On Monday, Refinery29 published a story called “Nick Cannon Tells Us Why ‘Real Is Rare.’” It was pegged to “a short film” created by The Diamond Producers Association (an organization that “represents seven of the world’s largest diamond-mining companies”) and hosted by Nick Cannon.

Cannon, one of the hardest-working renaissance men of his generation, begins the film by saying, “Honestly, I think that’s what we all search for as humans. To find someone that you can have a unique and rare experience with.” Then he interviews couples about how they met, and we discover that diamonds make great gifts because real love “is rare,” and that “real is a diamond.” If that sounds like an odd plot for a “short film,” it’s because it’s actually just a crummy commercial.

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Neither Refinery29 or the DPA says this outright, but if you do a little digging it’s easy to discover the two are in the middle of a partnership meant to promote this particular campaign (the DPA’s first in five years). So this is just a commercial for diamonds masquerading as editorial content. I get the idea! But I still have questions.

  1. Why is the host for this video about how diamonds represent real, long-lasting, forever-and-always love being hosted by someone whose marriage couldn’t be saved by an enormous diamond?
  2. Why aren’t the happy couples given more time to speak about their relationships?
  3. Nick says filming the video was a “learning experience,” but what did he learn besides, “Wow, people buy diamonds that small?”
  4. Do you think that gay couple finally taught Nick Cannon how to explain gay people to his kids?
  5. Why do people refuse to understand that the so-called “rarity” of diamonds is concept manufactured by the same companies that stockpile them to raise prices/create the illusion of scarcity?
  6. Who told the Diamond Producers Association that millennials seek purchasing advice from Nick Cannon?
  7. Who designed the set?
  8. Are Nick’s remarks about being surprised and moved by the “authentic” nature of these relationships accidental Mariah shade?
  9. Do these two know they’re in love?
Image via screengrab.