The Teen TV Guide to Getting Emancipated From Your Parents

“WELL MAYBE I’LL JUST EMANCIPATE MYSELF,” I was known to yell at my parents at a startingly young age. They’d respond with raucous laughter that would last for days, as I would skulk back to my room to sit in sadness with my paper dolls and pout because I didn’t want to learn my multiplication tables/eat broccoli/suffer through some other stunningly difficult hardship.

I know now that even if I had actually had a reason to be emancipated, it was a total pipe dream. The Daily Beast has illuminated that even though Will Smith’s spawn, one Jaden Smith, is not getting emancipated as was rumored, he’s probably one of the few who could, because it’s a thing for rich kids.

But remember the kids on youth-oriented television that made you think that you could be one of them? Just live on your own, free of adults, because you were an adult? Here are the assholes who made you dream for the lush life:

1. Nathan on One Tree Hill

Nathan had probably the worst parents on One Tree Hill, which is saying a lot, considering that crop of adults. He legally emancipated himself from his insane father and mother who were divorcing and then got married in high school. It generally went okay even though he had trouble adjusting to having his own apartment and paying bills and stuff. In the end it really matured him.

There’s also Brooke, who didn’t emancipate herself but had terrible parents who lost all their money and moved so then she moves in with Lucas and his mom for a little while? But then I don’t remember what happens, do her parents move back to Tree Hill because, as we know, there’s only one Tree Hill? In any case, she’s on her own and nothing bad happens.

OH and also there’s Peyton, whose dad is essentially M.I.A. and her mom is dead and she’s lonely and alone all the time which means she gets to bring boys back to her house for The Sex.

Sorry-not-sorry I watched this show for four seasons.

2. Sasha on Bunheads

Super spoiler if you have not just spent two days plowing through every episode of Bunheads and then crying alone when you found out it hasn’t been renewed for a second season yet, but the most unrealistic thing that has happened so far is how Sasha’s parents just left her in Paradise. She’s living on her own in this beautiful apartment that they are probably paying for? I don’t really want things to get dramatic about this situation but the girl is like 16 years old. And despite a few hiccups and the fact that her friends have to lie to their parents to come over to her place, it’s going pretty well and even Michelle (who is in her 30’s) is jealous of how adult Sasha is.

3. That episode of Law and Order: SVU with the kid that tried to get emancipated and her Mom flipped out so the kid killed her

I don’t know about this because SVU scares me so much that I can’t even watch it at the gym but I bet until the Mom died this seemed like a great idea.

4. Shawn on Boy Meets World

Shawn’s story is actually really sad because his parents kind of abandon him, but it all works out when he moves in with his teacher, Mr. Turner. What a pair of hunks living together! This totally made it seem like if your parents were terrible you could just end up living with the hottest teacher in your school and that would definitely be more fun than your life before.

5. Rickie on My So-Called Life

Oh Rickie, your struggles made Angela’s hyper-observant nature and Rayanne’s self-destructive streak look totally pathetic. After getting kicked out of his Uncle’s, doesn’t he sleep in a car for a little bit? And then of course, the Chases take him in and also he ends up at his teacher’s house, because that’s what teachers have time to do, care for children in their spare time when they’re not caring for children.

6. Jenny on Gossip Girl

God she whined a lot. She also threatened to emancipate herself but then didn’t. What a loser.

7. Everyone on 7th Heaven

Wasn’t Martin, Ruthie’s boyfriend emancipated? Ruthie’s other boyfriend T-Bone (hah that name) had a lack of parental supervision as well. That show was just full of people being emancipated but then coming to stay with the Camden’s because it’s not like they didn’t have enough people living in their house.

After going through these examples I’ve come to the conclusion that none of these kids were really that happy and I should go call my mom.