Extreme, off-the-charts creep factor aside, I laughed my tits off at the "one of these things is not like the other" randomly placed baby monkey. And now back to the creep factor.....Oh my God did anyone else read Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs? And particularly enjoy the part when he and his boyfriend stayed at the B&B and the place was crawling with dolls and they were both absolutely horrified? It was hysterically funny, but also showed the doll dichotomy: You're either a doll person who collects and names and talks to your dolls, or you're the type who'd sooner take a flying leap from a window than stay in a room that had dolls in it. Watching you with their beady, glassy, judgey omnipotent eyes. Eyes that blink veeerrryyy slowly. And their stiff little bodies that will march silently to your bedside while you sleep, and peer over the edge of the bed, and you'll wake up suddenly not knowing what startled you. And you'll scan the room, your eyes wide with fright, and all the dolls will be in their places....except one. The one that looks like a little shepherd boy, with a little staff and cap, will be standing just a little to the left of where he was when you lay down. So until dawn, you will lay motionless beneath the covers, eyes screwed tightly shut, until the slightest noise causes them to fly open. You'll hurriedly dress early the next morning and gather your things and make for the door. Once you've said, Bye, Scary Aunt Meredith!! Thanks for letting me spend the night!! No, can't stay for breakfast, but thanks!! call you when I get home!!, you breathe a sigh of relief. You arrive home and go about your busy day, the dolls forgotten. Later that evening, you're chatting on the phone with your friend as you unpack your overnight bag, and as you start to unzip it, you feel a quick movement from within the bag. You scream and drop the phone, your hands to your face, and watch with abject horror as the little shepherd boy climbs stiffly out of the bag. He has a new smile on his face and his staff is gone. In it's place is an ice pick. He approaches you, slowly, his glassy eyes glowing with malice. Your scream is cut short by the ice pick as it sinks into your neck. No one ever really knows what happened, and the doll is never seen again.
Okay, I just checked out the Heaven's Light Nursery website and I must warn you: the first two images made me almost scream right in the middle of the office:
My mother used to get this magazine, though when I remember looking at it, it wasn't this thoroughly creepy. She usually needed it to order parts for the mechanical figurines she would dress.
Don't talk to me about scary dolls until you've had sixteen armature-bearing, glass-eyed, bald smiling gnomes living in your basement.
Anyone notice that this Ebberling woman's comments about her doll-making sounds strangely like the letter about Trig excerpted in the piece on Sarah Palin...? I'm just sayin'.
I seem to remember seeing a documentary or something where a woman actually spoke to and treated a baby doll like a real baby...she couldn't have kids or something. Does anyone remember this?
These doll people seem to have some kind of weird obsession with premature babies, like being so tiny and vulnerable makes them somehow more attractive. I noticed that on some other link that was posted on Jezebel about crazy lookalike dolls. It made me think of how Cabbage Patch dolls had a line of preemies years ago. I just think there's something a bit sad about idealizing a child for being tiny and delicate when in fact they are potentially in great danger because they were born prematurely.
"As I work closely with my own lawyer, I feel the culmination of a TwinStar lawsuit. I am making a statement as it is revealed to me in a very profound way: I did NOT intend to make Akira Rose in the image of Mary Kate Olson OR Ashley Olson."
I can understand having a fixtion about a doll you have had ever since a small child but not one you buy as an adult. The idea of dolls coming to lofe has long been a staple of children's literature. I have only ever had one dream about my toys coming to life. In it I caught them smoking and playng poker. I was ten at the time.
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of course, it IS my fault for never having gotten married and knocked up ahem
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The End.
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[heavens-light-nursery.com] (too lazy to do html-ing)
Also, there's disturbingly realistic baby peen. My inner 12-year-old boy cannot contain. So that may make it NSFW.
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Also, I can't help but to think someone could play a cruel joke on someone else by swapping a real newborn with one of these dolls...
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Don't talk to me about scary dolls until you've had sixteen armature-bearing, glass-eyed, bald smiling gnomes living in your basement.
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"As I work closely with my own lawyer, I feel the culmination of a TwinStar lawsuit. I am making a statement as it is revealed to me in a very profound way: I did NOT intend to make Akira Rose in the image of Mary Kate Olson OR Ashley Olson."
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my week cannot improve after reading that, a sentiment which has brought joy to the universe.
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And I'm not even pregnant!
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