The Stupidest Things Said By Man Who Tried to Dump His Dog

A Denver man caught on camera trying to ditch his dog at a local shelter was cited for animal cruelty on Wednesday.

Sometimes people adopt dogs, cats or even gerbils, and it doesn’t work out. There are lots of ways of dealing with that. There are rescue groups, shelters and people on Internet sites like Craigslist who will help take in your pet if you can’t care for them or even if you just plain don’t want to. There are lots of things you can do in those situations.

But you should absolutely, positively never ever do what Daniel Sohn did with his dog, Bronson. According to 7News , Sohn brought his dog to a local shelter to give him up for adoption. That’s when things got really shitty. When Sohn was asked to fill out paperwork in order to leave the dog, he reportedly bolted from the lobby of the shelter. That’s when his poor dog, probably terrified or thinking it was just a game, chased after his owner.

Sohn was photographed speeding away from the shelter with his dog chasing after the car. Witnesses reported seeing Sohn hit the dog with his car. This is absolutely just heartbreaking. Via ABC 7:

Witnesses said Sohn jumped in his car and took off, at one point hitting the dog before picking him up again and eventually taking him back to the shelter a second time before, again, leaving without filling out the paperwork.

After a picture taken by a witness surfaced, a local reporter caught up to Sohn and asked him to explain his actions. (How hard to you think it was for her not to scream “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING???”)

Here, in no particular order are the stupidest things he said to explain what he did:

“I actually dropped him off and he followed me because we have a bit of a bond.”
“I actually gave my dog a choice if he wanted to be with me or possibly find an owner he might feel better with.”
“He’s a stray and some dogs just stray and he’s probably onto the next owner.”
“He jumped in front of my car but I felt he was triggered to do so as if, like, he was a mechanism of the surrounding people.”

There you go. See? All perfectly explained there. Seriously, those comments sound like what you would hear if you played a Fellini film backwards. Sohn has been cited for animal cruelty and neglect and is scheduled to appear in court on July 2, according to Denver Animal Control. Sohn told ABC 7 the dog jumped out of his car at a gas station and hasn’t been seen since. All because he didn’t want to fill out some forms. Again, it’s just totally heartbreaking.

Moral of this story: Don’t dump your poor dog off at a shelter and try to run off without actually going through the process of properly surrendering them.