Jezebel
Immaculate deceptions
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Immaculate deceptions
the jezebel diet
4 Ways To Get Your Kids To Eat Healthy Without Giving Them Eating Disorders
Yesterday's post equating Barack Obama embarrassing his daughter Malia with his firm handshakes of her ten-year-old peers with my dad's own litany of mortifyingly weird habits alerted me to another unexploited parallel between my parents and the Obamas: Michelle Obama's control over Malia's caloric intake as told to (and invariably overemphasized in) a recent issue of US Weekly. Now, I don't have the issue, but the blogs explain that Michelle used to save time by sending the kids to school with Lunchables, but she cut back on the processed foods when Malia's pediatrician warned her she was "tipping the scale." Now, I'm only taking on this topic because we clearly don't cover body issues enough on this site, but…here we go: it is summer, the season of funnel cake and deep-dish lethargy, and I think the moms of this world need to feel safe tempering kids' voracious high-fructose corn syrup appetites without worrying their subtle nods toward the whole-grain fiber-rich persuasions will later manifest themselves as Scars For Life. As a Veteran of Eating Disorders that had absolutely Nothing To Do With My Mom, I think I'm uniquely qualified to offer some advice. More »
critical mass
The Baby Borrowers Shows Dumb Teens That Parenting Is Hard
It sure seems like a lot of teens are getting pregnant these days, and seeing pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears cheerfully roaming around Wal-Mart isn't really sending a message that baby-raisin' is hard to do. Seeing an education possibility (and by "education" we mean "ratings and profit") in this new "trend," NBC has created a reality TV show, The Baby Borrowers, based on a BBC program in the UK. The show follows five couples in their late-teens, all of "varying social and ethnic backgrounds", who want to experience the process of raising a child. Each week, the couples are given a new person to care for, ranging from infant to old person, and a major message is communicated: parenting is really hard! But did we need a TV show to tell us that? The critics weigh in, after the jump. More »
transamerica
Parents Of Transgender Boys Take Different, Provocative Paths
There is a fascinating story up on NPR's website about two little boys who wish they were girls, and the different approaches their parents are taking in dealing with their gender confusion. Basically from birth, both Bradley and Jonah favored girl things. Bradley wanted to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween when he was 2 1/2, and insisted on wearing his Dorothy hair (made out of a tea towel) for months after; Jonah, according to NPR, "was 2 when his father, Joel, first realized that no amount of enthusiasm could persuade his child to play with balls." (Heh, balls.) But seriously, folks. Both these boys wanted to be little girls pretty much from the moment they could express the desire, and while Bradley's parents have tried to force him out of it — by taking away his Polly Pockets and Barbies and encouraging interaction with other boys — Jonah's parents have allowed him to embrace his desires. At this point, Jonah's parents refer to him as "she", and she herself tells people her name is Jona. More »
parenting blows
Why You Should Lie To Your Kids About Everything You Did In High School
When I was sixteen, my mom confessed to me she'd had PREMARITAL SEX. Why I had not assumed she'd had premarital sex when I knew both that she had dated my dad for seven years before they got married and that they still, judging from the Price Club value pack of Trojans underneath the hairdryer in her bathroom, were having sex, basically just speaks to my total cluelessness, and their success in hiding from me the morally degenerative nature of my genes. I had no idea at that point that I would be a drunk, for instance. But I did, upon hearing my mom tell me how, honey, my roommates and I went and got the Pill together... begin to entertain the notion that I might one day be a slut. Remarkably, the thought had never before crossed my mind. Which is all a long way of expressing my opinion on the central question of yesterday's Washington Post Magazine cover story: "If you cop to something, anything, will this give your children tacit permission to try it all? Remarkably few — if any — researchers have explored this topic." More »
parent traps
Which One Of The Five Types Of Moms Do You Have?
