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MeetJoMarch
10/06/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
Here's a particularly juicy story...

As the groom, I planned 80-90% of our wedding and had a wedding with 150+ people for under 10k total cost for everything. All told, it took me about two-three weeks.
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MeetJoMarch
10/06/09

@MeetJoMarch: And I'm still signed in under the distinctively feminine account my wife uses. Sigh. I promise I'm a man, anyhow.
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Dancingfrog
10/06/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
Wow, a lot of people take themselves much too seriously. You know what? You don't want to do traditional things or non-traditional things at your wedding - fine. But making blanket negative statements about other people who are choosing to do things out of their own free will, and not forcing anyone else to join in, and are not hurting anyone, is what is really tacky. To each their own wedding.

I like to flip through bridal magazines because they often have photos with beautiful colour combinations and dresses. Sure, they're not for everyone. Sure, they can be tacky and cheesy. Sure, it's hard to take them seriously. But acting like you're so superior because you were unable to find any inspiration at all from any bridal magazine and instead got all your ideas from zombie movies or CSI or Mad Men or whatever and that makes you original is just silly. People get inspiration from all sorts of sources. Please, can't we just each allow everyone to have their own wedding without considering them a bad person? (even if we do consider their wedding tacky or cheesy or corny or weird)
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cassandradancer
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
I'm getting married on Halloween. No bouquet toss...I don't even have a bouquet. No garter thing, which I find gross and tacky and no money dance. We're all getting dressed up in 1930s glam outfits and doing the 'Gold Room' theme from the Shining.

Bridal magazines appealed to me when I was a teenager, now I find them laughable. 'How to best pick your China'....Seriously. Fuck off.
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lucystrawberry: Tier 2 is the new black
10/05/09

@cassandradancer: Okay, having a theme taken from a horror movie for a wedding? You are my new hero!
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sorry, again
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
The Money Dance is a cultural tradition that started in Poland, and has since become a staple of Mexican and Filipino weddings. Maybe it's strange to you, but playfully sending off a bride and groom with cash for their honeymoon is a gesture of good-will. Calling it dreadful and tacky, and making it known how uncomfortable it is makes you look like a xenophobe. It's people dancing around, making funny hats and flowers and crap out of dollar bills. Chill out.
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pileofmonkeys
10/05/09

@sorry, again: I do find it tacky, and I really don't think I'm a xenophobe, mostly because none of the ten zillion weddings I've been to have any of the ethnic ties that the tradition seems to have stemmed from. I feel the same way about "greenback" showers ("Don't bring gifts- bring cash!"). I find that the blatant money-grubbing that accompanies many weddings is cringe-worthy.

That said, I find most wedding traditions tacky- to the point where my own wedding was virtually unrecognizable as one if not for the vows and the much fancier than I would normally wear dress. No chicken dance, no cash bar, no garter or bouquet toss, no clinking glasses, none of that appealed to me. When I'm at someone else's wedding, though, I respect that their tastes and traditions may vary wildly from my own, and I celebrate with them in the spirit they'd like. Up to and including giving money for a "money dance," leaving my opinions in my own head since it's not my damn wedding.
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sorry, again
10/05/09

@pileofmonkeys: I hear you. I was reacting to some of the negative comments as a participant in numerous (mexican, catholic) family weddings that include the dollar dance. I saw it a cultural imperative, as opposed to a matter of taste.

I don't want to say "It's only tacky if white people do it because for THEM it's only about money" because at the end of the day, all aspects of any wedding come down to a matter of taste.
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Ri_L
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
As a bride-to-be who's spent most of her wedding planning time sitting on her ass, I've found bridal magazines to be baffling and extremely unhelpful. They just... they don't tell you anything. They don't say "you ought to do this by this date", or "here's how to pick out wedding colors you might actually like", or anything remotely useful. They just parade a bunch of dead-eyed models in front of you in ridiculous and ugly dresses and fill the rest with ads. And when all you want to know is how to start planning a honeymoon and all they offer is cutesy photoessays of the same bland tropical islands all the cool kids apparently go to that you couldn't afford and don't want to visit anyway. NOT. HELPING.

