I'm so angry about how this happened - now and what happened in the intervening years - in my country.
The most shocking thing about this case for IRELAND (apart from the 'incest', which is horribly shocking in itself) is that the MANY authorities the family came in contact with were unable (eg, by an Irish High Court Order in 2000) and incapable of helping these kids (six in total) until 2004.
It was in 2004 that the male child in question had the guts to talk about the 'incest' to a foster parent.
The mother came to the attention of the authorities from the time she was pregnant with her first child - in 1989!
It's not clearly reported but this means that she, very possibly within her own family, was already being monitored in some capacity - ie, they were 'concerned' about her family background and about her being pregnant.
From then on, the news simply get seriously and tragically worse.
In around 1999, social workers managed to get an agreement between the mother and an aunt and uncle that aunt & uncle would take and look after the 6 kids, legally.
It appears (but the details are not clear yet) that the mother had support (possibly financial) from a very conservative Irish Catholic organisation that helped prevent this - hence the High Court action which returned her children to her and their vile, filthy home in 2000.
That teachers, neighbours etc, DID NOT report something about what was very clearly happening to the kids (they were thin, filthy, lice infested, etc); that the people the mother drank with outside the home (she was a serious alcoholic) an on almost daily basis DID NOT say something; AND - especially - that the authorities were either (by draconian Irish laws, etc) NOT ABLE to do something to protect and care for the children properly is so shocking.
The reason the mother was charged with 'incest' and was only sentenced to SEVEN years is that an over 100-year old Irish law, on the statue, gives this as the maximum term for that crime, for a woman. If a man had conducted these crimes in Ireland he would be, rightly, eligible for a life sentencing.
Ireland needs to get its head out of its arse about abuse, crimes towards children and who commits these.
The Irish Constitution protect the family as a foremost centre of society, and therefore, the rights of a parent - above the rights of a child.
Irish governments have been promising a referendum vote on children's rights for over a decade. Irish law and the constitution is seriously lacking in protecting children - in their own homes!
These kids have been abused not only by their mother but by their country.
@kit10indublin: This should be its own post. Thank you for the background (even if it is very upsetting). I wish this was required reading for all the conservatives here in the US that talk about "protecting the family" and "family values" - which is basically just a bumper sticker way of saying The Gub'ment Can't Make Me Stop Beating My Kids if I Don't Want To Stop!
What an evil evil woman. And how is it she had continued access to her son in foster care so she could threaten him with additional rapes to keep him quiet? How is it that an abuser gets visitation with a victim?
And, hopefully, ALL of her children are getting help. A sexual predator is likely to have other victims out there-- her other kids may not have escaped assault.
God, poor kid. Add the Irish Catholic guilt and repression (even stronger in the motherland than among Irish-Americans) and the fact that County Roscommon is incredibly remote and this is even sadder.
This makes me sick. I have loved ones, male and female, who were sexually abused as children, and every time I hear a case like this, it makes me nearly homicidal. I hope that boy gets good counseling.
@eri401: Rape of a man isn't just PIV penetration either. There's several ways to rape someone that don't fit the 'traditional' definitions, but that would be rape legally.
Why do you think it is that women are not charged with incest frequently? Is it that it doesn't happen often, or that boys are much less likely to report it? I go with the latter, and I'm sorry that sexism has to swing both ways in this instance. I think that the gender constructs that we have make it difficult for a boy to say he was "raped" by his mother.
@Vivelafat is the Quizat Haderach: I think it probably doesn't happen as often. Rape by males is far more prevalent than rape by females, so - and I know I'm making assumptions here, but I think they're logical assumptions - female-perpetrated incest probably happens less often than male-perpetrated.
Maybe both the rape and incest rates have something to do with the different ways men and women (are taught to/can) express power over someone else?
I'm doing the typing equivalent of thinking aloud, here, so these are not fully-formed thoughts.
