Jezebel
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Posts Tagged “
judge judy
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Judge Judy Has Zero Sympathy For Idiots And Their Offspring
Maybe it's because Judge Judy worked in the NYC Family Court system for years and years that she's particularly sympathetic to other municipal workers, like the plaintiff in this clip. He's a cop who pulled over the defendant's husband and son, who were going 100 mph in a 50 mph speed zone in their Lotus, attempting to street race with a Corvette. The defendant's wife decided to make trouble for the cop, and filed a complaint against him for "mistreating" her son because he is Hispanic; the cop is suing the woman, claiming the complaint is frivolous, and damaging to his employment record. Judge Judy totally agrees. Listen to the lashing she gives the defendant, her husband, whom JJ refers to as "Mr. Idiot", and their son.
the week that was
This Week We Went To Prom And Got Incarcerated
- You sent us your prom pictures! There were many a mullet. We bet that one of you slept with your mulleted prom dates in the back of a Trans Am.
- Judge Judy will always be our superhero.
- We met a profesh douche named Dmitri.
- Anne Hathaway's No goodnick (now ex) boyfriend Raffaello Follieri turned out to be a total con artist. Instead of yachting on the Riviera, he's going to be yelping at Rikers.
- We fell in love with Mary Kate Olsen just a little.
- It's Friday. Shake your insured booty all weekend long.
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Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Amy Winehouse
After we read about that Rolling Stone article about just how close to death Amy Winehouse is, we decided that if her parents, her handlers, or rehab can't get through to her, we know who can: Judge Judy! She is our superhero and she is about to save our damsel in duress of crack. More »
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Finally, Someone Who Understands That "Um Is Not An Answer"
These two men — former boyfriends — were on Judge Judy because the plaintiff was suing for loans he made to the defendant when the two were a couple. They are both kind of ridiculous, but the plaintiff takes the cake since he's suing for a broken table, a cookie jar without a lid, and a broken cuckoo clock. The best though, is that he even made JJ stifle a laugh when he told her that he "realizes" that um is not an answer. Clip above.
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Conceptual Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Latarian Milton
Have you heard the news? Latarian Milton — the little boy who stole his grandma's SUV, totaled it, and decided that his punishment should be "no video games for like a weekend" — will appear on Judge Judy this fall. His grandmother is suing his mother for damages to her car. We're like peeing our pants in anticipation of what JJ will say to this kid. So we decided to play make believe and create a comic strip of what might just happen during his episode. The matchup, after the jump. More »
i thee dread
The Modern Wedding Ceremony: Full Of Patriarchal Pitfalls!
Perhaps diamond rings are "profoundly anti-feminist," but what about those other deeply entrenched wedding traditions? Where did those come from and are they secretly evil? Mental Floss has done a round-up of 8 common rites of marriage and boy, is it informative. Apparently brides didn't start wearing white until the sassy Queen Victoria "wore a pale gown trimmed in orange blossoms for her 1840 wedding to her first cousin, Prince Albert." After that, the adoring commoners copied her, and thus a tradition was born. But beyond that, most of the old school ceremonial stuff does have profoundly anti-feminist origins. Particularly patriarchal: your father giving you away. More »
WWJJD
Remember Latarian Milton, the unapologetic 7-year-old little boy who stole his grandma's SUV and crashed it all around town because he wanted to "do hood rat stuff"? Well, CBS News is reporting that his case will be taken to Judge Judy! His grandma, Vikkita Stratford, is suing his mom, Ashley Milton, for $5,000 for damages resulting from the incident. The episode will air in the fall. What will Judge Judy do!? [CBS via Dlisted]
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Judge Judy Is A Human Lie Detector
This nutbag was on Judge Judy today, suing two women for false arrest. It's really so crazy that she thinks that she even remotely has a chance in front of JJ. The plaintiff almost hit a car that the two defendants were driving. Then all three women got in a verbal altercation that led to assault, instigated by the plaintiff. Then the plaintiff got in her car and tried to mow the two defendants down in a parking lot, and rammed her vehicle into theirs (which by the way, a four-month-old child was in). JJ told the woman that her story was "a crock." LOL! Then she dismissed her case. Clip above.