I regret spending even five dollars on one magazine that I thought might show me some attractive bridesmaid-dress styles. I'll just go talk to my mom and my cousin's wife, they've actually done it and are far more helpful than these glorified ladymags.

...okay rant over :(
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Hana Maru
10/05/09

@Ri_L: I concur on their total and utter uselessness. What was helpful to me was a local bridal magazine for info on local businesses and locations. Plus they are often free or cheap.

And I looked at Oscar fashions for dress ideas because I had mine made for me. If you're going to buy one off the rack, just go shopping to some local shops(NOT David's Bridal)
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Edited by Hana Maru at 10/05/09 5:22 PM Hana Maru was starred Hana Maru was unstarred

stew
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
Ever been to a wedding with a "money dance"? I was living with my ex and he casually mentioned a money dance and I was like SAY WHAT? He casually calculated how much "our" money dance would bring, and I not-so-casually calculated how many days I had to hang in there before DUMPING HIM. Which I then did.
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PinkSoxHat
10/05/09

@stew: Yes! And I felt icky the whole time. I was mortified for the couple, but I don't think they shared my embarassment.
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LaComtesse
10/05/09

@stew: @PinkSoxHat: I think it's dreadful, but for many people it's a cultural thing (Polish, I believe). Maybe some people who saw me and my family dance the tarantella was tacky/cheesy, but I was an Italian bride and there was no way I was going to ignore the tradition. (I ignored many, many others.) Moreover, my guests never would have gotten over it.
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Edited by LaComtesse at 10/05/09 4:53 PM LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

stew
10/05/09

@PinkSoxHat: I'm all, for, like, an ironic chocolate fountain or a happy round of Hokey Pokey. But your relatives thinking I will be publicly handed envelopes of money as I dance around? EFF THAT.

(Incidentally, this is not why I am still single. That's still attributable to my crappy personality.)
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stew
10/05/09

@LaComtesse: I would totally dance for pierogies.
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hamburgerhotdog
10/05/09

@stew: Is it a Midwestern thing? I recently went to a cousin's wedding and they were doing some sort of 'buck a dance' thing, but they also had a cash bar so I couldn't figure out if it was a local thing or they were just really tacky...or, probably both?
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dragonian_angel
10/05/09

@hamburgerhotdog: [en.wikipedia.org]

I've never heard of it before, and I hope I'll never have to go to a wedding where this is put on. It seems really tacky to me.
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hamburgerhotdog
10/05/09

@dragonian_angel: she was shoving the dollar bills down her strapless dress since she didn't have any pockets - which just made it all the worse!
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ElleL
10/05/09

@stew: The Bridal Dance! I've been to a few with them this year. You pay, they have a platter of shots, and you dance.
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Le Kangourou de Kataroo
10/05/09

@stew: My family's polish and my sister had a money dance at her wedding - I don't think she knew about it, but it wasn't a huge deal. It was actually nice because everyone got a chance to dance with both the bride and groom. I live in the south, so if everyone thought it were tacky everyone would have said something, but I never heard about it.
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LaComtesse
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?

I'll bet it went under because they weren't catering to edgy brides like this one...
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ElleL
10/05/09

@LaComtesse: Side note: Quentin recently said he is planning a third Kill Bill!
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messybessy
10/05/09

@LaComtesse: I'm totally photoshopping my face over Uma's and using this as my Save the Dates.
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richcreamerybutter
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
"City Hall Bride"...I would read this.
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
10/05/09

@richcreamerybutter: I was a "Cornfield County Courthouse Bride". We went to the diner across the street for pancakes after.
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futuremouse
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
I know that expression. That's the 'I just killed and devoured my fiance Jennifer's Body Style and now I am looking for new victims in my pretty innocent-seeming, recently bleached and dry-cleaned wedding dress' look.
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spcool
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
A friend of mine worked at Elegant Bride...that's the job she got after getting a MFA in Fiction Writing! I always thought that was just perfect!
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jemandtheholograms
10/05/09

@spcool: I am actually choking on my laughter.
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Copper
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
I seriously don't understand why stuff like this happens. I've been to a lot of weddings and never met a bride who was mean (whether directly/indirectly or on purpose/accidental) to her bridesmaids or anyone for that matter. I've also never seen any ugly bridesmaid dresses in real life.

