Jezebel 
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New York, 3:30 AM
Sun Nov 8
22 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/08/09
10/08/09
That's so depressing.
I've asked a friend who identifies as libertarian before, if the (American) government should provide money to poor mothers and parents who cannot afford to support their children without food stamps, or welfare, and he says that if you can't afford kids, you shouldn't have them. Which ironically means he thinks the government should step in and take the kids away. However, he realizes that it would then take money to fund the foster system to take these kids in. He's fine with that, and would prefer that we pay money to keep kids in the foster system, than with parents who don't "deserve" the kids, because they are too poor. In other words, we shouldn't pay people to parent their own kids, we should pay other people to parent the kids, regardless of how harmful it is to the kids. I think a lot of people have these judgments against poor parents and single moms on welfare, even in America.
10/08/09
Young people often live with their parents until they're married, so they have nowhere to go get laid really -- hence the love motels and lots of cars parked on select riverside areas at night time. Birth control still isn't practiced widely enough (guys don't want to use rubber, girls don't know what their options are and where they can get'em). The social perception of "going against the norm" is of course a huge problem as well, but I think there really needs to be more awareness about sex and protection.
10/08/09
I have a weird conflict here though, because I wouldn't have my son if things were different.
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10/08/09
By the way, just want to say I really admire you for providing a family and home for your son. I am one of those annoying, nationalistic people that loves to discuss anything Korean... and the number of kids given up for adoption there is really sad. My mother did a couple of trips to the U.S. in the early 80s to 'deliver' adopted kids, as sort of a side job, and she says she still thinks about those kids and what would have happened to them if they hadn't been able to find a family. She was pregnant with me at the time, so it really stayed with her.
10/08/09
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10/08/09
I'd like my scarlet letter now, thank you.
10/08/09
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10/08/09
I think your friend's niece's actions can be judged on their own as being very short-sighted, and I don't know if a stigma against teen parenthood (which I think exists already anyway) really would have changed her mind. It certainly won't help her now that she has a child. Hopefully your friend is looking forward to being a great-aunt, because it sounds like that kid might need it.
10/08/09
10/08/09
10/08/09
I'm not saying adoption's the way to go for everyone. I think women should get to choose what happens when they're pregnant, whether it's abortion, adoption or keeping their child. But opting for adoption isn't throwing away children.
10/08/09
But yes I certainly agree that giving a child up for adoption is giving a child a chance to a better life.
10/08/09
either way, it's a pretty heartbreaking statement.
10/08/09
10/08/09
It's almost hard to imagine that kind of thing goes on in the 21st century.
10/08/09
"Chang Ji-young, 27, who gave birth to a boy last month, said: "My former boyfriend’s sister screamed at me over the phone demanding that I get an abortion. His mother and sister said it was up to them to decide what to do with my baby because it was their family’s seed.""
Yikes.
10/08/09
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10/08/09
Families with deadbeat dad sons sometimes move and change their numbers to avoid them. Deadbeat dads often lie about their marital status for fear they will be evicted by landlords and their children ostracized at school. Only about a quarter of South Koreans are willing to have a close relationship with a deadbeat dad as a coworker or neighbor, according to a recent survey by the government-financed Korean Women's Development Institute.
10/08/09
DID YOU HEAR THAT JON GOSSELIN???
10/08/09
What about the men who got these unwed mothers pregnant?
10/08/09
This is close to home because my mom is Korean and my dad is American (white). She let my dad bring me to the US (she stayed behind) when I was 2, because she thought I'd have a better life in America because my dad was white (because, as we ALL know...white Americans are ALL rich and pretty much superior to the rest of the world, right? Right?) At any rate...I didn't meet her until I was 20 and when I did - she had been disowned by her entire family for having AND keeping my half-sister who was not only 'illegitimate', but black as well. TWO big 'no-no's' in S. Korea.
Add effed up as my childhood was in the US, I STILL had it better than I presume it would have been in S.Korea. And, I was in foster care at one point, so that's saying a lot.
Something else? When I met her and her friends in korea, every single one of her friends (and, I do not exaggerate when I say EVERY SINGLE ONE) had given up their children for adoption to the US, for the same reasons.
Heartbreaking.
10/08/09
10/08/09
WOW. This is illuminating and distressing. Thanks for sharing!
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10/06/09
Simply getting married and having kids does not make one an adult. Enjoying activities that you don't get (like video games or blogging) does not make one an adolescent. And most importantly, being an educated and employed person who doesn't immediately also step into married life and parenthood does NOT make one an adolescent!
10/06/09
To borrow a bit from SNL: "REALLY?"