Tell your stupid assistant superintendent that he's 15 years behind the times. I took my girlfriend to prom in 1994. The seas did not boil, the earth did not quake, and society did not instantly crumble. A couple of guys came out of the closet a year later, but I'm pretty sure that would have happened anyway.
Don't back down. Prom is silly, overrated, and damn important in this society.
That condom story already had me cringing, but when I got to the part that they were packaged by shirtless men without being sterilized, just....ewww!
I'm guessing the men where shirtless due to it being hot (likely terrible conditions to work in), so I'm picturing them dripping sweat onto the condoms as they are being packaged. Yuck... #condoms
@formergr: I actually don't think regular condoms are sterilized. Legal ones I mean. There's no reason to sterilize them because what they go on and in aren't sterile areas. #condoms
@Tart of Darkness: Here's a little thing on how condoms are made. Everyone making them are wearing protective gear and it appears to be a clean zone that the condoms are being made in. Much different from condoms made by sweaty men without any face masks (presumably) and with probably limited hygienic options. Also, there's no use of veggie oil, but instead safer, more long-lasting lubricants.
@Dancingfrog: I wasn't implying that they are not properly made under clean conditions as regulated for the kind of medical device that they are, but they are not sterilized. They are made under "clean" conditions, not sterile ones. #condoms
@Tart of Darkness: Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you said anything. I just wanted to post that link because it's interesting, and your post was the next one up to reply to. #condoms
@Dancingfrog: And I wanted to say I did enjoy your link. When I rewrote my post because my first one was clumsy (er than what I posted) I left that out. People should know how their protection is made. #condoms
From the article: "But the family remains in need of money for everything from medical bills to rent to food. Big-hearted readers can send checks to the Jaycee Lee Dugard Trust, c/o Viewtech, PO Box 596, Atwood, CA 92811." #condoms
I don't understand how all these prom debacles happen. At my high school, nobody knew who was taking whom to prom until we got there. None of the teachers or administrators asked, we didn't need to tell anyone. And occasionally people went alone, or groups of friends went. I took a girl to my prom (I think she was straight, we didn't ever date or anything even though she was super hot and cool) and my BFF was our other date. Nobody really knew until we got there. Nobody cared, but even if they had we would already have been there, it would have been too late to ban us. #condoms
@Cimorene: Where I went, if you were taking someone from outside the school, you had to get approval-- but i think that was basically to make sure no one older than 21 came. #condoms
@Cimorene: Same at my school. I decided to go to my senior prom last minute because my friend broke up with her boyfriend and needed a date. We didn't alert school officials or anything. What does this principal think is going to happen if they let that girl bring her girlfriend? That everyone is going to start having gay sex on the dance floor? #condoms
@Cimorene: We only had to give the name of people if they didn't go the school. But I can't imagine my school saying no to a female bringing another female. #condoms
@Cimorene: Exactly. I went one year with a girlfriend so we could save on tickets (two tickets together were cheaper than buying two separately) and it didn't matter and no one cared.
@Cimorene: There was a well known no-same-sex dates at my school (1990s) so one gay couple needed to pair up with an an opposite gay couple, switch partners to buy tix and get in the door,and then switch partners later. Dancing? Well, the girls could dance together but the guys had to keep their distance if they wanted to make it home in one piece.
They were young, but they weren't stupid. They knew what would get them harassed by administrators and students if they pulled it at a school sponsored event. Most gay kids have already been harassed by faculty in school. Of course you ask first, before you buy the dress and shoes and rent the limo. #condoms
@Cimorene: I consider myself lucky. Somehow my high school girlfriend was able to bring me, and I had already left the school and was no longer a student. And it was an all girls Catholic School, in Kentucky, no less. None of the faculty or deans said a thing. And it was obvious I wasn't there as her friend and a former student. #condoms
@Cimorene: We had to give our names and our date's names when we purchased tickets at my prom. The prom committee then wrote all of our names ("Terry and Carrie!") on a giant piece of butcher paper in sparkly glitter ink and hung it up in the hall, so that everyone knew who was going with whom, just in case you weren't paying attention to the gossip.