The strange thing is, she was only sentenced to seven years in jail because that was the maximum the judge could give her - because she's a woman (a man could have received a life sentence) and these acts were committed pre-2006.
Thankfully that loophole has now been closed, but I don't understand why it wasn't applied retroactively (am I using the right term there?).
This is also a failure on the part of social services, obviously. Christ, these poor kids.
@yvanehtnioj: Right. You can't grandfather someone into a law. In this case it would be nice, but it's pretty shitty to make a law, tell you you broke it last week, and then punish you for it.
@yvanehtnioj: Ahh OK. I just Googled it and it's unconstitutional here too, although I thought we had an instance a couple of years ago where statutory rape law was changed (to close a loophole, again) and applied retroactively...but perhaps not.
I'm not being an ass, but I'm genuinely curious. How does one rape a man?
A man must have an erection in order to have vaginal intercourse, right? When Jezebel posted the commentary about the new visibility of older women abusing boys, one of the comments in the original article pointed to that fundamental difference: a woman does not have to be aroused to have sex; A man does.
I'm not saying this diminishes the obvious abuse going on. But it seriously confuses me.
I read this yesterday and wanted to cry. The part about how the kids said the nits in their hair would just crawl down their faces, and Mummy wouldn't let them put up their hair because when it was down around their faces the bugs would be hidden? Like, is it SO HARD to pull parasites off the faces of your children?
Please excuse my ignorance, but how exactly does this happen? I can't see how any boy would be physically capable of completing the sex act with their mother and/or parent or guardian. Wouldn't they not be able to, because it is too psychologically damaging and the situation too traumatic? Of course, there are many ways to rape, and many acts that can be included as sex acts.I guess my mind is rejecting the whole concept. It seems unfathomably monstrous.
@restless: A man's body can react without him wanting it to, I imagine for a young boy with even less control over his body, sometimes it will react to any sort of stimulation, even unwanted stimulation. Many female victims of sexual assault will physically react to the sexual stimulation through lubrication and even orgasm, even though they don't want the sexual contact.
Speaking from personal experience here my experience was that the actual act of stimulation is purely physical. I never wanted the stimulation, and I went through hours and hours of therapy just to come to grips with that.
Honestly....... your body cannot tell the differences between unwanted and wanted stimulation.
Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November! was starred
Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November! was unstarred
@restless: Some women orgasm when they're raped. Doesn't mean they weren't horrifically traumatized. Ever hear the term "it has a mind of its own"? In a sense, that's true...
@restless: His mother started raping him when he was 13.
When I was 13, I would get a erection if I sneezed.
I don't understand it, everyone knows the struggles of puberty and how a body reacts and changes, but more often than not puberty in boys is seemingly dismissed.
I know that I didn't go through the same changes you did jezzies, but it wasn't a picnic for me either. The combination of wet dreams, random erections, and being a walking stack of hormones made me ashamed of myself. I hated myself. I was 13 and in a depression that made me question whether or not things would be better if I was dead.
Is it that hard to imagine that a boy with no control over how his body will physically react would be traumatized to the point of surrender by the act of being fucked by his own mother?
@Gundam_Halo: This is something I try to explain to people all the time. It's that "you can't rape the willing" mentality. Which is awful, because how do you know the victim is willing? Many times one can be unwilling but still responsive to physical stimulation. But in general I find that people who fall back on that phrase really have a disregard for victims of sexual abuse/assault and are hiding behind it.
I can't really handle shit like this anymore. If I hear one more Casey/Caylee Anthony story I'm going to either cry or hurt someone. Or hurt someone with crying.
@ohgoodness: I know the feeling. I'm going to be extra snarky today so I don't cry and go home and hug my Hello Kitty doll. It's the closest I can get to a kitten at this point.
I worry though that our visceral revulsion toward these crimes causes a failure to understand the problems. Understanding them is the only way we could combat them effectively.
