Also - just a quibble about the headline: Zach only has one Maddy. That was the term the family decided to use for Jennifer. Her wife is still Mom, I think.
I've read both her books and loved them. It's great to read about how supportive her wife and kids are... and it's completely heartbreaking to learn that her sister has cut her out of her life completely.
I love Jennifer Finney Boyle. She's a laugh riot and totally open to any question you want to ask her. However, when I met her, all the questions I really wanted to ask were for her wife.
i will never forget being at a gymnastics class when i was about nine years old. queen's bohemian rhapsody came on the radio and my coach made them turn it off. he looked at me, and in a very serious tone said, "they call themselves queen. do you know what that means? queens are gay men, and that is not how god made us. this is unnatural and children should not be subjected to it." i looked at him and said, "you asshole." my parents had never mentioned gay people to me at all, neither for nor against, but after years of being an atheist gymnast in a catholic gym, i had realized that sometimes you need to think for yourself.
Her wife must be a pretty amazing woman. It would be hard to learn that you really didn't truly know your life partner until so many years into a marriage, and then, learning that, to decide to stay by during and after the changes. Just WOW.
I think if my husband came to me and told me he wanted to transition, I would want to be with him still (but I like girlparts too, so it would be cool), but I would be so scared of to what degree the gender change would change who he inherently was, if at all. It must have been very scary for the mother in this story. I hope it continues to work for them.
As Britney Spears twittered, Love is love. I can't believe I just quoted a Twitter.
@JerseyGrrrl: From my experience (one of my best friends--my two best friends, aside from my fiance, are a couple--is ftm and began transitioning a year after I met him), very little about him changed as a person. We all knew that there was something up, and that he was uncomfortable with himself as he was before, and the general air after his coming out was relief.
As more and more young people, especially more and more young queer people who experiment with other sexual identities before considering that another gender identity may be the issue, grow up, I think we'll see and hear about more experiences like mine and my friend's.
I had to read Jennifer Finney Boylan's book - "She's Not There" - for my Human Sexuality class in college. It's really well written (doesn't hurt that she is an English professor and a great writer), and I really recommend it.
My elementary school, an Episcopalian school outside of DC, had a day one year where we "celebrated" disabilities. They brought in people with varying disabilities, one guy was in a wheelchair, one woman was blind, etc. and they discussed how it was live in a society that wasn't necessarily geared towards them. I remember telling people about it a few years ago and they were appalled. They said it sounded exploitative, as if my school was putting them on display or something. I don't remember it that way at all. Maybe I was just a super-open-minded kid, but learning about people who were different than me felt like a really great learning experience. I learned to appreciate differences.
Awwwww, that's so sweet... and that son is obviously going to be a powerhouse in some form or another. That's some wonderful emotional empathy for such a young age!
I'm interested in the book now... I am curious(althogh perhaps she prefers to keep this private for herself and her wife?) if there are any sexuality issues, as formerly straight men who are transgendered often are interested in women after their transition.
@NoelleBlue: I find it very interesting that the first thing people always are curious about in regards to folks with any variation from the "norm" is about their sex life.
Hmmm, and as to your comment: I am always fascinated by sexuality, have been since I was a wee child reading gay fiction anthologies(my parents didn't believe in censorship), so I can't speak for 'people', truthfully, only for myself.
I think it says a great deal about sexuality, and what it is based on (hormones, physiology, psychology?), that it becomes fluid for many who are transgendered based on their transitions. And as the author has welcomed people into her marriage and into her life, it has thus made me curious for other sides of the story.
I don't think sexual curiosity, if healthy and respectful, is negative. I also have a great deal of curiosity about those who are WITHIN the accepted boundaries for the 'Norm'... usually because they end up being anything but.
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i still feel bad for that close minded prick.
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I think if my husband came to me and told me he wanted to transition, I would want to be with him still (but I like girlparts too, so it would be cool), but I would be so scared of to what degree the gender change would change who he inherently was, if at all. It must have been very scary for the mother in this story. I hope it continues to work for them.
As Britney Spears twittered, Love is love. I can't believe I just quoted a Twitter.
04/28/09
As more and more young people, especially more and more young queer people who experiment with other sexual identities before considering that another gender identity may be the issue, grow up, I think we'll see and hear about more experiences like mine and my friend's.
04/27/09
I'm not reading it because it'll probably make me cry too. Then again, I think an episode of Cold Case made me cry the other day.
04/27/09
Good parenting takes all sorts of forms. Nicely done, Mommy and Maddy...
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I'm interested in the book now... I am curious(althogh perhaps she prefers to keep this private for herself and her wife?) if there are any sexuality issues, as formerly straight men who are transgendered often are interested in women after their transition.
04/27/09
04/27/09
Hmmm, and as to your comment: I am always fascinated by sexuality, have been since I was a wee child reading gay fiction anthologies(my parents didn't believe in censorship), so I can't speak for 'people', truthfully, only for myself.
I think it says a great deal about sexuality, and what it is based on (hormones, physiology, psychology?), that it becomes fluid for many who are transgendered based on their transitions. And as the author has welcomed people into her marriage and into her life, it has thus made me curious for other sides of the story.
I don't think sexual curiosity, if healthy and respectful, is negative. I also have a great deal of curiosity about those who are WITHIN the accepted boundaries for the 'Norm'... usually because they end up being anything but.
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Nice point, I ruin it.
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And obviously no matter what your point still stands.
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