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vintage ads

Oldies But Goodies Click to enlarge this 1965 cosmetics ad which begins, "If Eve had worn Aziza, she wouldn't have needed an apple." Because seriously, if you're pretty there's no need to be smart. Duh. [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies In the era of the Vietnam War, boys didn't need too much motivation to not want to go to war; not getting killed seemed like a good enough reason! However, The Draft Resistance decided to give young men even more reason to not want to fulfill their draft duties by dangling a bunch of super hot, leggy hippie chicks in fashionable hats in front of them and saying, basically, "these girls will have sex with you if you avoid the draft." Sex sells, of course, but is using hot girls to sell the idea of avoiding war hippie sexism or just a cheeky way to promote a good cause? (Click the picture to see the full poster) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies Do yourself a favor and click to enlarge this vintage Lane Bryant ad. Where else do you think "charming Chubby-sized clothes" come from? Teens over a size 10, yes TEN, can find 10 ½, 12 ½, 14½ and 16½. Chubbier than that? You're out of luck. [And I Am Not Lyin]

Oldies But Goodies As seen in these vintage ads, Levis have been around for a while, but when marketed for women they were "for leisure." You know, standing around, deciding where to picnic, that type of thing. When marketed to men, they were "for action." Lassoing fillies, bronco-busting and the like. And later still, they came in stripes for men, which one particular woman found extremely interesting. (Click picture for full-sized view.) [Vintage Ads, Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies "Farewell to the ugly cigarette," reads the copy on this late '70s ad. "Smoke pretty." Because lung cancer and emphysema are gorgeous. The ad also says these are "the newest way to express your love of pretty things." Chicks like flowers! Why else would the box feature Eve drowning in blooms? Wait, are those poppies??? (Click to see larger.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies Three words: Lisa. Frank. Clothes. Alas, these items are from a decades-old ad and not currently available. (Click picture to see the ad.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies Speaking of skin bleaching: this vintage product packaging confidently states, "The lighter you look, the lovelier you look." We haven't come very far. (Click to see the full box.) [Vintage Ads]

clips

VD Is For Everybody

You know, we're always so caught up on the negative aspect of STDs that we forget the one sort of beautiful thing — they're so inclusive! Venereal diseases, as the 1969 PSA shown here points out, are for everyone (including, apparently, gurgling little babies). While the ad certainly meant well by attempting to take away some of the stigma of STDs by illustrating that any type of person can contract them, it still is pretty confusing, because nothing is really explained, making it appear as though VD is something that everyone should strive for, rather than avoid.


VD Is For Everybody [YouTube]


Oldies But (Not So) Goodies "The things women have to put up with," begins this 1950 ad from Heinz. "Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man's boredom at meals. And yet, lady, there must be a reason. If your cooking and not your conversation is monotonous, that's easily fixed..." Sigh. (Click image to see full ad) [Torontoist]

Oldies But Goodies "After five, it's Climax and Nyesta...a hint of yes," reads this 1976 ad for slinky dresses. Heh, climax. Check out the way those ladies are eyeing that waiter. Someone's ordering the "catch of the day." (Click to see larger.) [Via '70s Fashion By Taschen]

Oldies But Goodies "Queen rose — you, on your wedding day," reads the copy from a 1955 issue of Brides magazine. Would you look at the width of that skirt. Talk about a carbon footprint. Also available: "The new filmy look for Spring, magnificently interpreted in lace and nylon tulle... And making much of the exciting new longer torso." Exciting! Click the picture for a double dose of retro. [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies Did you know that when you're menstruating you're no longer dainty? That's the gist of this vintage Kotex ad. "8 in 10 women of the better classes have adopted it," the copy sniffs. Wow. (Click picture to enlarge.) [Feministing]

Oldies But Goodies In 1976, in the vein of True Religion or For All Mankind, there was a brand called Jesus Jeans. And the image at left was an actual ad. Lord! Literally! So many questions! Such as: What's with the well-lit bodyhair? The open zipper? The outie? And uh, begging forgiveness, Heavenly Father, cuz maybe this is a sin so close to Easter: But is this a man or a woman? And is this ad being marketed toward men or women? (Click image to enlarge.) [Via 70s Fashion by Taschen]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies WARNING: This Tampax ad is not real. It's from a 1972 issue of a French satire magazine called Hara Kiri. The copy translates to "I am like a fish in water," and yes, that is a dead fish dangling from a woman's vagina. Think that's offensive? Wait till you see the Perrier ad (click the picture to view.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies Lord only knows what kind of "liquid" is inside the Defender, as seen in this ad from 1965, but whatever it is, it REPELS MAN OR BEAST. Maybe it's Hugh Hefner's new fragrance? [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies The logic behind this vintage ad is kind of wonky: Lady catches her hubs talking to "a strange woman" who turns out to be a corset salesperson. Affair paranoia diverted! "You see, Spirella lifts instead of squeezes," Mrs. Adams, the Corsetiere explains. And there are X-rays to prove it! Concludes the text: "If you feel and look tired and dragged down all the time, maybe you need a Spirella, too!" Laugh all you want, but today we have Spanx. (Click the picture to see full-sized.) [Vintage Ads]

About Face Moms! Do you look at your infant daughter and feel a nagging jealousy over her complexion? You should! At least according to this vintage Ivory Soap ad, asking consumers if they can "compete" with their little girls. And check out the smug expression on that kid. (Click the picture to see the full ad.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies "Gettin it together means sharing things with your man like his laughter, his worries, his own special way of 'doin' a thing,' as brother Isaac Hayes puts it. In the world of fashion, the black man has traditionally had his own way of 'doin' a thing,' and even when the rest of the male world went conservative, the black man retained a distinguishing flair and excitement in his dress." Please people, click on the tag to see the full-size, 70's-era ad that this copy accompanied. [Vintage Ads]