These Puritan Names from 1888 Are the Best-Worst Names in the World
LatestSorry-for-sin, Fly-fornication, and Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes are all truly terrifying names found in Curiosities of Puritan nomenclature (1888), a collection of Puritan names chosen “to remind the child about sin and pain.” And also, “to make everyone else giggle.”
Oh man, these are so amazing:
20 Puritan Names That Are Utterly Strange
- Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar. Son of Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar, born 1676.
- Praise-God. Full name, Praise-God Barebone. The Barebones were a rich source of crazy names. This one was a leather-worker, member of a particularly odd Puritan group and an MP. He gave his name to the Barebones Parliament, which ruled Britain in 1653.
- If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned. Praise-God’s son, he made a name for himself as an economist. But, for some inexplicable reason, he decided to go by the name Nicolas Barbon.
- Fear-God. Also a Barebone.
- Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes
- Has-descendents
- Wrestling
- Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith
- Fly-fornication
- Jesus-Christ-came-into-the-world- to-save. Brother of “Damned Barebone”. I can only imagine this name shortened to “Save.”
- Thanks
- What-God-will
- Joy-in-sorrow. A name attached to many stories of difficult births.
- Remember
- Fear-not. His/her surname was “Helly”, born 1589.
- Experience
- Anger
- Abuse-not
- Die-Well. A brother of Farewell Sykes, who died in 1865. We can assume they had rather pessimistic parents.
- Continent. Continent Walker was born in 1594 in Sussex.
I’ve dreamt up a few to add to the list:
1. Secretion James
2. Devil-dog Brewster
3. Has-issues
4. Samuel Pillager
5. Do-not-tramp-upon-your-fathers-fathers
6. Live-each-day-like-it’s-your-rocking-last
And yours?
[Slate]
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