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New York, 6:47 PM
Fri Nov 27
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #jeans more →

    Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk

    Band-Aid

    Please. Proctologists Have Had That For Years!

    Forget About The Jeans Fitting You...

    People Furious About National Scandal Of Obama's Dad-Rock Jeans

    Your Mom Won't Know The Difference!

    Mainstream Media Addresses Plus-Size Fashion Issue

    The Baggy Skinny Jean Is Here To Destroy Fashion Forever

    Cosmo Thinks Of Things You Would Never Think Of By Yourself

    Jeans For All Mankind?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of boxspelunker boxspelunker
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    I told my ex-roommate about this. HE WAS SO INDIGNANT it was hilarious. I quote:

    "Why do they think I'm so pathetic? I swear, if I have to start checking every pair of jeans I try on, I am going to go apeshit. I don't want my junk in other people's faces. Why do they think I want my junk in other people's faces? I don't!"

    And I laughed.

    I don't think it's "pathetic", and I explained that these are more high-end jeans that what he wears, so he probably won't have to worry. But that's just how he is :D And normally, he doesn't have very strong reactions, so this surprised me. I figured he'd be like, "That's dumb," and blow it off, but he ranted for a good 20 minutes.
     Reply
    boxspelunker was starred boxspelunker was unstarred
    Image of drinkwater drinkwater
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    This is going to make for one awkward Christmas gift: Why, no, honey!!! I think you are TOTALLY man enough for me!!!! :-|
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment drinkwater was starred drinkwater was unstarred
    Image of Scout Scout
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    but does it "do stuff" when I rub on it?

    padding or no padding, I want a live one!
     Reply
    Scout was starred Scout was unstarred
    Image of curiousgeorgiana curiousgeorgiana
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    King Henry VIII wishes to welcome Calvin Klein to the overcompensating party.
     Reply
    curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    "They were a breakthrough! Such comfort, such support!"
    Where have I heard that before? It really does read like ad copy from a Wonderbra competitor.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Tchotchke Tchotchke
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    Jeez, whatever happened to sticking a tin foil-wrapped cucumber down your crotch?
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. promoted this comment Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    10/14/09

    @Tchotchke: Or the Old Faithful of Crotch-Stuffing, the rolled up gym sock.
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    10/14/09

    @Tchotchke: Excellent use of a Spinal Tap reference!
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @Tchotchke: The looser the waistband,
    the deeper the quicksand.
    Or so I have read.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Tchotchke Tchotchke
    10/14/09

    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ: "We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening." -Nigel Tufnel
     Reply
    Edited by Tchotchke at 10/14/09 4:39 PM Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @Tchotchke: *rofl*
    You're a naughty one, Saucy Jack.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Tchotchke Tchotchke
    10/14/09

    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ: "Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful."

    This movie is always good for about 3 dozen dick jokes.
     Reply
    Tchotchke was starred Tchotchke was unstarred
    Image of Blueberry26 Blueberry26
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    Why is his stomach wrinkled like a tucked in t-shirt?
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment Blueberry26 was starred Blueberry26 was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @Blueberry26: They used the same photoshopper Ralph Lauren used on Miss Hamilton, instead of just exhibiting some sense and paying Rafa or Marat for the endorsement.
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @Rooo sez BISH PLZ:
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    10/14/09

    @Blueberry26: I didn't even notice that. If I were to guess, the picture of the jeans originally had a picture of a guy wearing a tucked in t-shirt but decided they would rather have hot abs (I don't blame them!) and decided to photoshop some on.

    Someone forgot to use their clone tool properly.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of judgingamy judgingamy
    10/14/09

    @Blueberry26: I'm pretty sure those are veins.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles promoted this comment Edited by judgingamy at 10/14/09 4:44 PM judgingamy was starred judgingamy was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    10/14/09

    @judgingnora: @choufleur: Those are WAY too straight to be veins. They put the ab picture on top of the t-shirt picture and probably lowered the opacity or something to try to blend the two pictures together. The t-shirt lines look like artifacts from the previous image.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of Blueberry26 Blueberry26
    10/16/09

    @judgingnora: They could be veins, but I'm still suspicious. Not objecting to the abs, I've just never seen anyone with veins like that.
     Reply
    Edited by Blueberry26 at 10/16/09 11:28 AM Blueberry26 was starred Blueberry26 was unstarred
    Image of samarkand samarkand
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    *nods*
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite promoted this comment samarkand was starred samarkand was unstarred
    Image of GreyEminence GreyEminence
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    You know, I'm surprised stuff like this hasn't caught on amongst men. Maybe it's just embarrasment - they don't want to buy a product that tells the salesperson "I don't think my dick is big enough!" I actually have a pair of those Aussie Bum wonder-jock briefs* (DON'T JUDGE ME!), and they make a pretty noticeable difference. I quite like them. Geez, I feel dirty admitting this.