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Judge Judy Puts Herself In "The Big House"…Her Own
What would Judge Judy do? Well, apparently she's taken the millions upon millions of dollars she's made through her syndicated TV show to build an elaborate family compound in Connecticut that rivals most hotels. I would give my right arm to see it (please, please feature this place, MTV Cribs!). JJ's good pal Cindy Adams gives us the rundown on the digs in her column in today's NY Post:The compound includes the guardhouse plus guest house, pool house, four-car garage, staff quarters, five acres of gardens with fountains, statues, benches, urns and a pond featuring enough koi or carp or flounder to feed the first seating at Le Bernardin…13 bathrooms with gold-plated fixtures, three floors, 24,000 square feet, eight bedrooms, including a "snoring room" off the 75-by-42 master suite (should Jerry get noisy), 10 hand-carved marble working fireplaces, 26-foot-high ceilings, [and] a conservatory.More »
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Judge Judy Doesn't Get The Whole "Friends With Benefits" Thing
A guy was on Judge Judy today, suing a girl for $600 he said he'd loaned her for a security deposit for her apartment. According to the defendant, the two were sleeping together, and the plaintiff spent an entire month living in her apartment, but the two weren't "seriously dating." JJ couldn't really comprehend that. It's obvious she's not familiar with fuck buddy-ism. Anyway, this poor guy wanted to be the defendant's BF, but she wasn't having it, so he decided to sue her for the security deposit. He really should've just left well enough alone, because he ended up getting publicly humiliated when the defendant described a crying fit he had on her bathroom floor when she broke off their unofficial dating, and JJ ended up dismissing the suit anyway. Clip above.
Loose Lips
Break out the baby wipes! Terrence Howard is planning to release his debut album, Terrence Howard – Me and the Band of Kings, on September 2. According to People one of the tracks, "Sanctuary," was inspired by "a coincidental meeting with Seal and Heidi Klum at a Hollywood party." Um…okay. • Lance Armstrong played coy when questioned about new gf Kate Hudson on The View. Yawn! • Aw, TMZ caught Jezebel fave Judge Judy bossing her husband around. WWJJD indeed. [People, Us, TMZ]
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Judge Judy Is Totally Justified In Calling This Woman A Moron Three Times
In this Judge Judy case, a man is suing his ex-wife for the cost of a paternity test and lost wages after she told their 6-year-old daughter that he might not be her father, because she had been sleeping with another man at the time. JJ had a field day with this one, as you can imagine, and awarded the man the full amount he was suing for. (Note to self: Start calling assholes "marginal people" more often.) Clip above.
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Earlier: Judge Judy Teaches Wife Beater To Have Respect For Women
Judge Judy Settles Domestic Dispute In 20 Seconds Flat
We all know that Judge Judy doesn't suffer fools gladly, but in an episode that aired yesterday, she suffered one very, very quickly. A girl was dating an ex-convict. She gave him money and let him stay at her apartment for months without receiving any rent or living expenses. Now that they're broken up, she's suing him for that money. JJ tells her to "get a life"! LOL! clip above.Earlier: Judge Judy Teaches Wife Beater To Have Respect For Women
pot psychology
P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.
"Is Being A Deadbeat Dad An Automatic Dealbreaker?"
It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, my friend till the end, Rich, helps me dole out advice on stuff like pubic hair, threesomes, and boners. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.
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Deadbeat Dad Shows Up Stoned In Judge Judy's Court
As far as pet peeves go for Judge Judy, irresponsible parents are right up there with "um" as an answer. Yesterday's episode featured a man was being sued by his ex-girlfriend for the money she spent on his DUI fines and looking after his children, whom child protective services had taken away from their mom. (The children now live with the defendant's paternal grandparents.) The guy doesn't have a job, likes to party, and appeared to be high as a kite during his hearing. None of that escaped JJ, who challenged him to a drug test. Clip above.
a barbara walters interview
