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Posts Tagged “

Vatican

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Vati-conned!

How In The Name Of Jesus Did Raffaello Follieri Get People To Believe Him?


It occurred to me at a party last night that you could be heading into some serious social occasions this weekend without a full grasp of how fucking awesome Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend is, and I can't let that happen because it is the feelgood story of the summer because it's literally impossible not to come away with it imbued in the sense of your own of intellectual superiority. I'll explain! Raffaello Follieri is an Italian ex-convict's son who came to the United States a few years back and met, through a lawyer friend, a sleazy billionaire supermarket magnate named Ron Burkle. The year was 2005. The Orange County Archdiocese had just agreed to pay a record $100 million pedophile settlement and all across the country Catholic churches were trying to sell off their rectories and lyceums and school properties and whatnot. So Raffaello comes in and tells Burkle he has first dibs on all of it. Why? Because he's the CFO of the Vatican. At 26 years old. Does the Vatican even have a CFO? Who knows, right, maybe that sort of thing would be public information if it weren't the Vatican we were talking about. More »

2:00 PM on Fri Jun 27 2008
By Moe
9,657 views, 57 comments

Latest by ToxicGummi: What I want to know is what was his exit strategy? From what I can tell he was getting large amounts of money under the pretense of an "investment" and providing some sort of return on this money. Meanwhile more »

love letters

Dear Anne Hathaway: If You Don't Read Your Ex-Boyfriend's Indictment You Are Going To Hell

Your "friends" are probably telling you not to read the indictment. (You know what indictment! The one charging your Ponzi sheming ex, Raffaello Follieri. Look, only 18 pages. It's not a script) And let me tell you something, Anne, and this is beside the point, but those same fucking friends avoiding the topic, telling you reading all the press will only be "painful" are also secretly ordering your light Frappuccinos REGULAR, and marking the side of the plastic cup with their own sharpies so that you THINK they're light even though they taste "deceptively" high fructose. Okay, maybe they're not, but the point is, I bet you are perceptive enough to distinguish a real Frappuccino from a Splenda-sweetened one but the man you loved held himself out to be the CFO of the Fucking Vatican and the whole time he was nothing but a uniquely shameless Italian con artist living in a $90,000 a month apartment with a $60,000 housecleaning service you NEVER KNEW THE DIFFERENCE. You, Anne, are kind of stupid; this is your intervention; most pretty girls in this country never get one so consider yourself blessed. Not that I know you, I am just speculating, not on the basis of the fact that you just likened making out with Steve Carell to a "yummy lollipop" but on the basis that you once called "charity work" such an "aphrodisiac," which would be an idiotic thing to say if your boyfriend was the Pope himself, but ha ha, no, you probably just thought he was friends with the Pope. Which brings me to my very fave part of this indictment: More »

1:30 PM on Tue Jun 24 2008
By Moe
21,525 views, 148 comments

Latest by n/a: @aspiringexpatriate: Thank you, I was just about to ask about the equivalent of a beard for lesbians. Also: I too have had boyfriends, friends, and relatives who have hidden and lied about pretty significant things that I had no idea about, more »

rag trade

God Bless Ridiculous Fashion Folk, Every One Of Them

  • God bless Vivienne Westwood for being so undeniably herself. Says the fashion designer-cum-philosopher: "I'd like to do less, but there are people dependent on me now. My thing has always been, just let me finish this pair of trousers and then I can read my book. We've all got to wear something, I suppose. So my advice would be to buy quality. Choose well. I think there's a certain status in seeing someone wearing the same thing over and over again." [Vogue UK]
  • God bless Heidi Klum. She's just so wise: "[Take] time out for yourself so you can engage in an activity that you really enjoy. [Also, don't] neglect the romance in your life. [And] wear pretty lingerie if you don't want to feel schlumpy." [Vogue UK]
  • God bless Donatella Versace for saying at the Times Talks on Sunday that her fashion motto is "Don't let the rappers wear more bling than you do!" and that she hopes to be reincarnated as Maya Rudolph. [Fashion Week Daily]
More »

11:30 AM on Tue May 6 2008
By Jennifer
3,301 views, 42 comments

Latest by Sukie in the Graveyard: I will use "schlumpy" for ever and ever. more »

Some troubling news on the pro-choice front: according to the AFP, almost 70% of Italian gynecologists refuse to perform abortions, up from under 60% in 2003. "Italy legalized abortion in 1978 but pressure from the Vatican enabled doctors to claim a 'conscientious objection' and refuse to carry out the procedure," the NY Times reports. A large percentage of Italian anesthetists are also refusing to participate in abortions — nearly 50% these days. In Sicily, a whopping 84% of gynos will not perform the procedures. [Agence France-Presse via New York Times]

122 comments

crappy hour

Are You There, God? It's Your Favorite Client, Messiah Barry Hussein Obama

Barack Obama thinks the new Pope is hustling the opiate of the masses. But it's the opiate that kept him off his cokehead ways so it's okay! Hillary thinks the potential for life begins at conception, and that Obama is an elitist. Is it possible that the second coming of the Messiah is also the reincarnation of Karl Marx? Is it possible that some countries can only subsist on dirt and opiates for so long? Are we talking about Marx when we should be talking about Malthus and stockpiling guns? Barack Obama seems to think so, and guess what? We agree. In Jezebel's deepest spiritual discussion since I wrote about how being a Libra made me believe in God, the inimitable Megan and I discuss the papacy, fave hymns, and how cool it would be if Jesus came back as a Palestinian stand-up comedian.
More »

10:00 AM on Mon Apr 14 2008
By Moe
6,424 views, 384 comments

Latest by n/a: Obama smokes, but this is (another) doctored photo. Here's the original: http://www.news.uiuc _________________________________________________________________ Need to know now? Get instant answers with Windows Live Messenger. http://www.windowslive.com/messenger/connect_your_way.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Refresh_messenger_062008 more »

end of days

Calling Britney 'Crazy': A Way To Keep Our Jobs? Or Lose Them? So Confused

  • Apparently posting up photos of Britney Spears and labeling her "crazy" is illegal. Does this mean we're part of some sort of underground economy? [E!]
  • In today's installment of what happens when we read too quickly, we thought this said, "Robot explores giant crayon." [BBC]
  • Bush's budget director Rob Portman, the only member of the administration who could actually define the word "budget," resigned for "personal reasons." [CNN]
  • Imagine a future without consensual sex...[Daily Mail]
  • Per the Vatican, thou shalt not cut off another driver, flick him off, and scream, "I hope you die, motherfucker!" [CNN]
  • The Rubik's cube gets a "facelift." [ABC News]
  • Fire in South Carolina the deadliest for firefighters since September 11. [Guardian]
  • 6 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]
More »

7:05 PM on Tue Jun 19 2007
By Jennifer
489 views, 2 comments

Latest by sakade: When I read over that headline, all I saw was "Robot Sub Explores Giant Crayon" and I kept thinking, is it funny because they didn't notice the "Sub" part? Is a robot sub that explores a crayon much more more »