    *For those who don't know, these briefs have a little pouch on the inside of the front panel, into which you put your junk. The overall effect is that your junk sits higher and juts outwards more than it would on its own.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment GreyEminence was starred GreyEminence was unstarred
    Image of LaFemme LaFemme
    10/14/09

    @GreyEminence: Two of my gay male friends own these. To my knowledge none have gone so far as ordering one of the fake penis knuckle-looking things you can "pack" the underwear with, but that could be just a matter of time. Completely anecdotal, but in my experience these kind of things (add in also butt-padded jeans) seem to be more popular amongst gay men.
     Reply
    LaFemme was starred LaFemme was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @GreyEminence: With a trade name like "Aussie Bum", I would have thought they'd emphasize a different part of the anatomy.
    Shows what I know.
     Reply
    Edited by Rooo sez BISH PLZ at 10/14/09 4:35 PM Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    I sometimes wear a padded bra. When I take it off the difference is noticeable. But nobody has ever said, O HAI, UR BOOBS ARE LIKE SHRUNK WTF!!1!

    I think the padded-codpiece is dopey but I doubt it'll enable insecurities or make men assume they have a "package" problem.
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of Ailatan Ailatan
    10/14/09

    @Mary McCarthyite: a friend of mine was told that she was basically a lie, but she wore padded bras, extremely high heels (she was tiny) lots of makeup, contact lenses and dyed her hair.
     Reply
    Ailatan was starred Ailatan was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    You know what? I'll own it. I totally get this. I have moved up into a bra size where they no longer make padded bras (and actually start trying to market minimizers) and I can't help but feel self-conscious with the fact that there is no extra in there. Nothing to enhance me at all. So I'm not going to judge a dude on this one. Plus if I meet a guy who wears these pants, he can't judge me if I'm wearing a pushup bra! Everyone wins!
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of futuremouse futuremouse
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    Rather than Rock out with your cock out - Do a dance with your junk enhanced!
     Reply
    futuremouse was starred futuremouse was unstarred
    Image of andBegorrah andBegorrah
    10/14/09

    @futuremouse: Bump it before you dry hump it!
     Reply
    andBegorrah was starred andBegorrah was unstarred
    Image of winner winner
    10/14/09

    @futuremouse: Check it in the light to make sure it's alright.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment winner was starred winner was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    10/14/09

    @futuremouse: Give it a shake to make sure it's not fake.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    10/14/09

    @futuremouse: Break it down with the snake in town!
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    10/14/09

    @morninggloria: and @ all: AWESOME. I'm dying ova hea.
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of winner winner
    10/14/09

    @Aesop's Foibles. YES.: Girl I will DROOL if that's his real tool.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment winner was starred winner was unstarred
    Image of Schrodinger's Cat Schrodinger's Cat
    10/14/09

    @futuremouse: Cushion your zipper and rock that big dipper!
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment Schrodinger's Cat was starred Schrodinger's Cat was unstarred
    Image of I, Zombie Normal I, Zombie Normal
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    A dark wash, with wrinkles around the pockets, leading right to the crotch, an extra layer of fabric around the fly, creating a kind of water bra for your little friend.
    This doesn't sound all that impressive, but it does sound more moisture absorbent.
     Reply
    I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred
    Image of Rooo sez BISH PLZ Rooo sez BISH PLZ
    10/14/09

    @I, Zombie Normal: Actually, I'd think the reverse.
    A "water bra"? What if it leaks?
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ was starred Rooo sez BISH PLZ was unstarred
    Image of hortense hortense
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    Is there some weird Freudian aspect to these if women start wearing them as "boyfriend jeans?"
     Reply
    hortense was starred hortense was unstarred
    Image of I, Zombie Normal I, Zombie Normal
    10/14/09

    @hortense: Dude, her package is HUGE!
     Reply
    I, Zombie Normal was starred I, Zombie Normal was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    10/14/09

    @hortense: So much polter-wang.
     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of Schrodinger's Cat Schrodinger's Cat
    10/14/09

    @hortense: Would that then be called "camel saddle"...?
     Reply
    Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment Schrodinger's Cat was starred Schrodinger's Cat was unstarred
    Image of sisipie sisipie
    10/14/09

    In reply to Crotch-Watchers Beware: Calvin Klein Jeans "Enhance" Dudes' Junk
    Whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned, foil-wrapped zucchini? I guess these pants will be easier to get through airport security...
     Reply
    bluebears promoted this comment sisipie was starred sisipie was unstarred
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