Jezebel 
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New York, 4:09 PM
Sun Nov 22
23 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/13/09
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11/13/09
What is empowering is telling women that any decision they make - to be mothers, not to be mothers, to have children naturally, to adopt, to not give a flying fuck about what anybody thinks about any of it except what they know in their heart is right for them - that is to truly empower women. Providing them with yet another way to expend large amounts of money to live up to social pressures - eh, I'm not so sure about that. Yes, many women really do want to be mothers, and I think it's great that there are resources for them - I'm just uncomfortable with how often it seems to be couched in a sales pitch.
And it would help if some medical professionals could refrain from saying "You go girl" while holding out their hand for money. #eggfreezing
11/13/09
And please, no more "you go girl," especially not when aimed at grown-ass women. It reminds me too much of my pink "Get In Shape Girl!" exercise equipment from when I was 7. #eggfreezing
11/13/09
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11/13/09
It's a complicated thing, and for me it just reminds me of people who insist that I'm not related to some of my own relatives, because we do not share DNA.
So, I can totally see why this is empowering for someone who places a premium on having biologically related children and being pregnant themselves. I think my original discomfort stems from the idea that this seems to privilege the actual creation of biological children over any other conception of parenthood. There are lots of ways to become a parent, at any stage of life. This is my personal issue, I recognize, but I just feel very squicky when people talk about extending fertility via very expensive methods like this.
11/13/09
11/13/09
It's wrong of any person to say one way of having a child is any better than any other way, or that having a child is better than not having one, or that not having one is better than having one. And it's really wrong to say that an adopted child is any less legitimate than a biological child. I'm so sorry you have had to put up with ignorant people.
11/13/09
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10/23/09
No it ... wait ... your syntax is confusing. Yes, it would be unrealistic, is the way to say it.
People who are really fixated on having their own baby have to go through a long journey to accept changing their expectations. You can't just switch it on and off.
Your thoughts on this issue are so mainstream they're stereotypical.
10/22/09
How come every time science comes up with something useful and good for millions of people, some reporter has to cry waily waily, we're playing god - nay, the devil!! #wombtransplant
10/22/09
10/22/09
Does that mean MEN can have babies now?!?!
*goes to watch Junior* #wombtransplant
10/22/09
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10/22/09
A. ADOPT. There are so many children on this planet that need loving homes! If you can't easily get pregnant, why put yourself through the risk of an extremely invasive and dangerous organ transplant surgery? Why bring more babies onto this earth? Do you go to the shelter to adopt a puppy or a breeder or puppy mill? (If the latter two, ugh...just ugh). And don't even say "well, a baby is not the same as a puppy." I know that. But I don't think that one life is worth more than another, regardless. That would be speciesism--just like sexism, racism, etc.
B. ANIMAL TESTING. for real? It is not the rabbit's fault that some women cannot get pregnant. It is not a rat's fault that we pollute our water systems with MeHg. I am taking a required toxicology class right now and the animal testing nonsense is unbelievable. If you really just need to see if a womb transplant works--put it in a human. We are so anthropocentric it kills me.
/rant. I know some people won't agree, and comment on, but I had to get it off of my chest! #wombtransplant
10/22/09
If adopting a baby were as easy as adopting a puppy there would not be so many children who never find a home. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
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10/22/09
Adoption, on the other hand starts at $20,000. US adoption is difficult and the birth mother can take the child away (up to a year I believe). Foreign adoptions are more expensive (let's say $30-$40K), but the adoptions are more or less set in stone. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
I have to admit, I have no desire to have children. I do not see what's appealing about it. I think that if more people REALLY thought about what it means to have kids, they might not? Or they might try adoption first? Again, I know that my thoughts on this are far from the mainstream. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
Besides, why is it any more evil or selfish to use ART instead of adoption than it is to get pregnant the regular old way? Why do so many people assume that couple with fertility issues have a special responsibility to wrangle with the nightmarish adoption system? #wombtransplant
10/22/09
10/22/09
Yes--this. If we're pushing for all the world's children to be adopted, it's not up to infertile couples or same sex couples to do it.
@pumpkinseed: Pushing adoption on infertile couples is insensitive and, frankly, infuriating--especially when one follows it up by saying they don't even know why anyone would want kids. If you can't understand the complexities of what an infertile couple is going through, and you don't understand their basic desire for a child, please keep your opinions to yourself. (ETA: Not on a comment board, obviously, but more in the general vein of this discussion. Obviously, on a comment section of a blog, you're free to express it.)
ETA: I realize you're making a general point about adoption by infertile couples and not talking to a specific person who is going through infertility, but it's important to realize that this is a deeply personal and very, very painful topic for most people, and most don't share their trials outside a close network of friends and family.
10/22/09
I know a couple who have gone the IVF route before considering adoption. I'm sure other people try adoption first. And I understand that both options can be extremely wretching and expensive.
Again, I don't see what's appealing about having children--so maybe I just really can't wrap my head around it. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
10/22/09
Everybody is so knee-jerky about this. Perhaps we should start doing something about it. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
For a lot of people, including me, IVF is covered by insurance. So why would I spend $30K on adoption when it is faster and cheaper to do IVF? If the answer is that I have some obligation to do so, why doesn't a couple who can conceive "naturally" have the same obligation?
I don't understand the point you're trying to make with this: I think that if more people REALLY thought about what it means to have kids, they might not? Or they might try adoption first?
I agree that some people, maybe even a lot, don't think about what having a kid is really like before they have them. So, sure, maybe if more people put more thought into it, they wouldn't get pregnant, or would wait to get pregnant. But why would that have anything to do with "trying adoption first?" #wombtransplant
10/22/09
This doesn't invalidate your opinion, or right to express it of course. But you probably shouldn't be surpised if people unload some major hostility on you. Frankly, the view that couples, and especially women, who pursue ART instead of adopting are just selfish, spoiled and self-indulgent is very mainstream, and the families who have suffered through infertility are probably very tired of hearing it. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
10/22/09
Also, my original post was regarding womb transplant, not ART in general. And I honestly don't think that ART is any more or less selfish than trying naturally. Again, too many babies, bad adoption policies. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
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10/22/09
Adoption is more invasive to me. No one comes and checks your house or calls your boss when you get IVF. #wombtransplant
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10/22/09
Resposible fertility doctors will put 1, 2, or 3 embryos back in depending on the woman's age and history of miscarriage etc. I know more than a dozen women who have had IVF and none have conceived more than twins. Most only conceive one baby. #wombtransplant
10/22/09
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10/22/09
As I was reading this, the first thing I thought was, this is really only potentially useful for a very small percentage of the population - very small. And the concept of needing to be on lifelong drugs raises a few red flags in terms of carrying a healthy pregnancy with the new womb. #wombtransplant
10/23/09
Maybe by the time this thing is developed for humans, they'l be able to grow us our own replacement parts from our stem cells.
10/22/09