Are you ready for a moment of Freud? We're going to talk about your mother. You love her, obviously. But sometimes she drives you crazy, embarrasses you or says something so insane you question whether you're related to her at all. Maybe sometimes you hate her. But, according a new book by clinical psychologist Stephan B. Poulter, your bond with your mother has a huge impact on your life and your unconscious and totally influences how you form adult relationships. You're thinking, well, just like we're all different people, there are many different kinds of mothers, right? Wrong! According to Dr. Poulter, there are only five types of mothers: More »
maghag
Parenting Author, Childless Woman Weigh In On Baby Couture
Behold Baby Couture, the snotty new magazine with the slogan, "We put the 'coo' in couture." Poor, poor rich mommies! They've always wanted a publication they can call their own, that's filled with overpriced items perfect for pampering their spawn — and clearly not for mere commoners who shop at Babies R Us. Baby Couture delivers. I've got no kids of my own, so I asked Pamela Paul, mother-of-two and author of the new book Parenting, Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers — and What It Means for Our Children for some insight. After the jump, Pamela and I give gut-reaction impressions to pages of the magazine. More »
fetal positions
Forget Boner-Killing Bloody Vaginas: Childbirth Can Make Men Mentally-Ill
"Why Men Should NEVER Be At The Birth Of Their Child" blares the headline in today's Daily Mail. But if you assume that the accompanying story immediately launches into an appeal for a return to "modesty" and warnings about how witnessing childbirth can kill a man's libido, you'd be wrong. (That crops up in the third part of the piece!) Nope, Reason No. 1 that men should be banished to birthing ward waiting areas is that their pregnant partners can't multitask. "A labouring woman needs to be protected against any stimulation of the thinking part of her brain - the neocortex - for labour to proceed with any degree of ease," writes Ob/Gyn Michel Odent, who is said to have presided over some 50,000 births. "A woman in labour needs to be in a private world where she doesn't have to think or talk. Yet, motivated by a desire to 'share the experience', the man asks questions and offers words of reassurance and advice." The other bad thing about inviting big boys in the birthing room? Witnessing such a thing can make them mentally-ill. More »
A national study co-sponsored by the CDC shows that 1 in 50 newborns is a victim of non-fatal abuse or neglect. David Finkelhor, the director of the Crimes against Children Research Center, tells the AP that the statistics suggest that families without health insurance are not getting satisfactory care for their children. "It's not primarily kids being hit, but parents showing signs of not being able to really care for their kids," Finkelhor says. Only about 13% of the cases of abuse and neglect were outright physical harm, the study showed. Some politicians have suggested the creation of federally-funded parenting classes, but would people like Tracey Hermann and James Sargent — the couple whose baby died after they left him alone in his crib for eight days without food — even take the classes in the first place? [ Breitbart]
mama drama
Your Toddler's Temper Tantrum Is Totes Not Your Fault
I vividly remember Judd Apatow's Slate diary from two years ago in which he described his 2-year-old daughter Iris's meltdown at a mall, because it so epitomizes what it's like to be around a toddler. "Iris had such a knipshit (as we used to say) — a total meltdown — that I thought I was going to get arrested by cops who thought that I had kidnapped her. All I did was tell her that we already owned Shrek when she asked if we could buy it. Sometimes that is all it takes. She sat down in the video store and screamed at me, 'Get out of the store!' about 50 times." It goes on from there, but Apatow's vignette proves what any toddler-wrangler already knows: they're all little stinkers. More »
http://babble.com/content/articles/features/dispatches/rayworth/economics-of-parenthood/
Nip That Frown Upside Down's
It's been pretty well-documented that no one wants a baby with Down's Syndrome. But for most parents, it's a question of raising a kid whose impaired mental aptitude will be a lifelong handicap. Not Laurence and Chelsea Kirwan! They're more concerned about holding back the desire to give their kid an eye job. Laurence, you see, suffers from the "curse of the plastic surgeon": "he is unable to look at a person without 'mentally improving their face' in his mind's eye," says his wife. [Daily Mail]
