One of the biggest problems with Sex and the City 2 was that it sucked. It contained a single good Lawrence of my labia joke, went on for more than two hours (146 minutes, to be more precise), and invented unnecessary drama so its characters could rehash old plot points that were handled during the series. Nobody was really clamoring for another sequel after SATC2, but the Twitter account @SATC3quel might at least convince some people that a more self-aware, self-effacing Sex and the City movie (with robots) could be fun.
Salon writer Daniel D’Addario has offered us a glimpse into what a third SATC might look like with some really spot-on Carrie voice over writing. From these tweets, writing a screenplay will just be a matter of finding a bizarre situation to put all the main characters in. Let’s say...road trip to Vegas that detours to Albuquerque, where Charlotte accidentally kills a man and the gang has to dump his body in the desert. Vision, coyote dance — roll credits.
[CARRIE V.O.]: As the President opened talks with Iran, *I* ran into my own rogue state. [Carrie opens apartment door] BIG: Hello, stranger.— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) September 27, 2013
MIRANDA: Stanford's Barilla boycott is really taking off! CARRIE: A "penne" for *my* thoughts—I'm farfalle-ing in love again! MIRANDA: No— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) September 27, 2013
[CARRIE V.O.]: Big and I had been like an e-cigarette — only vapor and plastic. [puffs pensively] And, just maybe, I wanted a real flame.— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) September 27, 2013
[CARRIE V.O.]: And, if a girl is very lucky, there are three commenters she can *always* rely on for praise. [closes computer; sees friends]— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) September 26, 2013
CARRIE: I can't believe Samantha was a robot this whole time. SAMANTHA: Oh, honey! More like a blow-bot! — Oh h — h — [bursts into flame]— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) September 24, 2013
Robot Samantha is watching you, citizen. Express your Sex and the City devotion and move calmly along.
h/t: The Daily Beast
Image via AP, Shizo Kambayashi