It is so inhuman that people fight so hard to deny other people rights that would have zero effect on them, and that they themselves enjoy. So depressing. #gaymarriagemaine
Referendum 71 "The Everything But Marriage Act" has a slim lead in Washington State! Why isn't there any national coverage of this, if it passes we will be the first state to give gay couples these kinds of rights.
As a straight ally, I don't want to co-opt any LGBT person's legitimate frustration today, which like election day when the news about Prop 8 hit here in CA, was devastating for anyone with any sense of justice...but I firmly believe we'll get there.
It should be now, of course. No one should have to wait for equality. It's disgusting and unfair that civil rights issues like this take as long as they do, have as many setbacks as they do, and require so much work and frustration and disillusion.
There's no way to change every mind, but it's heartbreaking to see something that should never, ever, be up to popular vote...be legitimized in some way and go counter to the basic tenants of our system. Which is that the rights of the minority should NEVER be subject to the whims of the majority. That is a fundamental issue in our system. The fact that many people seem to believe they have the right to decide what version of equality other people get to have saddens me. Something is broken in anyone who believes that.
I wish I could tell my LGBT friends that this will change soon. That this fight will not have to go on for years, or decades, and we'll see this in our lifetimes. I hope that we will. I think we move for change in the world faster than we used to. I can only hope we do. And continue to fight for it.
Bigotry will, I think, always exist. But we can't ever let it dictate our lives and access to equality. So we'll always have to fight. And though it's frustrating and discouraging...it's worth it.
@tiredfairy: Well at least it was only 53% not ... 83%, you know? 20 years from now people are going to look at events like this and say, "Grandma & Grandpa, WHAT THE FUCK were you thinking??" #gaymarriagemaine
On one last note, these were my favorite factual retorts to the Yes on 1 arguments of "protect marriage and the family in Maine:"
Maine has the 2nd highest divorce rate in the country (only beaten by Nevada).
Maine allows first cousins to marry.
Maine recognizes the Universal Life Church (that free site on the internet) for marriages. And lawyers. Virtually anyone can perform a marriage ceremony in Maine.
30% of Maine children are born out of wedlock.
Now, I'm not concerned by any of those except the cousins part, but what pristine institution of marriage are the Yes on 1 people referring to? #gaymarriagemaine
@quailpop: Why are you concerned about the 'cousins' part? Most countries allow first cousins to marry, genetic problems in offspring of cousin-marriages are very rare, and I've seen estimates as high as one in three marriages in the world occur between cousins. #gaymarriagemaine
@Vidya108: Yep. The chances of having genetic issues are about 2-3% for any given couple, and with first cousins it's only 4-6% (2nd or more cousins drop back down to the average). With genetic counselling, I see no reason for concern--except that I'd be super squicked to marry any of MY cousins. I expect a lot of people feel that way about my being in a same-sex relationship! #gaymarriagemaine
@Her Grace: Ok, it still sounds like a small percent, but 4-6% is actually two times 2-3%. Twice as likely. You are 100% more likely to have a genetic disorder if your parents are first cousins than if they aren't. I find that significant.
Nevertheless, I see you are right to point out that I am prejudiced against first cousins marrying and making babies. #gaymarriagemaine
@quailpop: Some communities have much higher rates than average, like Ashkenazi Jews or the Amish, but they still marry and have kids. I guess I just can't see a problem as long as there's genetic counseling so the couple knows what they're getting into (and can possibly decide to use IUI or IVF so they can screen their embryos)--frankly, I wish it was less expensive so everyone could do it. #gaymarriagemaine
The funny thing is, we aren't waiting for bigots to change their minds. We're waiting for them to die out, literally. There are bigots in every generation, but I think the majority are older people who don't get that the evil lies spread before referendums are just that: lies. #gaymarriagemaine
@midwestdesigner: I thought of that earlier, and it made me incredibly sad. Sad that I momentarily looked forward to a time when "they" are all gone, and sad that it has to be that way, that so many people are so closed-minded and scared and unwilling to admit that they're afraid and ignorant. #gaymarriagemaine
I don't get why this even gets to be on the ballot. I live in a place where there is still Klan- they don't get to put "Ban Black people" on the ballot. We don't get to vote on everything we do or don't like. #gaymarriagemaine
I'm probably of the unpopular opinion that people should be fighting for civil unions rather than marriage due to idiots still latching on that what they consider the true definition of marriage.
