Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

I've been wanting to dive into the world of DIY pipes and bongs for a while now. But it's intimidating! There seems be an endless list of things that people can convert into smoking devices. Apples, soda bottles, Pringles cans, Grandma. I honestly didn't know where to start.

Another obstacle is the fact that I'm not the craftiest girl to begin with. I mean, who wants to learn how to make pipes from a girl who regularly embroiders her own clothes into her designs? I have problems, y'all. So I figured, why not make this a series within a series? So welcome to the first installment of:

There's A Pipe For That!

Every month/when I remember, I'll be creating some smoke devices based on different themes. You can even take these themes and apply them to themed smoke hangouts and parties! This is just another step in my master plan to create IRL queer smoke circles all across the world. So grab your toolkit/your kit and caboodle/a box of canoodles and let's make some shit!

Our first theme is: "Crimson Cloud: Smoking While Menstruating!"

Today we're gonna make two different kinds of pipes for that time of the month! Marijuana is a great way to alleviate any symptoms, from abdominal cramps to uncontrollable rage. Our first project is a genius combination of candy and weed:

The Starburst Pipe

So you've got a serious case of sweet tooth but you still wanna get high? Get ready to fall in love with the Starburst pipe! This device is fruity and hilarious, just like you.

1) All you'll need a pack of Starburst and a type of skewer.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

2) Unwrap the pieces and stack them together. Press down so they stick.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

3) Take a wooden or metal skewer (or a similar sized tool) and create a lengthwise hole 2/3 of the way through the candy stack.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

4) Make rounded hole on the side of the candy stack. This will be your bowl.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

5) That's it! Pack your bowl and you're ready to go. You can also add a hole on the other side if you want a carb. And the best part: you can eat it when you are done! Although I would advise using a mesh screen or rinsing out the residue before eating, but you do you.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

The TampPipe

Sometimes, all you have in your pocket is a dime bag and a tampon. This pipe is for you. This will also be part of a larger series wherein I turn feminine hygiene products into smoking devices. Stay tuned for my Summer's Eve Douche Gravity Bong, where I use a coconut Luna bar as a filter.

1) All you need for this pipe is an old school cardboard tampon, a tiny piece of tinfoil, and a needle. Simple enough, right? Well, I went to two different drug stores and could not find a tampon with a cardboard applicator! Everyone's all about the Pearl now, I guess, which is great for vaginas but so much for this girl.

Luckily, I found a plastic applicator that looks like the cardboard one.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

2) Press the plunger and remove the cotton tampon. If I were really crafty, I'd say glue some googly eyes on the tampon and make a ghost, but it's November and ain't nobody got time for that.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

3) Remove the base of the applicator and you should be left with what looks like a cardboard flower.

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

4) Wrap the flower in tinfoil and poke a small hole in the foil. You just made your bowl!

Today Is the Day We Learn to Make Tampon Pipes

5) Look that one-hitter up and smoke away! Enjoy the only time on Earth when it's acceptable to say the following phrase:

"Hey girl, wanna share a tampon?"

You know what? Maybe don't use that phrase. Ever.

So what about you, homoganjas? Got any favorite homemade pipes? Any themes you'd like to see celebrated in smoke art form? Share below!



This post originally appeared on Autostraddle. Republished with permission.

Lead image via Shutterstock.