooper wanted to be funky and cast, like, a Carol Kane as Grizabella, I could get behind that.