From the moment the imperious music began and the narrator intoned that the Republicans wanted to "kick out" Obama from the White House, CNN left no overwrought TV styling untried.

One of my favorite things (okay, the only favorite thing) about Sarah Palin is her beautiful hair. So perhaps it's only fitting that her hair salon, the Beehive, should get its own two-part reality show.

Do you believe "skinny bitches need to step aside"? That "Big girls don't cry… they freakin' party!"? Oh, and you must "appear younger than 35" to be cast in a new VH1 "docu-series" on fabulously "phat" plus-sized women.

Within the first 10 minutes of the Jersey Shore reunion show, MTV revisited Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's club flirtations in Miami with a lady his roommates believed was born a man. Cue everyone laughing at the disgusting freak of nature!

Two seasons and a Dancing With The Stars spot in, Mike Bloomberg still only sort of gives a shit about this Sensation fellow.

The guy who falsely confessed to murdering JonBenet Ramsey, Casey Anthony's family, all things remotely related to Natalee Holloway — meet the man who brings these treasures to television "news." At least he hates Nancy Grace.

The season finale of The Bachelorette fulfilled all of my mildest dreams. It had everything I've ever wanted: love, loss, and a surprising amount of bodily fluids — except for one thing: it was mind-numbingly safe.

"We're in the American pop-culture business so it's tits and ass that sells," says the guy who books the Jersey Shore guys at clubs. The exception: The Jersey Shore guys.

Two ex-flames on transsexual demi-celeb Jamie Clayton: "I've never been attracted to any others; I don't think there are any others like her." "Usually when you're attracted to a girl, you don't necessarily respect her." But this one is different!

One anonymous TV exec told Page Six that Brevi is too boring to get their own reality TV show. So maybe the two "family friends" telling PopEater that Sarah Palin is boycotting their August wedding is just trying to help!

When kids appear on reality TV shows, are they working like actors, or being filmed like a documentary? That's at the heart of the question of whether they're being exploited in violation of child labor laws.

Laurence Sunderland, father of teen sailor Abby Sunderland, has admitted that he signed on to do a reality TV show just weeks after Abby set off on her solo sail. However, he maintains that her trip "wasn't a stunt." [NYP]

It was inevitable. I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet. That said, how could one not groan at the news that a production company is casting for the "Super Jappy" answer to Jersey Shore?

This is how you make it in America: Noted White House party-crashers Tareq and Michaela Salahi will be "the most visible members" of Bravo's upcoming series The Real Housewives of D.C. Meanwhile, Desiree Rogers is unemployed. [The Daily Beast]

In a distinctly less glamorous age of flying — even if it's better for workplace equality — is the life of the flight attendant still alluring? Fly Girls, a new show starring Virgin America's air hostesses, thinks so.

The Big Money's Chadwick Matlin noticed that the fascination with the Jersey Shore cast member getting punched in the face does not seem to have waned. [Twitter, Earlier]

When Nikki Finke pointed out that this looks like one of the worst pilot seasons for women on the major networks, several explanations emerged. Several of her commenters' theories about female scriptwriting inferiority aside, what's going on here?

Joe Simpson is developing a comedy series with Nickelodeon based on his own life. The show will center around one of two daughters, who begins imitating her psychologist-dad at school. The show has not yet been titled. Any suggestions? [US]

And that includes "Portuguese and Irish," he says. "You go to the mall, you see tons of people with the hairdo now. You go to the club, there's a million Pauly Ds in the crowd." [AP, Earlier]

The best efforts of nearly the entire cast of Jersey Shore — boys included — aren't enough to endow Us's Lindsay Powers with the bulbous abundance of Snooki's hair pouf. Guess their aesthetic isn't quite so achievable after all.