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Posts Tagged “

military industrial complex

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crappy hour

Really Important Debate: Does Barack Obama Bowling Like A Fag Mean He Is One?

Americans! We are not exactly not known for excess! But on this, the first of April, perhaps it is time to start a national IM dialogue on whether we have finally somewhat overdosed on the absurdity! For instance, the government is supposed to spend $1.6 trillion on weapons with names borrowed from the Twilight Zone and the financial system is supposed to be $1 trillion in debt, most likely thanks to "partnerships" named for Star Wars creatures and added to the $9 trillion we already have that is ...already a comically large sum of money we are going to borrow a bunch of money to pay back... some people are calling it the Great Depression...and yet the stock futures! They are looking hopeful! Food stamps are more popular than ever in the history of food stamps and yet people are still so sapped for new forms of escapism that they played the I.O. Digital Cable commercial twice in the course of one Crappy Hour! Oh yes, and Obama is too "dainty" for bowling! Not that anyone goes bowling ever. Glamocracy's Megan Carpentier and I discuss all that and Paula Abdul and Deborah Gibson and Atlantic City and many many more muddled metaphors for our hilarious joke of a world, ha ha. More »

10:00 AM on Tue Apr 1 2008
By Moe
5,490 views, 210 comments

Latest by MadameOvary: Crappiest CH evah. AW also gave that article as an address to Emory University, seems to make more sense that way. The comments at that link were pretty vile! So, is Bjork still permitted? Because I know her and she more »

crappy hour

And The $300 Million Defense Contract Goes To...The 22-Year-Old Abusive Boyfriend Who Never Had A Job!

Do you ever wonder, where do the weapons our Pentagon is buying to supply the Afghan counterinsurgency actually come from? Well, duh, China, but, let's start over. Meet Efraim Diveroli. He has some sort of $300 million Pentagon contract to supply ammunition to the government. He also has: never had a real job, a drinking problem, a woman with a restraining order against him, a beautiful headquarters in the heart of Miami Beach, a 25-year-old VP whose only certification in anything is that he is a licensed masseur, and wiretaps of him talking about bribing the Albanian defense department by sending him whores. And all of this makes sense because Efraim Diveroli is 22 YEARS OLD. Yeah, we talked about our allies in Pakistan and John McCain, Chelsea Clinton and that douchebag who asked her about Monica, polling data, where that Bosnia story really came from, Donald Trump, corporate profits and our hangovers — oh and don't miss the riveting discussion of our Facebook horoscopes and Diddy and Tupac— but shit gets really epic when Glamocracy's Megan and I get down to...which under-25 year old Israeli mob arms dealer we'd rather get down with! Jump. More »

10:00 AM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Moe
13,076 views, 151 comments

Latest by That_little_attention_whore: @thefrontpage: LOL @ Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium. Seriously tho - love Natalie's hair in that movie. Thinking of getting mine cut like that. (Now it's a bit more Posh Spice. Yeah, that's right, I have a Posh Spice hair cut and more »

that's so jane's

Why Our Government Has Become Like Rock of Love

Why are so many idiots fighting our wars? Is there possibly an analogy to be drawn between the state of our government and the state of television, with Blackwater staffed by a bunch of rejects from I Love New York and the State Department by a bunch of embittered picketing Daily Show writers (only the strike has lasted seven whole years)? Well, that's probably a stretch. But we try valiantly to advance the metaphor in today's installment of the much-missed feature "That's So Jane's!" — in which we trick an unsuspecting expert on the world's military conflicts into granting an interview for Jane magazine, which he will never know is now defunct because he thinks he's talking to Jane's Defence Weekly. For this special edition, reporter Megan Carpentier talked face-to-face with a mercenary himself! (Well, actually just a weapons expert working at the Pentagon.) He thinks the military needs to be more like Dancing With The Stars. After the jump, of course. More »

2:00 PM on Mon Feb 25 2008
3,234 views, 78 comments

Latest by rantersparadise: @bigleggedwoman: Please, I'm heading my very embarressed head in shame. I should've known better-silly me! :( more »