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What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Hailey Glassman On Emotionally Abusive Boyfriend Jon Gosselin
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Equality/N.O.W.
Is Parental Approval Bad For Kids?
Ask Men Thinks They're Too Good For You, Ladies

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KingCouth
11/02/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Whoa I was JUST talking to a couple guy friends about this! I think the line, "if a man really can't handle it, maybe it's not the pubic hair that has to go," pretty much sums up our conclusions. Both guys are somewhat masculine, but overall just good, gentlemanly, chivalrous, kind, funny dudes. And not that getting the male perspective on this is the final word, but they both said that finding a bush would never ever stop them from eating some pussy. (Sorry, I hope I don't offend anyone, but that's exactly the way they put it).

In my experience, the dudes that are grossed out by pubic hair, have other issues. They're the ones overly obsessed with their own appearance, and also– they just don't love women. I don't mean they're homosexual, but they don't love, honor, and respect women they way they should. Perhaps I'm getting too deep on this, but I really think it's indicative of how much a man truly loves women. If he'll enthusiastically go down on you regardless of how long your pubic – or leg! – hair is, ignoring it along with granny panties and any other obstacle? He's the definition of a real man in my book! #advice
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clevernamehere
11/02/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
Looking at both pieces, what really strikes me is that the good husband piece is all about getting away with doing as little as possible.

Do chores, but make sure you get all the best ones!

Avoid nagging, pretend you like your wife!

Most of the comments are bitching about how underapprecaited men are. Here's one of my favorites:
"How about you do the shopping, take the kids to the park, dig the garden, paint the walls and I may think about giving you two minutes after Match of the Day :)"

Society has such low expectations of men, yet women can always improve. #marriage
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hollygirl
11/02/09

@clevernamehere: I love how much credit men get for "babysitting" their own kids!! #marriage
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joslyn.da001
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
"If you don't, you will be nagged. And nagging, as we all know, is the marital equivalent of waterboarding." This is the advice to men? The wives are told to put husbands first and men get advice on how to keep the wife off their back? Here's an idea on how to be a good husband-- never use the word "nag" or any of it's derivatives no matter who you're talking about. It shows you don't respect your wife or women in general. In fact, I would argue thats one of the keys to a good partnership, a little damn mutual respect.
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andromedeia
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
Okay, conversation with their wives is "excruciating" for men? WHAT? Shouldn't you marry someone who you are excited to talk to every day? #marriage
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Natalie-Marie
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
We talked about this in my women's studies class last semester, the class decided that it was an effort for insecure men to make women more sexually non-threatening.

I think that makes sense.

I trim mine, but I'll NEVER wax. (Too scary). When my boyfriend told me he'd like it if I didn't do anything to them, I decided that I liked him even more. :)
I guess he missed the "conditioning" day in high school. #advice
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lurkerbynature
11/01/09

@Natalie-Marie: I don't really see the connection to threatening or non-threatening. It's more like the hair on the head for an "everyone has it" value than leg hair, the removal of which which makes more sense if you're looking at exaggerated sexual dimorphism.

I'd say that two more important influences are swim-suit styles and (most importantly) the fact that oral sex is no longer as taboo as it was. In my experience, personal preferences vary a lot more than the line about how porn is influencing expectations allows for. #advice
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clevernamehere
11/02/09

@lurkerbynature: High cut swim suits came in fashion in the 70s/80s and oral sex lost its taboo several decades ago.

I think "threatening" is taking it too far, but porn is the biggest influence. #advice
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smartiepops
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
I have had a guy say I needed to "do something" about the my pubic hair to match his preference and I was not amused. I should have asked him if he could grow another inch...since that's what I prefer. #advice
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petersterncan
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
Well it's not only men that have a skewed idea of what's normal. Plenty of women have a whacked out idea of what normal is too.

Some women seem to have the idea that men can always get hard at the drop of a hat with minimal stimulation... as seen in porn... except in reality, a lot of those male porn stars pop viagra like it's candy.

On the subject of pubic hair... personally I prefer if a woman has pubic hair. Being completely shaved/waxed to me sends the message of having sex with a "girl" rather than a "Woman".

But as well, I'm not a fan of mainstream porn with the completely hairless bodies, fake overdubbed sounds and same overdone procedure (BJ, followed by vaginal, followed by anal, followed by facial). The sex I see in mainstream porn is too formulaic and fake. It doesn't resemble what a real woman looks like when she climaxes for real. To me, there is nothing more hot than watching a woman's body shudder as she climaxes and feel her squirt all over me.

Many men and women don't even know that women are capable of squirting... or don't even realize it's NOT urine.

This is one of the consequences of not having REAL sex education in school. What we have right now in schools is a sterilized sorry excuse for sex education that seems to be more focused on instilling fear into kids (by mainly focusing on pregnancy and STDs) rather than teaching the WHOLE picture. Honestly I think it would be healthy if, as part of sex education, everyone had to get totally naked and see themselves as they are and realize what real people look like. Yeah there would be embarrassment... but part of growing up is actually having to deal with stuff like that.

But when it comes to sex and *intimacy*, many quarters of society want to deal with things by *not* dealing with them. #advice
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CrapCommentFromADude
11/03/09

@petersterncan: "Some women seem to have the idea that men can always get hard at the drop of a hat with minimal stimulation... as seen in porn... except in reality, a lot of those male porn stars pop viagra like it's candy. "

I forget who it was, but some porn star's autobiography had a chapter titled "Dear Sweet Jesus, Please Let Me Get An Erection".

