According to the starstruck executives at OWN, Oprah has landed the interview of the millennium, or, at the very least, an interview with a millennial: Lindsay Lohan will offer her first post-rehab musings to Oprah's patient visage. Not only that, but the new-and-improved, post-rehab Lindz will also star in a short reality series on OWN, because there's nothing that helps a floundering showbiz career quite like stint in reality television. (If you could find Denise Richards, she'd definitely attest to that.)

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Lohan's 90-day rehab heel-cooling is scheduled to be over on July 31. Her sit-down with Oprah will tape and air in August, followed closely by an eight-part documentary series, presumably about Lohan handles life on the Outside. A Very Lindsay August will conclude with the August 28th premiere of The Canyons. Look for it at a West Coast Video near you! [Access Hollywood, Page Six]

  • A spy-owl has reported to People magazine that Paris Jackson checked out of the hospital on Tuesday and is headed to an undisclosed residential treatment center. [People]
  • Somebody snapped some candid photos of Zac Efron wearing a Return of the Jedi baby-t and fleeing across a parking lot with a purple smoothie clutched in his hand. [Socialite Life]
  • Shameless robot-sympathizer Shia LaBeouf pulled up next to some dude on a motorcycle at a red light and offered him a bro-nod, as in, "I see you filmin' me, bro, and I'm totally into it." [YouTube]
  • Jane Lynch has filed for divorce from her erstwhile domestic partner, psychologist Lara Embry. [People]
  • Sebastian Silva, the director of the new Michael Cera mescaline road-trip movie Crystal Fairy, said (and I'm paraphrasing) that kids simply must have some drugs, but only of the spiritual, hallucinogenic variety (i.e. NO METH). In other words:
  • The superannuated stars of Pawn Shop visited Disney World on Rascal scooters and TMZ's photo of the momentous occasion is kind of depressing. [TMZ]
  • Honey Boo Boo and family visited our nation's capital, and TMZ's parenthetical joke "White (Trash) House" is kind of depressing. [TMZ]
  • The Lone Ranger fiasco notwithstanding, Johnny Depp is going to be in all the Disney movies from now until the end of time. [Cinema Blend]
  • Ryan Gosling wrote an article about how humans shouldn't be such dicks to farm animals, particularly to pigs. [Globe and Mail].
  • It takes Katy Perry thousands of gnat lifespans to complete her beauty regimen. [People]
  • This is possibly the best thing to come out of Sharknado:

Image via AP, Chris Pizzello