Fight for the rights associated with marriage, go for civil unions, worry about semantics later.
And hopefully they go to SCOTUS for this. I'm tired having to read shit like this every year. Leaving the rights of the minority to the majority is just pointless. #gaymarriagemaine
@MmSM: While I personally think that marriages should be taken out of the legal system entirely and replaced with civil unions (those who want to get married can, but we take the religious ties out of the law)... this will probably never happen. It's not just semantics; it's the symbolism of being accepted as more than a deviant or a second-class citizen. Marriage-- not just the rights associated with it-- is the highest form of honor placed on a relationship by society and the law, and we want to be acknowledged as equals in that. #gaymarriagemaine
@myevilempire: I hear you. For example, our state has registered domestic partnerships for gay couples instead of marriage. During the family law section of bar review, our instructor kept having to say "marriage - and registered domestic partnerships" every time we talked about marriage law. Having to trip your tongue over some poorly-understood, clunky phraseology when "marriage" is universally understood to mean the same thing (and is simpler!) is part of those intangible benefits that are denied to second-class citizens when a system is run separate-but-equally. #gaymarriagemaine
@MmSM: We can't worry about semantics later. If that later ever comes, bigots will be able to say, "But you have all the rights of marriage, why do you need that word? It's our special word!" #gaymarriagemaine
When will people learn that justice and equality is NOT dictated by democracy. It is dictated by basic human rights which is irrefutable.
I'm a heterosexual woman and I don't see how gay marriage would send the US to hell in a handbasket. I have yet to hear a cogent argument against gay marriage that doesn't basically boil down to "traditional marriage would be destroyed" and/or "the bible says so!" #gaymarriagemaine
@Ms.RantyPants: i agree completely. if segregation and black disenfranchisement had been put to a vote in alabama in 1964, it would have been overwhelmingly upheld. the majority does not have the right to limit the rights of a minority group. that is why they are called rights. #gaymarriagemaine
Maybe I'm thinking on too much of a "duh" level in terms of same-sex marriage, but why do the religious folks give a shit? They're not asking to be married in their church; they're asking to be legally married. Aren't these the same people who probably feel that only a church marriage under God is a legitimate marriage? And I imagine that these are also people who probably would look down on a civil ceremony for even their straight family and friends? #gaymarriagemaine
@rodmanstreet: There is actually a reason for it (sort of)--the power to legitimize sexual contact has been given to the state by churches. Virtually all Christian churches recognize the legitimacy of the quickest quickie Vegas marriage while not recognizing the legitimacy of the fanciest church marriage that takes place without a legal license. This is pretty much irrelevant these days, except to the small proportion of US Christians who genuinely believe that no one should be having sex outside of marriage. That small minority may feel that having the state legitimize something that is explicitly forbidden in their church doctrines will thereby nullify or corrupt the state's authority to perform the ecclesiastical function of marriage.
This is an argument that can only be used by those churches with a rigorous policy of virginity until marriage and fidelity thereafter, but there are still a few of them around.
The solution here is for those churches to stop recognizing civil marriages without a prior or subsequent church marriage, not for those churches to seriously expect the state to look after the religious interest of a small community in preference to the civil rights of a larger community. Especially when the state has explicitly removed itself from the business of religion.
But I think that this (semi-understandable) ecclesiastical argument is bolstered by prejudice against gay people, political opposition of a group as traditionally likely to vote Democrat as the religious are to vote Republican, and a desire on the part of churches to unify their membership against what is perceived as the corrupting influence of the larger society.