Maybe I'm just lucky.

P.S. Bridal magazines are such rip-offs anyway.
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Maritsa promoted this comment Edited by Copper at 10/05/09 3:31 PM Copper was starred Copper was unstarred

Maritsa
10/05/09

@Copper: I've never personally experienced any of it, but my sister's sister-in-law did ask my sister not to get pregnant before her wedding (my sis was a bridesmaid) because it would mess up her pictures. So...yeah.

And I have seen ugly bridesmaid gowns, but none that were totally horrific.
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lorem oopsum
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
I find a sense of satisfaction that there will be one less wedding resource advertising awful strapless dresses that only look flattering on 5% of the population.
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RiloKilo
10/05/09

@lorem oopsum: Aaah, so true! Why are 90% of wedding dresses strapless? Strapless things look terrible on me, and it drives me craaaazy. Not that I actually have a wedding to plan for... but just thinking ahead...
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Phyllis Nefler
10/05/09

@RiloKilo: Completely agree. But even if you aren't planning your own wedding, you're vulnerable to all your friends and the strapless bridesmaids dresses they are going to inevitably pick! It's so brutal! I'm learning to embrace my armpit cleavage. No I'm not, but I'm going to have to.
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
10/05/09

@RiloKilo: I desperately wanted a dress with those little "sleeve-straps," but ended up ordering a non-wedding strapless dress from Bluefly.com anyway. It means I need to pump some iron a couple weeks before the wedding, despite vowing not to go on some pre-wedding diet or exercise plan. But my bridesmaids get to pick their own dresses, so at least I'm not inflicting this pain on anyone else?
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jemandtheholograms
10/05/09

@RiloKilo: This drives me crazy since for lots of people its a religious ceremony. It's not like I can can stand there in front of my rabbi in a sleeveless gown praying my A-cups keep holding the dress up!
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Flackette Goes Retro
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
Did they include the article "How to stick your single friends for pricey kitchenware (even though you don't cook) then make them stand up while the DJ plays 'Single Ladies' and they all pretend not to be pissed off that a key piece of wedding tradition is pointing out the unmarried folks via the bouquet toss"?
Sorry, just went to a wedding this weekend, in case you couldn't tell.
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MizJenkins
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: If there are cute guys at the wedding the bouquet toss can be key...I know so many people who met at weddings.

Personally, my last straw is congo lines.
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Flackette Goes Retro
10/05/09

@MizJenkins: Well, I was there with my boyfriend, so I was extra-incensed at having to stand up as one of only 3 adult women in a sea of preteen girls vying for the bouquet. Boyfriend point-blank refused to participate in the garter-toss. In both cases, pre-teen children caught the items, which I suppose means they have to marry each other.
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dreamweave
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: allow me to toot my own horn - our wedding had a no gifts, please, policy, no godforsaken bouquet toss, not even a "gather round while we cutesily feed each other cake". We had brownies on the buffet line.
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FattyCatty
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: I prefer articles like, "Bridesmaid Dresses: Butt Bows vs. Hoop Skirts."

And, do people still do the bouquet toss? Ugh, I'm so sorry.
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lucyjae
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: I'm so sorry. I had a wedding too, they didn't do the bouquet/garter toss, thank goodness. Although, I usually just stand towards the back with my drink in one hand, expecting to jump back and hiss if that thing comes anywhere near me.
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jessica.ann
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: If I ever get married I am going to refuse to do the bouquet toss. I have attended a few weddings in the past couple of years where they had all the married couples dance to a slow song, then the MC had those married less than 5 years stop dancing and sit down, then the couples married less than 10 years stop dancing and sit down, etc etc until the people married the longest are the only ones left dancing. WAY more charming and positive. The woman married the longest gets the bouquet and it is usually some ultra adorable little old lady looking like she just won the lottery.
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Maritsa promoted this comment Edited by jessica.ann at 10/05/09 3:41 PM jessica.ann was starred jessica.ann was unstarred

morninggloria
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: I told my parents this weekend that when I get married, I'm not having a priest (PEARL! CLUTCHING!) and that I'm asking all guests to donate to Planned Parenthood in lieu of gifts.