It's the reason 99% of guys can't hack it in porn. If it happens to you once or twice, you're basically washed out of the business. #advice
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rixatrix
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
This is so true - and I find I get myself into the most trouble when I notice too much the "differences" between women and men. Like when I expect my boyfriend is going to act like a "typical dude" if I ask him to do something for me, instead of giving him the credit he deserves for who he is as an individual. Any sentence that starts with "Men are so..." is usually at least half false. #marriage
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Tambar
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
My OB/GYN said she sees several cases a month of contact dermatitis from there not being hair to protect delicate skin where there should be. #advice
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
11/01/09

@Tambar: That really says it all, IMO. #advice
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AnotherJenn
11/01/09

In reply to When It Comes To Waxing, Advice Columnist Says There's Not Really A Choice
When it comes to waxing, how many women really have the extra $50 a month to spend? Why is pubic hair removal always talked about as if waxing is the norm when most women who remove their pubes actually shave? Is it because it sounds more reasonable when the language doesn't bring to mind dragging razors across ones genitals? #advice
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JillJitsu
11/01/09

@AnotherJenn: i think id rather drag a razor over my own genitals than trust a complete stranger with god-only-knows what sort of training to slather hot wax over them and rip off. but, thats me... #advice
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cirocco
11/01/09

@JillJitsu: For real! The only people permitted between my legs are a) my lover and b) members of the medical profession. There is no way in hell someone with a G.E.D. and nine months of cosmetology school is messing with my junk. (Unless a future lover of mine is a beautician, I guess, falling under the first category. That would be nice-- free haircolor and blow-outs.) #advice
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AnotherJenn
11/01/09

@JillJitsu: I would too. Still, when pubic hair removal is discussed in articles it's always "waxing," as if the norm is for all women to spend $50 a month to have a stranger rip out her pubes. Not only was the advice columnist telling that woman she MUST remove hair, she was told she must spend good money to do so. #advice
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GeekSpice
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
Darn, with "Good Wife" in the title, I was hoping for something from Salem, MA.... #marriage
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funnyface
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
My marriage advice can be summed up as follows: marry someone you actually like, and don't be a jerk. The end. You would think that following the two precepts above would mean that people wouldn't constantly have to be told how to treat their spouse like an actual human being whom they actually like and want to be around. #marriage
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whynotshesaid
11/01/09

@funnyface: It's so simple, yet seems to confound so many! #marriage
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hollygirl
11/02/09

@funnyface: But people and life situations change, sometime radiclly! the guy you "liked" in college, when life was simple and fun, can be alot less fun when you're dealing with children, aging parents, disease, finances... its not THAT simple. #marriage
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clevernamehere
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
I do think some women put their kids way above their spouse, but the reason for that is often that the husband doesn't have the kids on his radar at all. Some guys will complain how "whipped" their friend with kids is because he can't hang out after work, ignoring the fact that if he just disappears his wife is chained to the house.

It isn't just women who need to put their marriage first. The cult of masculinity is as big a problem as the cult of motherhood. #marriage
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BlueJeans
11/01/09

@clevernamehere: That's a fantastic point. I don't think it's fair to criticize women who seem to place most of their familial attention on kids without simultaneously criticizing the larger problem, which is that men still aren't expected to share child-rearing responsibilities equally. #marriage
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FrannyR
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
A group of women at my work, ages 35-45, love nothing more than making fun of their husbands. It's like a competition about whose husband is the most helpless/hopeless with household chores, social functions, parenting etc. I don't understand why they do that, or married these men in the first place, and find their behaviour absolutely disgusting. Bad wives. #marriage
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LaComtesse
11/01/09

@FrannyR: I understand light complaints, but when I hear it all the time from my co-worker who then mutters "Boys!" as though it's a universal problem I think "No. That's not something all guys do... also, not every woman is as irritated by her husband as you seem to be." #marriage
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HarpMadness
11/01/09

@FrannyR: I mostly work with men and what they say about their wives --when I'm present and I assume they're on better behavior -- is far beyond any of that. So, I think that advice could go both ways. #marriage
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clevernamehere
11/01/09

@FrannyR: That would drive me nuts, but for some people it is just a joking way to blow of steam. And as HarpMadness points out, I think it is a much bigger problem with men. #marriage
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FrannyR
11/01/09

@HarpMadness: Either way, it bothers me. I'm not married, or even in a relationship atm, but what about respect and loyalty? I think they are bonding over these stories, that make their husbands seem pathetic, inept and almost retarded. I suspect some stories are grossly exagerrated or even made up, just to be in the clique. I just imagine what it's like on the other end, if someone talked like that about me. It would be the dealbreaker to end all dealbreakers, but for them, it's nothing. I asked them, and they assume their husbands talk about them too. It bothers me because when I wonder why I'm single, I wonder if I'm supposed to accept things like this, because I just can't. I would feel betrayed and used. #marriage
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Maritsa
11/01/09

In reply to What Does It Mean To Be A "Good Wife?"
Even women who would never call themselves feminists have bought into the idea that men are bottom of the list after their personal fulfilment, fitness routine and, of course, the kids.

Riiiight, because feminists are OBVIOUSLY so much more selfish than non-feminist women! #marriage
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hollygirl
11/02/09

@Maritsa: Yeah- what about feminism is about putting men down?? Seriously! This alone shows so much about the author's attitude... #marriage
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