""Stripper-mobile?" Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like."
Maybe I've helped too many friends decorate their babies rooms, but to me it sounds something you hang over a crib. #strippers
The story of the woman who did the pedophile sting on her husband is amazing! Can you imagine realizing the person you have loved for decades is capable of that? There's a foxy picture of her at the link, too. #strippers
@Hana Maru: That would suck, SOOOO much to find that out. I even think it would be worse to find it out right then and there, as it happened.... he's lucky she didn't stop in the kitchen to grab a knife on her way to confront him! Although, I wonder if she thought of just ASKING him what that first suspicious message was about? Then again, we don't know that this was the first strange message she'd seen. #strippers
@Hana Maru: I know, I imagine myself in the wife's place and can't see that I wouldn't give myself away by gasping in shock or suddenly shouting out at the guy. #strippers
What on earth, between women dancing without restraints in a moving vehicle and the distraction that women dancing suggestively is bound to cause for all drivers, would lead them to think that there was any doubt in this situation? #strippers
@maneki neko: My first thought was about the woman in the vehicle trying to swing around a pole in a freaking moving car. Potentially dangerous?? #strippers
Jesus H. I'm 5'9" and I got up to 240 pounds with my last pregnancy. OMG STOP THE PRESSES.
That's a BMI of 35.4. And I had a perfectly normal labor and delivery and nobody told me to GTFO. He was just a hungry damn baby and weighed over 9 pounds himself. Neither of us had diabetes or ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL.
F*ck you, Weston General. F*ck you right to hell. If you were my local hospital and you had the balls to try something like this on me I'd just sit on the front doorstep and give birth RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL LOBBY. #strippers
On the hospital banning births for women over a certain BMI.
At first take I was mad at this, but from the hospital's perspective, this isn't about discrimination.
I was a really early preemie and my mom was a Type 1 diabetic. She was transferred to 2 different hospitals before the EMTs found one that had a doctor willing to assist with the complicated delivery (which lasted 39 hours, go mom!). The first two hospitals did not believe that they were adequately equipped to help my mom, and in addition were not equipped to help a baby that would need immediate life support.
Some hospitals don't accept trauma patients etc-- on the face, this banning certain types of pregnancies seems like a maddening practice, but if the hospital believes mothers will be in danger, they should not treat them.
@curiousgeorgiana: Well, if they want to ban people who actually HAVE COMPLICATIONS that might be one thing, but there are plenty of people who have BMIs over 34 who have none and have perfectly healthy children who need no extra care whatsoever. #strippers
@redqueenmeg: Agreed. I'm not sure what the medical reason is, but I'm assuming the hospital has had some bad experiences and wants to limit its liability.
It completely sucks for women in that area who will have to travel farther to receive care-- but I hope it's for a good reason and not just the hospital being a bunch of dicks. #strippers
@curiousgeorgiana: My mom was at least a 34 BMI when she had me and my sibs back in the 70's. One was even with a midwife. No complications.
It seems to me that the hospital is advertising that it cannot deal with any kind of "complicated" childbirth, and if I were of lower than 34 BMI, I would be very hesitant to birth my child in a hospital where the staff may not actually know how to deliver babies. #strippers
@nerdycellist: I definitely would not want to give birth at that hospital because they are obviously not well equipped for obstetrics. So maybe the hospital should just shut down their maternity clinic? They are not inspiring much confidence. #strippers
@nerdycellist: So we all know BMI is far from perfect, and the hospital choosing 34 is likely somewhat arbitrary, but I do know that for people above a certain weight and size, special OR tables are needed (that are quite costly), as are special gurneys, and even special surgical instruments. It might just be a case of that here, but if that's so, I wonder why it's just not a blanket ban on all surgical patients (male, female) above a certain cutoff point? #strippers
@curiousgeorgiana: My thoughts exactly. Things can go awry during birth and sometimes there is no warning, so if you're not equipped to handle complications, you shouldn't have a maternity unit at all. #strippers
@formergr: Have you seen the BMI project? You do know that a BMI of 34 is hardly Circus-Fat-Lady / Remove-The-Wall-of-My-House size.
