Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we honestly cannot take any precious time to write a satisfactory introduction because there is something super important we need to discuss. This week, Tom is leaving his church, Jennifer Aniston is preg, and the best story of all time.
Someone made a horrifically disturbing and possibly parodic video about Donald Trump, one that very effectively paints him as the harbinger of our imminent plunge into a violent, authoritarian, dystopian future. So of course Donald Trump has enthusiastically retweeted it, because obviously the videomaker really gets…
Today is Super Tuesday, in which a bunch of states have their primaries, and where traditionally, whoever wins big tends to take their party’s nomination. Hahahaha. Remember when we all said Trump was definitely not going to be nominee? Remember those sweet and innocent times?
Today in things the Internet is arguing about, Killer Mike, rapper and Bernie Sanders mega-supporter, is fielding lots of criticism for quoting a feminist scholar who he says told him, “A uterus doesn’t qualify you to be president of the United States. You have to have policy that’s reflective of social justice.”…
George W. Bush is out on the campaign trail stumping for Jeb, a development that definitely does not give us chilling flashbacks and stress diarrhea. Last night they went on Fox News together, where Sean Hannity beamed at them with delight and W. joyfully mangled the English language as though not a single day had…
It’s always a little frustrating when you have a great, great idea for a funny joke and someone beats you to the punch. That’s how we felt waking up this morning to see that someone else had already stolen our idea for a campaign against “mancriminating.” Dammit. That thunking noise you hear is the entire Jezebel…
On Thursday, we asked you to show us your grimmest sexts, and dear God, did you deliver. You’ve been on the receiving end of some horrifyingly unsexy propositions, sent some truly unsuccessful innuendos, participated in some conversations that just, on the whole, make our nether regions shrivel into the driest of dust…
Earlier this week, with great reluctance and no small amount of personal shame, we shared some of the highlights of a Reddit thread devoted to ladies swapping stories about having carnal relations with famous musicians. The comments of that post quickly became a veritable sex swamp. You people and your…
I worked hard, I tried to be a good person, I mostly failed, but the good Lord has chosen to reward me nonetheless: you can now buy a Thin Mint-flavored ice cream bar. It is available everywhere Good Humor products are sold, or it will be until I buy them all. Jesus Christ. This is the best fucking day of my life.…
Caption This: Tom Hardy and Zora the dog attend 'The Drop' New York Premiere at Sunshine Cinema on September 8, 2014 in New York City.
A Swedish couple is making international headlines after witnessing the slow, agonizing death of a 16-inch rat that a trap could not kill. A SIXTEEN INCH RAT THAT A TRAP COULD NOT KILL. CUNTING SHIT GUYS. GREAT BOUNCING CHRISTBALLS. I'M GOING TO FAINT.
A single woman who was fired by her Catholic school employer after announcing she was pregnant via artificial insemination says she doesn't regret her decision to pursue motherhood, even though she still hasn't found a new job. She does, however, plan on continuing to sue their holy roller asses.