Which made the top of the list ("la.donna.pietra and Lisa!") particularly interesting, in 1994. #condoms
@BytheSea: My school knew damn well that I would call in GLAAD, PFLAG, Amnesty International, Melissa Etheridge, and anyone else I could think of. They didn't even bother giving me shit.
I did get my tires slashed, though. I'm pretty sure that was by a fellow prom-goer. #condoms
Am I the only woman in the world who doesn't experience hormonal mood swings? Sometimes it feels like it. I get cramps, but I've been menstruating since I was 10 years old, and I have never once felt any kind of cycle-related emotion.
A lot of guys don't even believe that it's possible. Those assholes who say things like "Oh, you must be on your period" because you disagree with them - if you tell them that you don't have PMS mood swings, they just laugh and tell you that they feel ever more sorry for your husband because you're obviously in denial about your moods.
What gives? Am I such a freak? Internet, please tell me that I'm not alone!
I keep hearing people in the comments referring to "catcalling" as the seminal experience of womanhood. Does this mean that conventionally unattractive women who don't get catcalled are not truly experiencing what it is to "be a woman"? Or how about internal organs -- what of those of us who can't biologically have children, making abortion rights personally moot?
If we're going to get our panties in a twist, let's twist 'em all the way. "Being a woman": everyone is doing it wrong.
Which is to say: Dana Jennings is trying to get through a terrible illness, and found an unlikely way to empathize with his wife and menopausal women everywhere. He's not saying he knows what the sum total of being a woman is. Jeeeezus.
@deitybox: Isn't it sending a bad message to say you have to go though a terrible illness to find empathy for your wife? Shouldn't the empathy already be there?
@deitybox: Nobody, actually, has refered to catcallnig as the seminal experience of womanhood (nor is catcalling dependent on one's level of attractiveness).
@greengrey: I think that of course he had empathy for his wife, but the actual experience of going through menopause-like symptoms made him really understand her mood swings and relate to what she was going through in menopause. @SarahMC: ball-cutting cybersuccubus: Actually, a few people commented along the lines of "don't you dare say you know what it means to be a woman until you've been catcalled while walking down the street." So if I haven't, I don't know what it means to be a woman?
@deitybox: Oh heavens. I'll only speak to myself, but here's the deal: I listed a number of social experiences women face in order to drive the point home that our biology does not determine "who we are" as people. It was an effort to show that no ONE thing defines us as women, period. Certainly not our hormones.
@SarahMC: ball-cutting cybersuccubus: Yeah, I got it, and of course I agree. But I also think that some commenters were really overreacting to what was a harmless, empathetic column, and making generalizing statements about what "being a woman" really is.
I'm with you on this one deitybox and was crafting something along the same lines when I came to your post.
Actually, since my hormones are crazy low, I don't even 'get' to experience the stereotypical crazed emotions during PMS. No catcalls, make the same as everyone else, no baby-making ability.
@annexw: Really? I have polycystic-ovarian syndrome, so I'm also feeling rather "unwomanly" when it comes to hormones, menstruation and baby-making included.
An herbal mix-up back in 2005 made my testosterone levels spike. I was constantly horny and wanted to fight with EVERYONE, and I thought, "No wonder men are always starting wars and arguing over nothing." I'll take hot flashes over that insanity any day of the week.
@Gingerlime: That sounds awesome and horrifying all at the same time. Have you heard the "Testosterone" episode of This American Life? (Or has everyone who's ever heard this story already recommended it?)
Dudes. Please shut up about your ovary envy. Stop using gender essentialism to support your view of what "being a woman" is like. It ain't all in the hormones. Do you get catclled on the street? Are your internal organs subject to occupation by the state? No? Then shut the hell up.
@PilgrimSoul: "Are your internal organs subject to occupation by the state?" To be fair, there is solid evidence that my ovaries are Weapons of Mass Destruction - any and all preventative intervention is really in the best interests of global safety.
I once found myself turning into a teenage girl from the early 1970s, but it wasn't hormones; I was just being chased by a crazed ax murderer while babysitting some demonically-possessed children in a house built on an old Indian burial ground. There was a lot of sweating and crying for me as well.
