sexual abuse - Jezebel

posts about #sexualabuse more →
The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
Did Phillips' Revelation Help Incest Victims?
Female Pastor Sentenced To Life In Prison For Abusing Adopted Daughters
Reports Of Sex Abuse By Priests "Investigated" In Italy
Sexual Abuse By Women: The Crime No One Wants To Investigate
Elisabeth Fritzl Reportedly In Love With Bodyguard
Report Details Abuse Of Thousands Of Children At Irish Catholic Schools
Study: Childhood Sexual Abuse May Cause Earlier Periods
New Laws Treat Teen Prostitutes As Abuse Victims, Rather Than Criminals
Does This Look Like Mental Health Counseling To You?

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AnotherJenn
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
My mom had a client in CA who lost her son for almost a year because the baby's father abused him when the baby was in his care. She was convicted of neglect because she should have known her ex was abusive. The guy had partial custody! She was legally obligated to let her son spend time with the guy, but because he was then abused her son got taken away, she got probation and court-ordered counseling and her son was placed with-- wait for it-- the MOTHER of her ex-boyfriend. T

Hearing about that whole mess made me think about reporting in a whole new way. Sometimes you're screwed either way. #abuse
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mommy_dearest
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
DV victims also get evicted for "noise disturbances." I worked with a woman who finally kicked out her abusive boyfriend after a horrendously violent fight. The next day she got evicted because the fight had been so loud. #abuse
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LittleDogLaughed
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
Don't know much about Amish communities, but isn't reporting it to the church more or less the same as reporting it to the government?

Whereas in the population at large, we have lots of "mandated reporters" who are required to notify CPS if they even suspect abuse. If this had happened in a secular community, she could have told the girls' teachers, and someone would have had to follow up. #abuse
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la.donna.pietra
10/19/09

@LittleDogLaughed: Depending on which church is involved (both in terms of denomination and individual church), reports of abuse may get buried by church elders. Ideally, you'd have a situation in which church leaders would talk to the abuser and make it clear that abuse won't be tolerated, but that's assuming that 1) the abuser cares what the church thinks and 2) the church has real power over him. #abuse
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Working-for-the-weekend
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
We have the additional problem in our local system where an abuser will cross file allegations of abuse, and the judge almost always enters mutual protection orders. So, you get beat up, and then you also get stigmatized as an abuser. #abuse
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bluesbelle
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
So by Aimco's stated logic you could also be evicted if someone committed armed robbery against you in your home. Nice.

It's really just indefensable and they should just admit they failure and make amends. #abuse
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dj_chick
10/19/09

@bluesbelle: I used to live in an Aimco complex. They're craptastic. Not that it's shocking to find out that a large corporation has some fucked up policies. I would never move into one of their properties again unless it was a last resort. And I do mean LAST. #abuse
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Lymed
10/19/09

@bluesbelle: Or if you or somebody else was falsely accused...they base it on arrest or a commission of a crime. #abuse
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Friday
10/19/09

@bluesbelle: I'm sure that if you were murdered in your home they'd evict you posthumously.

This story really made my blood boil. #abuse
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
10/19/09

@bluesbelle: I highly doubt they'd evict the victim of an armed robbery. That's different, because in an abusive situation, the victim has done something to bring it on him or herself, so it's fair to evict the "victim." Maybe she didn't wash his dishes, ya know? But in an armed robbery, it's usually random, no fault there.

/puke

I'm emailing Aimco to ask them what they'd do if I were the victim of an armed robbery. #abuse
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curiousgeorgiana
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
This irritates me to no end (and offends me on a very personal level). All of these travesties play into the mental concept that women who are abused make their own beds and therefore deserve to deal with the ramifications. As if being the victim of a crime should carry a stigma.

