These Miley Cyrus FCC Complaints Are AmazingS

Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMA's the other week (like, years ago in Internet Time, but whatever) was ridiculous, over-the-top, and embarrassing. But even sillier than Hannah Montana pretending to rim a backup dancer while styled like a disturbed child's mutilated Barbie was Middle America's response to Miley's histrionics. And now — thank the Lord who made the Hemsworth brothers and the FCC's policy of making complaints publicly available— we can read them in all their glory.

Now, without further ado, the best pearl-clutching responses to The Twerk Heard Round the World. All of these — obviously — are [sic]. Emphasis added.

You should have taken it off as soon as she starting promoting her filthy actions. She has shown what she is acting like a devil flicking that tongue as deamons do. Being a Christian Im taking a stand as these people push vulgarity and teaching women to act like trash is not going to stand for a woman being a lady would never conduct herself like that.

-Lancaster, KY

I watched the VMA with my family and was surprised and disgusted to see Lady Gaga's outfits and how Miley Cyrus was dressed yet alone her performance gyrating and sexual gestures with that stupid foam finger with Robin Thicke who is old enough to be her father. I thought I was watching child porn!

My daughter was even surprised of Slutty Cyrus, Shame on MTV for allowing that kind of TRASH to be aired along with that tasteless condom commercial after every break.

- Albany, NY

Miley Cyrus (an actress/recording artist) twerked (danced a provocative booty dance) up against Robin Thicke's (a recording artist/actor) genitalia. Also, she groped a woman's posterior-without hesitation. In addition, she made very sexually suggestive gestures, using a giant foam-like "fanatic's finger" as if it was a phallus.

- Houston

the show that miley cyrus put on was a disgrace! i was watching this show with my granddaughter and was very embarrassed. i think this was much, much worse than that disaster at the super bowl with one of the jackson girls.

- dresher (?)

The Miley Cyrus performance on the MTV 2013 Video Music Awards rubbing her genital area with a "foam" finger like those used at stadiums along with her grinding dance performance with singer Robin Thicke was vulgar and distasteful. Dressed in a "skimpy" latex bikini, she bent over to rub her buttocks against Robin Thicke's groin which caused him to have a slight erection which can be easily noticed through his pants.

-Naugatuk, CT

The Miley Cyrus performance was very pornographic and should not have been on TV. She made multiple very indecent sexual poses and gestures, from grabbing her crotch, using a foam finger like a dildo, and licking the butt of a stuff bear in a sexual manner. Plus the fact that she barely had any clothes on.

- West St. Paul, MN

Miley Cyrus touched her genitals and touched the genitals of an older man while performing music. She exposed her tongue numerous times while grinding her exposed buttocks on the front of the pants of the male performer in a simulated sex scene while performing. She also simulated oral sex with a foam finger. The performance crossed the lines of common decency and penalties should be enforced.

-Reseda, CA

Miley Cyrus needs to be detoxed from her behavior, her clothing, her dance moves, and taught how to keep her tongue in her mouth. I suggest 12 months in a convent! However, it's time the FCC stepped in and put this program on notice that they've gone waaaay too far, and to shut them down, and fine Ms Miley Cyrus for her lewd and lascivious shenanigans!

- Tuscon, AZ

Some people were so incensed that they couldn't even be bothered to spell the performer's name correctly.

VMA Awards and Milye Cyrus: Need I say more? She was crude, pornographic, and absolutely shameful. Had I wanted my family to see a hooker perform a live sex show, I would have taken her to Tijuana. It was, at best, a third rate exhibition of what a pedophile would like to see during a child pornography live show. When she started throwing her hand and arm in a manner to simulate a male jacking off, that was bad enough. Then she continued to fondle herself with a foam finger, and then she backed up against her male co-singer?s genitals in a doggy-style position and humped him like a bitch in heat. This went on for several minutes. [...]

If the FCC doesn?t fine the network, then the FCC doesn?t have any business using my tax money for anything at all. Trust me when I say, I will moniter what the FCC does about this, and then call my Senator and Congressman about this new ?hands-off? attitude the new FCC has. Do your fucking job (I would normally not use the word ?fucking?, but you don?t really seem to care about such things anymore.

[...] I sat down to watch some PG rated TV with my family and we got a crude, pornography, sex show shoved in our face. Sure I could turn it off ? I DID! But I would have like to have known BEFORE I sat down with the family to watch this vulgar and offensive show. Once my family saw this disgusting behavior, it was too late. I thought the FCC was there to protect us against such atrocities. Guess not. I?m more ashamed of the FCC than anything else. Shame on you! Do something!! Fine the network. Fine Milye Cyrus. Make a damn speech or something. Just do SOMETHING.

- Lexington Park, MD

Miley Syres did a performance with teddy bears, sticking he butt in a man face, making obscene, suggestive movements, resembling a porn show. It was very offensive, and upsetting at a time when children would be watching the show. MTV was also airing condum commercials. This was rated X, this was prime time, and suppose to be safe for children 14, and up. It was disgraceful and upsetting. It had children running to their parents, and parents jaws dropping. The want to see the FCC take action against them.

-Goffstown, NH

MTV should be severely fined for allowing profanity on the network. The VMA Awards promoters should be fined at an even greater rate than MTV for allowing such programming on the air, and Miss Milly Cyrus should be fined and jailed for performing such sexually provocative material on TV and being a family show being aired during the early evening hours. Of course I'm looking for an answer. I already know nothing will happen to any of these people, especially since our nation has become a truly Liberal Socialist nation now. But thanks anyway.

-Fort Moghave, AZ

The only problem with running crying to the FCC when in the throes of Twerk Dismay is that the FCC doesn't have the authority to actually do anything to cable networks who broadcast material that makes bowties spin around. All this shouting for naught.

[TSG]