Their reaction was negative. Maybe I'll ask for Planned Parenthood donations in lieu of baby shower gifts instead.
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ambitious
10/05/09

@MizJenkins: As per some dudes I know with varying moral compasses, the woman who is hungriest for the bouquet is either officially outing herself as radioactive as a serious prospect (because she wants it NOW) or the one most likely to be targeted for post-reception hooking up (insert dying-alone-anxiety emoticon here).

I keeps myself out of the affair out of fear of falling down, thrown elbows or some other ass-showing disaster.
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Alys Brangwin has a huge talent
10/05/09

@dreamweave: That sounds nice, but as a guest I'd be pissed. I'm there for the cake and booze. And to celebrate your love, etc, but mostly I just want cake.
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formergr
10/05/09

@lucyjae: Ha, I love the hissing plan-- will have to remember that one!
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doodley is not amused
10/05/09

@lucyjae: My friend and I both did the "jump back and hiss" thing at another friend's wedding a few years ago. Unfortunately, we were the only single women in the room. It was a little awkward.
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Maritsa
10/05/09

@Flackette Goes Retro: My sis did a bouquet toss and her thrice-divorced mother-in-law fought over the bouquet. It was priceless.
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Edited by Maritsa at 10/05/09 4:30 PM Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

maybeimamazed02
10/05/09

@jessica.ann: I've been to at least one wedding where they did that, and it was adorable.

When one of my best friends got married, the bouquet toss found me, another of my best friends, and my sister standing as far back as we could get away with, drinks in hand. My friend the bride aimed the bouquet right at us just to piss us off (she was a great bride, by the way). Luckily, there were some way eager ladies who blocked us from the line of fire.
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Tart of Darkness
10/05/09

@Maritsa: No woman over 30 or so should participate in trying to catch the bouquet. Or maybe over 25.
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Dave J.
10/05/09

@jessica.ann: I did this as the best-man/MC at my brother's wedding. It worked out really well (and unplanned) in that the last three couples out there were the groom's parent, bride's parents, and bride's grandparents, who won. Apparently it was like the highlight of the grandmother's wife to have won this thing in front of all of her relatives who had flown in, it was really awesome.
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YankBoffin
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
I once talked with a guy in the industry who said that bridal mags are one of the most profitable in the industry. The key was that few people ever subscribe for more than a year, so they can re-run many of the same stories, tips, and idea article over and over every couple years.
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EdnasEdibles
10/05/09

@YankBoffin: Pregnancy mags are the same. I have one magazine with two different covers and it had the exact same information inside. Every article, every ad . . .
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La Chica Lucy
10/05/09

@YankBoffin: He's right. I write for our local rag's wedding quarterly. There is only so much you can write about weddings!
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funnyface
10/05/09

In reply to Something Blue: Are You A Formerly-Employed Bridal Mag Staffer?
Bumpit Bride here looks like she has a Waterford vase or two strapped to her thighs and maybe a couple engagement rings hidden in her bouquet. That's not a "smeyes" she's doing, it's "I'm soooo getting away with something."
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LAmonkeygirl
10/05/09

@funnyface: "I've got a whole set of All Clad pans in my bodice."
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funnyface
10/05/09

@LAmonkeygirl: Maybe even a Le Creuset hidden under her bustle!
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hortense
10/05/09

@funnyface: She's like Ursula in The Little Mermaid, when she took Ariel's voice and tried to steal Prince Eric away.
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funnyface
10/05/09

@hortense: Wow, you totally nailed the look in her eyes. Look out, Prince Eric! She's an impostor!
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morninggloria
10/05/09

@funnyface: I'm pregnant with the best man's baby!
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funnyface
10/05/09

@morninggloria: He thinks I signed the pre-nup. I didn't!
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hydrogen_jukebox
10/05/09

@hortense: That nautilus-like necklace was not just a coincidence, then.
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WaltzingMatilda
10/05/09

@funnyface: She's got the "I will cut a bitch for trying to one-up me ON MY SPECIAL DAY. So back the F OFF, MOM!" look. I've seen it in the wild. Ain't pretty.
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