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10 Things We Wish Guys Knew We Know
| posts about #ryanhansen more → |
10 Things We Wish Guys Knew We Know |
04/08/09
04/08/09
OY! That just put me off my lasagna.
04/07/09
My current dating person is not into poop humor. Like, at all. He doesn't laugh at poop jokes from anyone. Which is kinda sad to me, because all manners of poop are just hysterical.
But he's not so fucking stupid that he pretends like I don't poop. I mean, we all know everyone else poops.
ZOMG WIMMENS THEY CANNOT DO ANYTHING THAT IS NOT HOT IT IS UNSETTLING TO MEEEE
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/08/09
04/07/09
I'll start:
That I'll happily watch that awful, bloody mixed martial arts crap on Spike TV you love so much because I lurve me some tattooed, muscle-dude eye candy... But I'll still wrangle the laptop away from you when it's on because that's "your" show, so me getting the computer is only fair.
04/07/09
Then again, when we both have computers, we have to determine who is actually doing work and who is only dicking around, and the nuances come in, and it's all very complicated.
04/07/09
10 things real men (not cosmo stereotypes) wish you knew:
1)We are all individuals, and if there is something that we feel you should know about us personally we'll tell you, it's call communication, we hope you'll do the same.
2) See number 1
3) See number 1
4) See number 1
5) See number 1
6) See number 1
7) See number 1
8) See number 1
9) See number 1
10) See number 1
04/07/09
What a simple, yet apparently difficult-to-grasp concept.
04/07/09
Then again, you can pry my kohl eyeliner from my cold dead hands, so good luck to any and all future suitors who dislike the stuff.
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
we do not want to hear any comments about our purses. If we choose to carry a large bag, do not comment, "what do you have in there, rocks?" And if we decide a smaller bag is more convenient, do not exclaim, "why don't you just carry a bigger purse? You can't fit everything in that." Either way, STFW.
Sincerely,
Women
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
And i don;t mean if he happens to be in the general vicinity, but if it just lingers about when we're walking in the street or something.
Also, for #9 - taking a shower will help your quest for BJs. Trust.
04/07/09
04/07/09
04/07/09
THIS DRIVES ME INSANE. Like "Kill the wabbit", Brunhilde helmet, Viking attack insane. I went off a few days ago on my bff's bf's annoying friend who was unlucky enough to spout this nonsense within hearing distance of me. I went berserker on his ass, and I'm pretty sure poor bf's friends all think I'm a feminazi bonerkiller.
04/07/09
04/07/09
We know that you prefer to live in a state of denial when it comes to women's bodily functions or the functions of their body parts beyond the realm of sex. We wish you knew that women can actually be interesting and worthwhile while still wearing a bra and despite the fact that we poop. We know this, and now you do too.
Sincerely,
scandalouskiki
04/07/09
04/07/09
You all think this is your best kept secret but we know that when you suck our nipples that's more for you than for us. Which is cool, we don't begrudge you any pleasure, but don't think we think it's a selfless act of foreplay. And for fuck's sake do not do it for too long because nipples are sensitive and we will start oh-so-subtly guiding your heads down to our respective crotches. We can play that game too.
Love,
Boobs