Jezebel
the jezebel diet
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the jezebel diet
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Beer: It's What's For Dinner
"So let there be no more loose talk — especially not now, with summer arriving — about beer not being essential. Benjamin Franklin was, as usual, on to something when he said, 'Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'" That's George Will on the funnest consequence of the cholera epidemic, which is to say, people like me who think people who don't like beer haven't properly evolved. Click the pic for the key passage. [Wash Post]
the jezebel diet
self-help
John Prescott's Ugly Common Person's Guide To Coping With Eating Disorders
Remember that deputy Prime Minister who resigned two years ago with Tony Blair only to resurface a year and a half later with a memoir about his decades-long struggle with bulimia? The British press sure does! And while coverage of this confession has generally fallen into the category of "merciless mockfest", an interview in the latest British Esquire convinced me he was doing bulimics of the world a service. Because while writing about your eating disorder isn't really a British thing to do, John Prescott's method of dealing with his eating disorder is kind of hilariously British, starting with the way his wife caught wind of the problem: she noticed symptoms she'd learned about from Princess Di. Which is, of course, the grand irony: the kids all assume eating disorders are the path to looking like Di and Nicole Richie when, ha ha ha, Prescott pukes his food too! Herewith, John Prescott's Stiff Upper Esophagus Guide To To Coming To Terms With Your Puking Problem, culled from Esquire. More »
"Croissant…coffee… double cognac."
Breakfast is my favorite meal, perhaps because it's the only meal I remember to eat every day, and every day I have an egg sandwich, and it costs the same price as four cigarettes in New York and tides you over lots longer. So anyway, the New York Magazine breakfast issue hit home, even though its "Breakfast! People Are Eating It Again!" premise was kind of inane (in other news: Drinking is cool! No seriously!), a lameness underscored by the fact that they asked 100 New Yorkers what they'd eaten for breakfast and pretty much all of them had eaten something. Jim McBride, Jason LeMaster and Shane Webb seem to have had the best time. Most acid-refluxive breakfast you ate recently after the jump. [NY Mag]
I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won't Cook That
I've never been a fan of "foodie-ism" or really, any cultural movement that muddles art/commerce/housework to the detriment of the public good (i.e. fashion, blogging) but this food blogger I met recently, Michele, is maybe the Joan Didion to my Bill Buckley on these matters. (She also dresses well.) These cupcakes are made from meatloaf and mashed potatoes and that is awesome. [FineFuriousLife]
angst lite
The Sorrows Of Young Werther's Originals: Or, Why Artifical Sweeteners Are Bad
Dear Leslie, Congrats on the publication of your essay In Defense Of Saccharin in the Black Warrior Review. You're a hell of a writer; I totally get what Harvard/Iowa/whatever dude you wrote this essay to get over saw in you. So it sorta kills me to say that you're wrong. It doesn't sound particularly counterintuitive to say so, but artificial sweeteners, like the high-fructose corn syrup they were engineered to replace, are wrong. From a public health standpoint they only breed diabetes and deforestation, but it's actually more your tastebuds I'm concerned about: six Equals into a cup of coffee is simply gross. More »
annals of anorexia
Should You Sleep In Saran Wrap? Eat Only Every Other Day? Elle Answers Your Pressing Diet Questions!
This I will say for Elle: The magazine's journalistic standards may be miles above their peers in fashion magazining, it might be the only women's magazine targeted at my age group I don't want to kill myself reading, but. Never did this publication let any sort of "mission" put a damper on its steady stream of "insane diets you can try if you are insane" features. The stories have the same arc: I came, I starved, I looked temporarily hotter wearing something completely impractical someplace completely idiotic, I bought $973 worth of fancy supplements and talked to two "experts"...yeah fuck all that, cheese. Anyway after last month's anemic juice fast story, I thought I was over this genre. Then I read "Fast Times: Could Eating Every Other Day Have The Same Payoff As Full-Time Calorie Restriction?" (Um: if you can handle starving every other day, sure!) But that was just the start. Ten pages later: More »
the diet story diet
The "No Diet Diet": If It's Not A Diet, Why Do They Have To Write About It?
Might I direct your attention-and-subsequent-inattention to a stubborn meme that Needs to Die Now? It's the "no-diet diet." (Oxymoronic, and moronic!) I don't feel like searching through the archive of Cover Lies to prove that the "no diet diet," which is basically the same as the "French Woman Don't Get Fat Diet" (and incidentally, the Gwen Shamblin "Weigh Down Diet") — and probably a zillion other diets that would have you believe they're the antidote to "fad" dieting and last held favor sometime in the nineties, probably between the era of the "snack goods with horrible artificial ingredients" Diet and the Third Atkins Dynasty — is hot right now, but today this trend found its way into the Wall Street Journal and this simple paragraph re the subject of "eating less fast" kind of made me want to die. More »
modelslips
Whenever I Feel Like Starving Myself, I Just Look At "1 Cup Of Oatmeal With Brown Sugar.doc"
You know how every time you get too comfortable with yourself, secure with your identity and your shortcomings, strengths flaws etc. etc., you'll suddenly out of nowhere for whatever reason find yourself plopped into a strange unfamiliar new context that challenges all you thought and believed and assumed was true? Well in modeling that place is called Paris. After a lifetime of holding as a self-evident truth that she was thin, our anonymous model Tatiana journeyed to Paris and learned that the opposite was, in fact, the case. How Tatiana learned to adjust to the harsh reality of her fat, in a very special Modelslips, after the jump. More »
Time was you had to eat a whole plate of ravioli to convince the media you didn't have an eating disorder, but this picture, of model "Judith" consuming what looks to be at least fifteen "carbo-loaded" calories worth of dry Old-Fashioned Quaker Oats, is supposed to constitute some evidence that "models like to eat." Sure. [Animal New York]
appreciation
Eggs: The Best Things Anyone Ever Pulled Out Of An Ass
Another morning, another story about how people should eat breakfast making us hungry to eat another breakfast because, duh, we're bloggers, of course we eat breakfast. (Right? Don't we? Don't worry; I asked!) Anyway, the important part: market forces are threatening to put this very most cherished tradition under attack! The price of eggs is skyrocketing! And Starbucks, the purveyor of roughly 2/7 of my weekly breakfasts is pulling breakfast sandwiches from its menu in response to the recession. I think eggs are a "Giffen good," which is an economic term for those commodities you don't appreciate until they get more expensive. Anna, for instance, eats egg white sandwiches every day but says thinking about the eggs "grosses [her] out." Just wait until you're forced to eat them 20 meals a week, love! So: I am going to get a head start on this and appreciate eggs in advance. Me, I eat some sort of egg sandwich every single day. This habit began, as so many do, with a hangover, and like so many other hangover-related rituals, it became habit. I used to worry it would raise my cholesterol level. More »
BAD. NEWS.
