Time to Lean Out and Apply For This 'Freelance Marijuana Critic' Job

“Attention Oregon’s cannabis community,” begins a job listing written by God. “The Oregonian is seeking a freelance critic to review marijuana strains, infused products and highlight consumer trends unique to Oregon’s robust cannabis culture and marketplace.”

The candidate should be an experienced cannabis consumer with deep knowledge about the variety of strains and products available on the Oregon market. The items would appear 2-4 times a month on OregonLive and/or The Oregonian.

In Oregon, recreational dispensaries are legal but barely in their infancy, so the person with the best job in the world would also have to be “medically qualified.” I’ve started my application four times already, but I keep getting distracted. Because—and this may sound unorthodox, but the best critics shift the paradigm—they should really consider hiring from out of state.