I have a BMI of 38 which is DEATH FAT. I am so fat that the BMI chart indicates I will die from my enormity. I am a size 20. I have absolutely no problem fitting into theatre chairs, standard bed sizes, etc. No special gurneys, beds, tables or scales are neccesary for me. My only complaint are airline seats, but that's more of a gendered complaint from anyone who possesses hips.
Certainly, if a hospital cannot care for me because I have such freakish proportions, they should be shut down. And for those people who require larger scales, beds, chairs, etc, they should acquire some - because some people come in "non-standard" sizes and they are also human beings who may need health care.
This case is one of two things: the staff at the hospital are incompetent, or just want to "punish" fatties - specifically women - by withholding health care. My money's on the latter explanation. I'll bet they have no problem offering incredibly risky weight loss surgery to people over a 34 BMI. #strippers
To be fair, the woman DID sue for both unlawful arrest and the use of excessive force. It was found that she could not sue for excessive force; only unlawful arrest. Which kind of sucks. #strippers
@dancerevolution: See, to me, I would have thought it would be the opposite. Yes, she ran a red light and they have every right to arrest her for that. HOWEVER forcing her out of an ER when she's in labor would seem like excessive force to me. #strippers
@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Forcing her out by tackling her to the ground is excessive! At 7 months it should have been very obvious she was pregnant. You do NOT tackle pregnant women to the ground! #strippers
@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Not to quibble, but they don't have a right to arrest someone for running a red light. Issue a ticket, yes. The right to arrest was probably from fleeing the police (all the way to the ER).
In other news, I really thought the woman gets arrested while in labor story was going to be very different (like they tracked down an actual criminal) and was shocked! by the story. But then I remembered that this is America, and my shock faded. #strippers
@Kirkat: That's why I'm confused why she's allowed to sue for unlawful arrest when she actually DID break the law (and probably would have been able to get off in court, honestly) but not excessive force which this clearly was. #strippers
@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I know, I'm just gobsmacked that anybody would do that. I'm just happy the doctors could help her stop the labour. I think she's allowed to sue for unlawful arrest because you're not supposed to arrest someone who is in a medical emergency. #strippers
Ugh, this just infuriates me. I hate that smart people from other countries come here to escape some kind of opporession, and then find their degrees and proof of knowledge don't apply here.
I also hate when people complain about having to pay people more for jobs like this. Really? You don't think they deserve a decent pay for caring for your children all day???
I hate that jobs like caring for children or cleaning are considered "low" and aren't paid well. Those are some physically and mentally demanding jobs that not many people care to do and deserve our respect and the people doing them deserve to be paid well.
Aside from the obvious labor and class issues it brings up, what this article demonstrates to me is that people whose lives revolve around proving their worth to one another through having all the right 'stuff', be it the latest stroller or dog breed or nanny ethnicity, will always find a new way to set themselves apart. Because that's what proving your value through possessions is all about - mutually-acknowledged exclusivity.
And don't even get me started on the racist assumptions inherent in hiring a nanny from a specific ethnicity because of their supposed ethnic skill set.
Wanting a spanish speaking nanny wouldn't be just a trendy thing to do in California or Texas. Being able to speak Spanish would be very useful in these states and additionally, hiring any nanny that can teach your child a second language (be it Spanish, Mandarin, French, or whatever) is a great thing.
In these tough times I have worked as a personal assistant/cleaning lady. It ain't easy. I didn't get paid very much but it was under the table and the people I worked for paid me daily.
@HappyLand: we had an au pair when i was little. my dad was in the navy and my mom went to school. my dad had also been in a bad accident and wasn't mobile enough to look after a four year old and a two year old. the au pair was a friend of a friend of the family in denmark and wanted to live in the US for a while.
we difineately weren't rich but being in the military meant my mom was away from any help she could have gotten from her family. this was the best option for them. the au pair didn't raise me. she was like a baby sitter or an older sister, since she lived with us.