I wish they'd go back to persecuting video games and Marilyn Manson, don't you? #gaymarriagemaine
This article is needlessly dismissive of a valid point. Acceptance of abortion was trending up pre-Roe, and there was no organized, national anti-choice movement. Roe mobilized that base, polarized people who did not previously have strong feelings, and made it a national issue. SCOTUS that refused to back up Roe whole-heartedly and allowed it be chipped away, resulting in the current situation--where abortion is accessible it would have been accessible without Roe, and where it is functionally completely inaccessible now Roe does no good. The same is true of the death penalty--it was very rarely given and even more rarely carried out before the Supreme Court made an issue of it. (It's trending back down again, but there was a big spike in law-making and death penalty use). While there are, of course, a lot of compelling reasons to agitate for change *now*, that non-democratic-process change can come at a fairly dear price and it's worth keeping in mind when strategizing or criticizing those who point that out. #gaymarriagemaine
This isn't gonna happen by referendum, it's going to have to happen from court rulings. People are bigoted assholes, unfortunately. It's ridiculous that in CA, WA, and Maine we're leaving this up to citizens.
I personally cannot fathom why someone would want to take away another person's rights. Almost makes me want to sign that petition in CA to put a new prop on the ballot to ban divorce. Take THAT, you right-wing hypocrites!
But guess what Americans? You may have many many rights, but you DON'T have the right to deny civil rights to others! Check out Loving v. Virginia!
These "traditional" Americans seem to have forgotten that the tyranny of majority cannot rule America at the expense of the minority, a true and real basis of the creation of the Constitution.
Let's quote Jefferson: "All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression."
Ug, the lawyer in me wants to strangle these people with the Constitution and its Amendments! #gaymarriagemaine
@meritxell: an erotic life: Well, the Bible does say "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," which I think is pretty applicable here. But the opponents of equality don't really want to hear those parts of the holy book, do they? #gaymarriagemaine
"Conservatives pride themselves on their skepticism, and generally dismiss liberals as soft-headed Utopians. But in so many ways, political conservatism is Utopianism for the powerful. It isn't broadly skeptical of human nature, so much as it's broadly skeptical of people its agents don't particularly like. Hence the sense that Americans are intrinsically "good people," that this country "is the best nation that ever existed in history," that the South is home to "the greatest people that have ever trod the earth," and that the murder of four little girls in Birmingham was the work of a "Communist" or "crazed Negro," which had "set back the cause of white people."
Hence the notion that those voting against gay marriage, are not actually, in the main, motivated by bigotry, but a belief in tradition and family. But very few people would actually ever describe themselves as bigots. We think we know so much about ourselves. This is a country--like many countries--which is deeply riven by ethnic bias, gender discrimination. And yet we don't seem to know any of the agents of that discrimination." #gaymarriagemaine
Also the question on the ballot was probably confusing. It set up so of you for for the proposition, you're against gay marriage and visversa. #gaymarriagemaine
@SonicNapoleonic: Most of the ballot initiatives in various states have been phrased in a very confusing way. I had a co-worker in Idaho ask me to spell it out for her: does this initiative prevent gay people from getting married or not? Unfortunately, once I told her that it did, she cheerfully informed me that she was voting for it. Alas. #gaymarriagemaine
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It should be now, of course. No one should have to wait for equality. It's disgusting and unfair that civil rights issues like this take as long as they do, have as many setbacks as they do, and require so much work and frustration and disillusion.
There's no way to change every mind, but it's heartbreaking to see something that should never, ever, be up to popular vote...be legitimized in some way and go counter to the basic tenants of our system. Which is that the rights of the minority should NEVER be subject to the whims of the majority. That is a fundamental issue in our system. The fact that many people seem to believe they have the right to decide what version of equality other people get to have saddens me. Something is broken in anyone who believes that.