01/23/09
The most shocking thing about this case for IRELAND (apart from the 'incest', which is horribly shocking in itself) is that the MANY authorities the family came in contact with were unable (eg, by an Irish High Court Order in 2000) and incapable of helping these kids (six in total) until 2004.
It was in 2004 that the male child in question had the guts to talk about the 'incest' to a foster parent.
The mother came to the attention of the authorities from the time she was pregnant with her first child - in 1989!
It's not clearly reported but this means that she, very possibly within her own family, was already being monitored in some capacity - ie, they were 'concerned' about her family background and about her being pregnant.
From then on, the news simply get seriously and tragically worse.
In around 1999, social workers managed to get an agreement between the mother and an aunt and uncle that aunt & uncle would take and look after the 6 kids, legally.
It appears (but the details are not clear yet) that the mother had support (possibly financial) from a very conservative Irish Catholic organisation that helped prevent this - hence the High Court action which returned her children to her and their vile, filthy home in 2000.
That teachers, neighbours etc, DID NOT report something about what was very clearly happening to the kids (they were thin, filthy, lice infested, etc); that the people the mother drank with outside the home (she was a serious alcoholic) an on almost daily basis DID NOT say something; AND - especially - that the authorities were either (by draconian Irish laws, etc) NOT ABLE to do something to protect and care for the children properly is so shocking.
The reason the mother was charged with 'incest' and was only sentenced to SEVEN years is that an over 100-year old Irish law, on the statue, gives this as the maximum term for that crime, for a woman. If a man had conducted these crimes in Ireland he would be, rightly, eligible for a life sentencing.
Ireland needs to get its head out of its arse about abuse, crimes towards children and who commits these.
The Irish Constitution protect the family as a foremost centre of society, and therefore, the rights of a parent - above the rights of a child.
Irish governments have been promising a referendum vote on children's rights for over a decade. Irish law and the constitution is seriously lacking in protecting children - in their own homes!
These kids have been abused not only by their mother but by their country.
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
And, hopefully, ALL of her children are getting help. A sexual predator is likely to have other victims out there-- her other kids may not have escaped assault.
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
Maybe both the rape and incest rates have something to do with the different ways men and women (are taught to/can) express power over someone else?
I'm doing the typing equivalent of thinking aloud, here, so these are not fully-formed thoughts.
01/23/09
01/23/09
A child should be allowed to be a child for as long as possible. To steal that from someone is despicable.
01/23/09
Thankfully that loophole has now been closed, but I don't understand why it wasn't applied retroactively (am I using the right term there?).
This is also a failure on the part of social services, obviously. Christ, these poor kids.
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
More Googling is in order.
01/23/09
A man must have an erection in order to have vaginal intercourse, right? When Jezebel posted the commentary about the new visibility of older women abusing boys, one of the comments in the original article pointed to that fundamental difference: a woman does not have to be aroused to have sex; A man does.
I'm not saying this diminishes the obvious abuse going on. But it seriously confuses me.
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
Speaking from personal experience here my experience was that the actual act of stimulation is purely physical. I never wanted the stimulation, and I went through hours and hours of therapy just to come to grips with that.
Honestly....... your body cannot tell the differences between unwanted and wanted stimulation.
01/23/09
01/23/09
When I was 13, I would get a erection if I sneezed.
I don't understand it, everyone knows the struggles of puberty and how a body reacts and changes, but more often than not puberty in boys is seemingly dismissed.
I know that I didn't go through the same changes you did jezzies, but it wasn't a picnic for me either. The combination of wet dreams, random erections, and being a walking stack of hormones made me ashamed of myself. I hated myself. I was 13 and in a depression that made me question whether or not things would be better if I was dead.
Is it that hard to imagine that a boy with no control over how his body will physically react would be traumatized to the point of surrender by the act of being fucked by his own mother?
...forgive me if I ranted.
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
01/23/09
I worry though that our visceral revulsion toward these crimes causes a failure to understand the problems. Understanding them is the only way we could combat them effectively.
01/23/09