@HappyLand: There are as many reasons to hire nannies as they are people who hire nannies. Some reasons are good, some reasons are bad. Some parents who employ nannies are deeply involved in raising their children, some are not. Some do it from choice, some do it from necessity.
My family had a nanny that worked for my family for 27 years before she died of lung cancer. I consider her presence in my life one of the greatest gifts my mother ever gave me. My mother was also a deeply loving, involved mother. But, she and my father owned and ran a huge restaurant and the hours were long. They had the financial ability to hire a nanny. I am so very glad they did, because it worked for us as a family and in the end was the best thing for all of us.
Each family and situation is different. People have been paying other people to assist them in raising their children for thousands of years. It is not bizarre. It can be bad, but it can also be great for everyone involved.
I don't understand why this post touched a huge nerve. I think its a fairly straight forward post about how a group of wealthy women (and their husbands) continue to fetishize (to a degree) and take advantage of various ethnic groups when it comes to child care. No one was "dissing" all people who have ever employed nannies or whatever. It wasn't personally directed. YES, obviously everyone who employs a nanny or sitter doesn't treat them badly. But we weren't talking about those people. It was never about EVERYONE, it was about this seeming trend that msnbc was apparently reporting on earlier. I feel kinda weird even writing this because it feels so lecture-y and I don't want to be like that but I just can't believe the amount of vitriol this has generated.
I think a fundamental issue that makes many of us uncomfortable (including me) can be analyzed from a feminist lens: Who does "women's work?" Who takes care of the kids, cleans the floors, does the dishes, washes the clothes? These tasks have to get done somehow. Among the class of people in the United States who employ domestic workers--whether to care for children, do housekeeping, take care of elderly parents, or other domestic tasks, this laborer is making it possible for the employers to pursue their jobs/career outside of the home. But at the end of the day, SOMEBODY has to do these things. And particularly in places like NYC, this dynamic makes people feel uncomfortable--hiring someone to do the things no one else wants to do. The historical nature of who does this work, and how the people who do this work have been considered expendable, and even the knowledge that some people consider hiring a domestic worker an indulgent luxury--this gives people an icky feeling and makes them defensive and want to explain how great they treat their domestic worker (which granted some do!)
Also--guess who some of the WORST employers of domestic workers are?? Diplomats. No joke--and they get away with it with their diplomatic immunity.
@kavitabk: While diplomats do have immunity, it behooves them to follow all local laws in regards to hiring domestic employees so their embassy doesn't have to have meetings with the host government about the atrocious way they treat their domestic help. I think a lot of how often this is followed depends on the local hiring practices and what the diplomats are accustomed to. I know in the country I live in having a gig with an American diplomat is viewed as the best it gets since they usually a) pay better than locals b) aren't home often c) didn't grow up with a fleet of maids and nannies catering to their every whim and so are less demanding than locals.
@kavitabk: I would like to +1 this comment because it is thoughtful, and add that I think it's very indicative that we don't value women's work when women don't get paid to do it, and we don't value "women's work" when women do get paid to do it.
Ideally, we would value this work, instead of acting like there's some option besides food being prepared, children being cared for, et cetera.
wtfox?! promoted this comment
purpleshoes reminds everyone to take typing breaks and stretch, ow was starred
purpleshoes reminds everyone to take typing breaks and stretch, ow was unstarred
@LaFemme: I don't know what country you are in, and while I don't doubt that the perks of working for a diplomat can be wonderful, this is a documented pattern that has occurred across nations and for decades. Often host governments turn a blind eye or don't really take accusations seriously, if a worker is able to even go to authorities. It's a culture of impunity that many diplomats and their families buy into: [www.aclu.org]
@msdisc: Yes, I am sure there are diplomats employers who treat their domestic workers splendidly, but my point was that these are not isolated cases, but a pattern of taking advantage of the most vulnerable among us by people who don't have to answer for their wrongs (and I support diplomatic immunity in a broad sense; I don't want our diplomats to be thrown in jail for some bs reason because another country's leader is pissed off at our government).