I wish I could tell my LGBT friends that this will change soon. That this fight will not have to go on for years, or decades, and we'll see this in our lifetimes. I hope that we will. I think we move for change in the world faster than we used to. I can only hope we do. And continue to fight for it.
Bigotry will, I think, always exist. But we can't ever let it dictate our lives and access to equality. So we'll always have to fight. And though it's frustrating and discouraging...it's worth it.
Don't give up.
11/04/09
11/04/09
Maine has the 2nd highest divorce rate in the country (only beaten by Nevada).
Maine allows first cousins to marry.
Maine recognizes the Universal Life Church (that free site on the internet) for marriages. And lawyers. Virtually anyone can perform a marriage ceremony in Maine.
30% of Maine children are born out of wedlock.
Now, I'm not concerned by any of those except the cousins part, but what pristine institution of marriage are the Yes on 1 people referring to? #gaymarriagemaine
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Nevertheless, I see you are right to point out that I am prejudiced against first cousins marrying and making babies. #gaymarriagemaine
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Fight for the rights associated with marriage, go for civil unions, worry about semantics later.
And hopefully they go to SCOTUS for this. I'm tired having to read shit like this every year. Leaving the rights of the minority to the majority is just pointless. #gaymarriagemaine
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As a liberal Jewish girl, I love it. LOVE. IT. #gaymarriagemaine
11/04/09
I'm a heterosexual woman and I don't see how gay marriage would send the US to hell in a handbasket. I have yet to hear a cogent argument against gay marriage that doesn't basically boil down to "traditional marriage would be destroyed" and/or "the bible says so!" #gaymarriagemaine
11/04/09
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11/04/09
This is an argument that can only be used by those churches with a rigorous policy of virginity until marriage and fidelity thereafter, but there are still a few of them around.
The solution here is for those churches to stop recognizing civil marriages without a prior or subsequent church marriage, not for those churches to seriously expect the state to look after the religious interest of a small community in preference to the civil rights of a larger community. Especially when the state has explicitly removed itself from the business of religion.
But I think that this (semi-understandable) ecclesiastical argument is bolstered by prejudice against gay people, political opposition of a group as traditionally likely to vote Democrat as the religious are to vote Republican, and a desire on the part of churches to unify their membership against what is perceived as the corrupting influence of the larger society.
I wish they'd go back to persecuting video games and Marilyn Manson, don't you? #gaymarriagemaine
11/04/09
11/04/09
I personally cannot fathom why someone would want to take away another person's rights. Almost makes me want to sign that petition in CA to put a new prop on the ballot to ban divorce. Take THAT, you right-wing hypocrites!
But guess what Americans? You may have many many rights, but you DON'T have the right to deny civil rights to others! Check out Loving v. Virginia!
These "traditional" Americans seem to have forgotten that the tyranny of majority cannot rule America at the expense of the minority, a true and real basis of the creation of the Constitution.
Let's quote Jefferson: "All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression."
Ug, the lawyer in me wants to strangle these people with the Constitution and its Amendments! #gaymarriagemaine
11/04/09
11/04/09
11/04/09
[ta-nehisicoates.theatlantic.com]
"Conservatives pride themselves on their skepticism, and generally dismiss liberals as soft-headed Utopians. But in so many ways, political conservatism is Utopianism for the powerful. It isn't broadly skeptical of human nature, so much as it's broadly skeptical of people its agents don't particularly like. Hence the sense that Americans are intrinsically "good people," that this country "is the best nation that ever existed in history," that the South is home to "the greatest people that have ever trod the earth," and that the murder of four little girls in Birmingham was the work of a "Communist" or "crazed Negro," which had "set back the cause of white people."
Hence the notion that those voting against gay marriage, are not actually, in the main, motivated by bigotry, but a belief in tradition and family. But very few people would actually ever describe themselves as bigots. We think we know so much about ourselves. This is a country--like many countries--which is deeply riven by ethnic bias, gender discrimination. And yet we don't seem to know any of the agents of that discrimination." #gaymarriagemaine
11/04/09
11/04/09