For people who like wine i.e. the ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES: "It could explain why millions forget what they are doing mid-task, or arrive in a room only to forget why they went there in the first place," according to our favorite British newspaper. Time to go on the Jezebel Diet.[Daily Mail]
For people who like wine i.e. the ENTIRE FUCKING SPECIES: "It could explain why millions forget what they are doing mid-task, or arrive in a room only to forget why they went there in the first place," according to our favorite British newspaper. Time to go on the Jezebel Diet.[Daily Mail]
womb raiders
When Did Baby Weight Become Just Plain Fat?
A week or two ago I glanced up from my laptop long enough to catch my first glimpse of a commercial whose audio I had heard dozens of times before. It was for Nutri-System, and the audio consisted of a woman's claim to have lost 41 pounds following the weight-loss regimen. Is that Jillian Barberie? I wondered, unaware that the morning television personality I had watched habitually for years as a resident of Los Angeles in the earlier part of this century had since changed her name to Jillian Barberie-Reynolds or, more to the point, that she had become fat. (And, mercifully, thin again.) I consulted Google: indeed, she had gained 41 pounds. And what unfortunate fate had occasioned this traumatic bloat in Jillian's trademark svelte frame? Oh, pregnancy. Hmm. Well, then. It is now a few weeks later, and I find myself mulling the merits of Lisa Marie Presley's libel lawsuit against the Daily Mail for a related phenomenon, the equation of the weight gained due to one's pregnancy with weight gained due to eating an excess of food. More »
intervention
Ann, Babydoll, You Gotta Eat Something
Dear Ann Coulter, we need a chit-chat. Ever since you endorsed Hillary that fateful night on Fox, you've been growing on me. The problem is, you haven't been growing. To be perfectly frank, we didn't care so much about your eating disorder before you came out and told Hillary exactly what we've been wanting to say to her all these years re that husband of hers: "You're too good for him, Hillary". But there's a worrisome trend: as your public statements increasingly reveal you to be a mere parody of yourself, your eating habits are following suit. What is this we hear about you eschewing food to chew Nicorette all night at some fancy gathering of the hateful over the weekend? Oh sure, you were there with Bob Novak, and vehicles for the Bush Administration's relentless and profligate abuse of power make me lose my appetite too, but come on, lady: we all know that of all the things God was hoping you'd give up for Lent, calories were pretty far down the list. More »
first world problems
Do Smart Women Write Diet Books?
Running through a recent Psychology Today profile on feminist/Democratic pundit/Fox News talking head Susan Estrich I came across an interesting fact: she once wrote a diet book. What?Dealing with your weight in a healthy way, as opposed to letting it get in the way of your life—which I did for many years, is a feminist issue. And to get stuck on weight, to be standing in a dressing room with women of every nationality, talking about how much they hate themselves—"I hate my hips, I hate my thighs, I hate my stomach, I hate myself"—is not very feminist. And it sold more copies than any other book I ever wrote.Um, hm. I looked up the book. Making A Case For Yourself, it's called. The last chapter is called "Why You Need New Underwear." Oh god. More »
drunkorexia
Eating Disorders Can Turn You Into An Alcoholic. Is That So Bad?
Why will an anorexic tormented by the prospect of eating a single grape gladly knock back a few glasses of wine? The New York Times pondered the dilemma of "drunkorexia" this weekend and came up generally with the answer: because it makes you drunk, duh, and drunkenness cures everything, including most of the brain activity responsible for most humans' general malaise. I would also add that wine tastes a lot better than grapes, or indeed, most foods, or that, in fact, most alcoholic beverages taste better than most foods, which is why beer forms the foundation of the food pyramid I established when I was masterminding the "Jezebel Diet." Then there is the fact that if you are one of those people who feels fat all the time, the alcohol kind of solves that problem, and the fact that it can jump-start a faulty upchuck engine, if you're into that. More »
the jezebel diet
What's The Dumbest Thing You Ever Did To Lose Weight?
SCARY CELEB DIET TRICKS no sane woman should try! That's a story on page 348 of the March Glamour. Reverse psychology? Irresponsible? Whatever, we're reading on! And... well, turns out they abuse Dieter's Tea, do "liquid cleanses" and "stay locked in the gym...and then LIE about it." Oh, Jesus. As someone who has done all that shit and worse — well, I don't think I ever lied about going to the gym, as if going to the gym was something shameful in this society, but whatevs — I thought I'd save the jump for some even dumber diet ideas. More »
grill of rights