@kavitabk: Yes, I have seen that. I think a big part of why this is is not just having diplomatic status, but that those diplomats may also bring their attitudes towards domestic help with them when they move to their new countries. (Like this is citing foreign diplomats in the States). Without going into specific cultures to try to avoid steretyping, I will say that overall people who are diplomats from countries where there is a huge divide between the upper and lower classes seem to be particularly terrible towards their domestic help and I can see them not adapting to new laws and norms if they can get away with it. I haven't really noticed any American/Canadian/German/British diplomats who go overseas and go wild with abusing their help, though I suppose it could happen. I know my maid in Brazil had her finger on the pulse for embassy jobs and she and some of the other maids would discuss who they had/would work for and they had a list of countries that were seen as generally dream jobs and another list where they wouldn't step foot in the homes because they had such poor track records.
@LaFemme: Yeah, I've heard this too but I don't think it's that western countries have less polarized class struggles or that their diplomats are just better people or have a superior culture--it's that certain countries' governments have a demonstrated pattern of not addressing and/or not caring when these abuses are brought to their attention, so diplomats from these countries have an added incentive to do whatever the hell they want. And from a cursory search of cases that have been brought to the public in some way, Germany and Australia are on the shortlist, although there are distinct patterns from certain regions/countries.
@kavitabk: The argument that SOMEONE has too do this work is one of my responses when people say that the workers in these jobs should get a better job if they don't like it or if they want more money. Okay, if they get another job, who is going to fill that job? Someone needs to do it and better to pay people well and treat them well and have them do the job and stay with it.
I've told this story before: this summer I went to pick up my kids at tennis camp. I'm Mexican, married to a white guy, and my kids don't look like "typical" Mexicans. This little boy, around 5, comes and asks "are you their nanny?", and I say, "no, I am their Mom". He says "no, you don't look like their Mom, you must be their nanny".
He has a Hispanic nanny.
I guess I should be glad that in the future people won't think I am a nanny since they will be Tibetan, but I still will be confused with gardeners or maids or cooks. :-(
@Little Green Frog (Wise Latina): "I've told this story before: this summer I went to pick up my kids at TENNIS CAMP. " LOL, I think "tennis camp" says it all! If you were picking up your kids at the Y day camp, the kid would have been more used to seeing all types of people (and NOT CONTRADICTING HIS ELDERS!!!!!) Please don't think I'm making light your experience and your feelings - I just don't want you to feel bad over what some ill-mannered brat told you.
11/12/09
*crickets*
Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week. #strippers
11/12/09
Maybe I've helped too many friends decorate their babies rooms, but to me it sounds something you hang over a crib. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/13/09
I can't believe they were sitting there at two computers in the same house! I wonder if she managed to keep a straight face at all. #strippers
11/13/09
11/12/09
What on earth, between women dancing without restraints in a moving vehicle and the distraction that women dancing suggestively is bound to cause for all drivers, would lead them to think that there was any doubt in this situation? #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
That's a BMI of 35.4. And I had a perfectly normal labor and delivery and nobody told me to GTFO. He was just a hungry damn baby and weighed over 9 pounds himself. Neither of us had diabetes or ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL.
F*ck you, Weston General. F*ck you right to hell. If you were my local hospital and you had the balls to try something like this on me I'd just sit on the front doorstep and give birth RIGHT THERE IN THE HOSPITAL LOBBY. #strippers
11/12/09
At first take I was mad at this, but from the hospital's perspective, this isn't about discrimination.