I read a lot about hormones because I have problems with mine, but I always hate to think that our personalities are the sum of our hormones...we are more than chemicals coursing through our bodies, right? A pill can't erase my sex drive, or my fiery temperament, or can it?
@virgikneecap: I don't know about fiery temperament, but there are a lot of women (myself included) who have found that birth control pills can completely erase an otherwise very healthy sex drive.
Once you're cat-called on your 8 am walk to work four times a week, you'll "know what it's like" to be a woman.
Once you realize your paycheck is smaller than that of the dude-bro below you with five fewer years of experience, you'll "know what it's like" to be a woman.
Once society has determined that your life is worth less than that of a recently fertilized egg, you'll "know what it's like" to be a woman.
We are not the sum of our hormonal fluctuations you jackass.
My uncle had hormone treatment for prostate cancer and it did make him much more emotional and "softer" (in his words) in his dealings with others.
Whether or not it's stereotypical (and it sure as hell doesn't take individuality into consideration), we all KNOW that our hormonal swings contribute to our emotions!
@sybann: Yeah, my daddy has prostate cancer and he is definitely less even keeled. I think the difference is what hormones do to you personally. Some people cry and others get angry.
11/11/09
Dear Cynthia,
Tell your stupid assistant superintendent that he's 15 years behind the times. I took my girlfriend to prom in 1994. The seas did not boil, the earth did not quake, and society did not instantly crumble. A couple of guys came out of the closet a year later, but I'm pretty sure that would have happened anyway.
Don't back down. Prom is silly, overrated, and damn important in this society.
Love,
la.donna.pietra #condoms
11/11/09
I'm guessing the men where shirtless due to it being hot (likely terrible conditions to work in), so I'm picturing them dripping sweat onto the condoms as they are being packaged. Yuck... #condoms
11/12/09
11/12/09
[www.lifestylesplay.com] #condoms
11/13/09
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11/11/09
[www.post-gazette.com] #condoms
11/11/09
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11/11/09
Are there schools where you need to register your date? #condoms
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
They were young, but they weren't stupid. They knew what would get them harassed by administrators and students if they pulled it at a school sponsored event. Most gay kids have already been harassed by faculty in school. Of course you ask first, before you buy the dress and shoes and rent the limo. #condoms
11/11/09
11/11/09
Which made the top of the list ("la.donna.pietra and Lisa!") particularly interesting, in 1994. #condoms
11/11/09
I did get my tires slashed, though. I'm pretty sure that was by a fellow prom-goer. #condoms
11/11/09
06/02/09
A lot of guys don't even believe that it's possible. Those assholes who say things like "Oh, you must be on your period" because you disagree with them - if you tell them that you don't have PMS mood swings, they just laugh and tell you that they feel ever more sorry for your husband because you're obviously in denial about your moods.
What gives? Am I such a freak? Internet, please tell me that I'm not alone!
06/02/09
If we're going to get our panties in a twist, let's twist 'em all the way. "Being a woman": everyone is doing it wrong.
Which is to say: Dana Jennings is trying to get through a terrible illness, and found an unlikely way to empathize with his wife and menopausal women everywhere. He's not saying he knows what the sum total of being a woman is. Jeeeezus.
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
I'm with you on this one deitybox and was crafting something along the same lines when I came to your post.
Actually, since my hormones are crazy low, I don't even 'get' to experience the stereotypical crazed emotions during PMS. No catcalls, make the same as everyone else, no baby-making ability.
I fail at many things I guess. ;)
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09
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06/02/09
Once you realize your paycheck is smaller than that of the dude-bro below you with five fewer years of experience, you'll "know what it's like" to be a woman.
Once society has determined that your life is worth less than that of a recently fertilized egg, you'll "know what it's like" to be a woman.
We are not the sum of our hormonal fluctuations you jackass.
06/02/09
Whether or not it's stereotypical (and it sure as hell doesn't take individuality into consideration), we all KNOW that our hormonal swings contribute to our emotions!
06/02/09
06/02/09
06/02/09