It's been pretty well-documented that no one wants a baby with Down's Syndrome. But for most parents, it's a question of raising a kid whose impaired mental aptitude will be a lifelong handicap. Not Laurence and Chelsea Kirwan! They're more concerned about holding back the desire to give their kid an eye job. Laurence, you see, suffers from the "curse of the plastic surgeon": "he is unable to look at a person without 'mentally improving their face' in his mind's eye," says his wife. [Daily Mail]
the parent trap
Regretting Motherhood: Not Every Woman Wants Rugrats
"Women who regret having children are the silent minority," writes Lucy Beresford in the Times of London. Beresford is a writer and psychotherapist who says that not all women are cut out to be mothers. "Many go ahead with pregnancy," she writes, "hoping that ambivalence will be annihilated during labor by a love-bomb of hormones." Vicki Glembocki may be one of those women. Her book, The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth About Becoming a Mom. Finally. is excerpted on Salon. "Wasn't that whole maternal-instinct thing supposed to stick around after that first night in the hospital?" she writes. "Wasn't some maternal gene supposed to switch on and keep me all stoned on bliss and beaming at this child like she is pure light? ... I'm terrified, really. Terrified that [my husband] and I have made a horrible, terrible mistake by having this baby." More »
"There's an old joke about that: You know why Baptists don't engage in premarital sex? Because it might lead to dancing." That's Christian comedienne and new Good Morning America contributor Anita Renfroe, profiled in yesterday's New York Times Magazine in one of those perennial "Christians: maybe if we keep promising our blue state readers that some of them are seemingly uninsane, otherwise normal people, a few of them will return the favor in November in some key swing states?" pieces. Renfroe rose to mainstream prominence over a wildly popular YouTube production called "William Tell Momsense." It is a work of impressive speed and length that it makes me feel weirdly culturally alienated to admit I've never seen. On the other hand, I'm sort of glad my mom didn't email it to me anyway. [NYT]
kids today
Are Only Children Really More Neurotic?
In a story in today's Washington Post, Marcia Katz writes about what it's like to be the parent of one child. There's a stigma against single children: In the 1930s, psychologist G. Stanley Hall called the only child "a disease in itself." You'll hear that only children are self-centered, lonely, maladjusted (or, argues Katz, are they just self-confident, independent, accomplished?) What really concerns Katz, however, is how people treat her as the mother of an only child. "The sociable woman at the checkout stares," she writes. "'So,' she finally asks, 'you only have the one child?'" Katz claims that people see her as "inadequate or selfish." And the backhanded compliments keep on coming: Katz' son's teacher swears he doesn't "act" like an only child. And her friends point out that her son is not selfish and spoiled. And as she makes every attempt to convince us that her son is "normal," Katz succeeds in proving that she is the one with serious neuroses. More »
Today the WSJ brings us the real reason Clinton campaign chair Patti Solis Doyle stepped down. "She recently returned home after two months on the road to find a family accustomed to her absence... When her 6-year-old son cried out one night recently, he rebuffed his mom, saying, 'I want Daddy.' Ms. Solis Doyle flew out of the room in tears and told her husband: 'Joey doesn't want me. S- this campaign, I'm quitting.'" But wait, isn't that what every working mom wants in a husband? Life is so hard.[WSJ]
liars and the lying liars who raise them
Are Parents Who Say They Want "Honest" Kids Lying To Themselves?
Parents want kids who don't lie. They want kids who don't lie, they say, more than kids with good judgment, confidence, whatever. But that is a big fat lie, says the cover story of the latest New York Magazine, because modern parents are such prolific liars they can't even tell the difference been lying and truth half the time. The truth is that kids don't want to lie, but they often see lying as a way to avoid an argument. And while kids who argue a lot with their parents tend to think those arguments strengthen their bonds, parents tend to be oblivious to this and worry instead that all the arguing is actually weakening their bonds, which may mean the liars are simply more sensitive to their parents' feelings, which would explain why lies you told when you were six or seven still haunt you whereas the 74 times you told your mom you were "going to a movie" in high school...ha ha ha, how can you even feel guilty when the truth was something even more boring involving Boone's wine coolers? More »
perils of parenting