I was a really early preemie and my mom was a Type 1 diabetic. She was transferred to 2 different hospitals before the EMTs found one that had a doctor willing to assist with the complicated delivery (which lasted 39 hours, go mom!). The first two hospitals did not believe that they were adequately equipped to help my mom, and in addition were not equipped to help a baby that would need immediate life support.
Some hospitals don't accept trauma patients etc-- on the face, this banning certain types of pregnancies seems like a maddening practice, but if the hospital believes mothers will be in danger, they should not treat them.
11/12/09
11/12/09
It completely sucks for women in that area who will have to travel farther to receive care-- but I hope it's for a good reason and not just the hospital being a bunch of dicks. #strippers
11/12/09
It seems to me that the hospital is advertising that it cannot deal with any kind of "complicated" childbirth, and if I were of lower than 34 BMI, I would be very hesitant to birth my child in a hospital where the staff may not actually know how to deliver babies. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
I have a BMI of 38 which is DEATH FAT. I am so fat that the BMI chart indicates I will die from my enormity. I am a size 20. I have absolutely no problem fitting into theatre chairs, standard bed sizes, etc. No special gurneys, beds, tables or scales are neccesary for me. My only complaint are airline seats, but that's more of a gendered complaint from anyone who possesses hips.
Certainly, if a hospital cannot care for me because I have such freakish proportions, they should be shut down. And for those people who require larger scales, beds, chairs, etc, they should acquire some - because some people come in "non-standard" sizes and they are also human beings who may need health care.
This case is one of two things: the staff at the hospital are incompetent, or just want to "punish" fatties - specifically women - by withholding health care. My money's on the latter explanation. I'll bet they have no problem offering incredibly risky weight loss surgery to people over a 34 BMI. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
In other news, I really thought the woman gets arrested while in labor story was going to be very different (like they tracked down an actual criminal) and was shocked! by the story. But then I remembered that this is America, and my shock faded. #strippers
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
However, we couldn't give a fuck about the ones who we DON'T LET deliver here. #strippers
11/12/09
09/22/09
I also hate when people complain about having to pay people more for jobs like this. Really? You don't think they deserve a decent pay for caring for your children all day???
I hate that jobs like caring for children or cleaning are considered "low" and aren't paid well. Those are some physically and mentally demanding jobs that not many people care to do and deserve our respect and the people doing them deserve to be paid well.
09/22/09
And don't even get me started on the racist assumptions inherent in hiring a nanny from a specific ethnicity because of their supposed ethnic skill set.
09/22/09
In these tough times I have worked as a personal assistant/cleaning lady. It ain't easy. I didn't get paid very much but it was under the table and the people I worked for paid me daily.
09/21/09
09/22/09
we difineately weren't rich but being in the military meant my mom was away from any help she could have gotten from her family. this was the best option for them. the au pair didn't raise me. she was like a baby sitter or an older sister, since she lived with us.
09/22/09
My family had a nanny that worked for my family for 27 years before she died of lung cancer. I consider her presence in my life one of the greatest gifts my mother ever gave me. My mother was also a deeply loving, involved mother. But, she and my father owned and ran a huge restaurant and the hours were long. They had the financial ability to hire a nanny. I am so very glad they did, because it worked for us as a family and in the end was the best thing for all of us.
Each family and situation is different. People have been paying other people to assist them in raising their children for thousands of years. It is not bizarre. It can be bad, but it can also be great for everyone involved.
09/21/09
09/21/09
Also--guess who some of the WORST employers of domestic workers are?? Diplomats. No joke--and they get away with it with their diplomatic immunity.
09/21/09
09/21/09
Ideally, we would value this work, instead of acting like there's some option besides food being prepared, children being cared for, et cetera.
09/21/09
09/21/09
Knowing my father, he never let that title get to his head. Only his children, friends and wife know his former status. Meh.
09/21/09
09/21/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/21/09
He has a Hispanic nanny.
I guess I should be glad that in the future people won't think I am a nanny since they will be Tibetan, but I still will be confused with gardeners or maids or cooks. :-(
09/22/09