Things That Will Never Happen to You, From the NY Times 'Vows' ColumnTracy Moore 11/06/13 1:30pmFiled to: i thee dreadNew York TimesWeddingsVowsBarfTrulloNot your lifemarriage46120EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkThings were going well for you, weren't they? You were happy. You were just living your modest little pleasurable life, excited that you splurged on the good deli turkey this week and that the coffee from the place around the corner was not too bitter today. Sure, your partner was too busy at work to reply to your Tudors joke with anything like passionate mindfulness, but it can't be a whirlwind of deep attraction and perfect harmony all the time. Uh, then you read the latest "Vows" in the New York Times and your face fell. Why? Why did you do that? As you scanned the nearly untoppable fairytale story some 1,600 stinging cuts deep, you lifted a trembling hand to cover your crestfallen mouth because you knew in the deepest part of your core being that none of this could ever, would ever, happen to you. Pack it up. Your life is bullshit.