If your flat screen tv gets stolen-- does that mean you no longer deserve the right to buy expensive electronics? #abuse
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Elaken
10/19/09

@curiousgeorgiana: When I was younger I use to buy into that stigma too 'why do these women stay and be abused?' Then I got involved with volunteer work that directly dealt with domestic violence. That and the training I got made me realize how wrong I was and ever since I try to educate people, because that belief is VERY widespread. #abuse
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curiousgeorgiana
10/19/09

@Elaken: It is incredibly widespread-- and I'm so glad you got involved. I was abused for over a year by a college boyfriend. I tried to tell one of my family members who refused to believe me-- "that wouldn't happen to a girl like you" was their response. It can happen to anyone! #abuse
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
10/19/09

@curiousgeorgiana: It's classic victim blaming. If anyone can be abused (or raped, or assaulted) then you can be abused. If regular guys are abusers (or rapists) then someone you might know and love could be an abuser. People want their rapists poor, colored and in alleyways and they want their abusers kicking puppies, downing booze and preying on meek women with emotional issues. #abuse
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Kivrin
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
I can see why an apartment complex might want to evict anyone who was involved in criminal activity. I imagine they're thinking, "Okay, if this resident is known to associate with violent criminals, could we be liable if her ex comes back with a gun and winds up shooting another one of our residents?" But if The System worked and actually kept abusers in jail where they belong, then the apartment complex wouldn't have to do shit like this. #abuse
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hollygirl
10/19/09

@Kivrin: yeah, if he pulls crap like that and she lets him live there, it does seem fair to everyone to ask her to work that out. Jail can't work forever, if you let the guy move back in. #abuse
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JoStockton
10/19/09

@hollygirl: Sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it seems like she was evicted mere days after the initial report of violence. I don't see how that would give her enough time to let him move "back in".

It's a delicate balance, between her rights and the other tenants, but it seems like they could have waited for the dust to settle... #abuse
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hollygirl
10/19/09

@JoStockton: Evicting her without giving her a chance to get rid of him is unfair, true. I don't know about laws where she lives. Here in gun-toting NYC it takes months to evict anyone for anything. #abuse
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
So what I'm taking from this is "don't get abused."

Awesome. I will get right on that. #abuse
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hollygirl
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
By which I meant the Mom was expressing her depressing world-view which came from a life of oppression and depersonalization... #abuse
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
Arresting people who hid abuse? Someone call the Vatican. #abuse
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hollygirl
10/19/09

In reply to The Perils Of Reporting Domestic Abuse
I met a woman from an immigrant family, she was first generation here in the US. When, as a teen-ager, she told her mom she was being molested by her Uncle, the mom was like, "right, that's what Uncles do.". Aiding and abetting, or just part of an under-class? #abuse
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
10/19/09

@hollygirl: This is yet another reason I get so angry when idiots talk about how feminism is 'no longer needed' in America. Even if they're living in some dream world where all US citizens are perfectly equal, are they under the impression that every immigrant feels the same way, or that they drop all their prejudices at the door? #abuse
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hollygirl
10/19/09

@HeatherNumber1: sing it! #abuse
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LeeroySpitzer
09/27/09

In reply to Did Phillips' Revelation Help Incest Victims?
It's gotta be a sore spot whenever she watches kindergarten cop. "Who is your Daddy and what does he do?"
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Bgirl_Hamster
09/25/09

In reply to Did Phillips' Revelation Help Incest Victims?
I was listening to Oprah XM on my hour long commute yesterday when Mackenzie was doing an interview and taking listener phone calls. It was astonishing how many women called in with their own stories of incest/abuse. And many of the callers reported that they were in incestuous relationships during their late teens, just like Mackenzie. I think this issue is much more prevalent than many would like to think.
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Phyllis Nefler
09/25/09

In reply to Did Phillips' Revelation Help Incest Victims?
at this point, it doesn't matter what her motivations were or are -- or even if it's true or not. if she helped even one person to come forward and seek help for their issues, it was worth it.

as far as I'm concerned, mackenzie is a hero - as is anyone who comes forward with any kind of abuse.
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Edited by Phyllis Nefler at 09/25/09 3:03 PM Phyllis Nefler was starred Phyllis Nefler was unstarred

Maulleigh
09/25/09

@Phyllis Nefler: agreed
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The Queen of No
09/25/09

In reply to Did Phillips' Revelation Help Incest Victims?
These women are so strong and I admire their courage. I cannot even explain how much relief it gives me to know that her coming out with this secret has helped so many people. I hope her family never again speaks ill of her choice.
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sassyredhead
09/25/09

@The Queen of No: The one thing that really struck me about Mackenzie was her saying that she cannot be the only one. I am glad that her saying something has helped.
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