dirt bag
- Ashlee Simpson wed Pete Wentz on Saturday at her parents' house in Encino, CA. Afterwards, she and guests partied at an Alice In Wonderland-themed reception. Sister Jessica was the maid of honor and brought Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. You know, Jessica had an Alice In Wonderland-themed birthday party on episode 9 of Newlyweds: Nick And Jessica. And she didn't even know who the Mad Hatter was. [Rush & Molloy]
- The bride wore an ivory lace gown by Monique Lhuillier. The groom's bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring bearer. Papa Joe Simpson officiated. [People]
- Jessica was "subdued" during the wedding and "did not look happy." Ashlee "managed to hide her pregnancy pretty well." [E!]
- Ashlee did tell wedding guests that she is, indeed, pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
- The rehearsal dinner was at Jessica's house. [E!]
- Kate Hudson is getting over her breakup with Owen Wilson by hanging out with Lance Armstrong. They had dinner Friday and Saturday night in Austin, Texas. [People]
- Goldie Hawn says daughter Kate is "doing really well." [People]
- Angelina says she's explained to her kids that she has twins in her belly, so now Zahara says "she's got little piggies and she has to eat brownies because the piggies need to eat brownies." And Pax "says he's got monkeys." According to this paper, Brad and Angelina are spending £8 million to ensure the safe arrival of the twins. [Mirror]
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Loose Lips
Britney Spears and
Mel Gibson are currently en route to Costa Rica
on vacation together. No, you are not tripping on shrooms, this is real. Jesus saves, you guys. •
Kate Hudson and
Owen Wilson:
Dunzo. For good this time? •
People magazine is shelling out over a million dollars for Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz
wedding pictures. That kind of dough buys a lot of flat irons. • Howard Stern's fiancée says they are not
tying the knot this weekend, despite rumors to the contrary. • Ooh, the
poster for
The X-Files movie is cool! •
Shania Twain and husband Mutt Langeare
separating after 14 years of marriage, sob. Man, I feel like a-cryin'. [
ET,
People,
TMZ,
Us,
ONTD,
People]
midweek madness
Welcome back to
Midweek Madness, in which we search for actual news amongst the blaring headlines of the weekly celebrity magazines. Today
Jessica Simpson has earned herself
two covers for being (maybe) dumped by Tony Romo and (maybe) jealous that John Mayer is with Jennifer Aniston.
Reese Witherspoon gets a cover because she
might marry Jake Gyllenhaal.
Nicole Richie gets a cover because her baby daddy Joel Madden was seen sitting next to
Lindsay Lohan. And
Brad Pitt gets a cover and the headline "Brad Walks Away," because he is pictured, um, walking away. Intern Sharon assists in our thirsty quest for the quench of juicy gossip in
In Touch,
Life & Style,
Star,
OK! and
Us.
More »
dirt bag
- Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson: Engaged??? Apparently she has a huge new rock on her finger. A source says, "He picked out the ring and went for the biggest one he could find. He was nervous about proposing but Kate was thrilled and the whole thing was really emotional." Guess Owen's rough times are over? [The Sun]
- John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston spent another weekend together in Miami, eating salads poolside and making out. [People]
- Jenna Bush got married. [People]
- Dennis Farina was arrested at LAX for carrying a loaded, unregistered, .22 caliber, semi-automatic pistol in his briefcase. Farina is a former cop but, uh, you can't bring a gun on a plane. [Reuters]
- Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus to pose for Playboy. When she's old enough. This is what happens. Don't you feel like weeping? [The Sun]
- Lindsay Lohan: Seen crying at Crown Bar in West Hollywood after a fight with girlfriend Sam Ronson, awwww. [Page Six]
- But LL was all smiles when she worked the crowd at the Wango Tango concert and introduced Snoop Dogg. When I say Wango you say Tango! [TMZ]
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dirt bag
- Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
- You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
- Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
- Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
- Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]
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dirt bag
- Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
- Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
- So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]
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dirt bag
- [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
- Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
- Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]
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dirt bag
- Did Mariah Carey have an eye job or something? She won't walk down the red carpet without her sunglasses. If so, it's probably not her first procedure; her nose and boobs seem to have changed in the past few years. [Page Six]
- Also: Mariah's been wearing a giant ring that gossipers want you to think is engagement-esque. And she's been hanging with Nick Cannon. [People]
- David Bowie and Iman's 7-year-old daughter, Alexandria, listens to Hilary Duff songs, at which point "David just leaves the room," Iman says. "He thinks she should be listening to underground music." [ONTD]
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dirt bag
- So. Fergie has recorded the theme song for the Sex And The City Movie and it is fucking insane. Seriously. It's a fast-paced track that uses the original instrumental music from the show, with Fergie sing-rapping lyrics like: "Shopping for labels, shopping for love... Manolo and Louis is all I'm thinking of... Emotional baggage just replace them with Dior... Let's stop chasing the boys and shop some more..." It does not appear to be a joke. You can listen to the nauseating ditty here. Just a warning: You may puke or cry or both. [People]
- Heidi Montag won't be at the White House Correspondents dinner because Spencer Pratt got involved and demanded first-class tickets for both of them — even though he wasn't invited. When he was denied, Spencer canceled Heidi's appearance because the event "wasn't A-listy enough." Meanwhile, Pamela Anderson, Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, Hayden Panettierre, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe and Donatella Versace will all be there. Aren't you proud to be an American? [Page Six]
- When Ellen DeGeneres asked Ashlee Simpson,"Are you or are you not pregnant?" Ashlee said: "Well, that has been going on for quite a while. That is something that I choose personally not to discuss." In other words, yes. [People]
- Colin Firth and Helen Hunt were shooting an intimate scene together when someone farted. [The Sun]
- Amy Winehouse got drunk and tried to headbutt some dude. [Mirror]
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dirt bag
- LOL headline of the day: "Jay-Z Leaves New Wife Beyoncé At Home To Watch Basketball." OMG you guys, he went somewhere without her! [Mirror]
- Is Beyoncé wearing gloves so we can't see her damn wedding ring? [Concrete Loop]
- Amy Winehouse is the headlining act this Saturday at a festival on the Isle Of Wight. Will she shout out Blake Incarcerated? [Mirror]
- Rosie O'Donnell talked about her time on The View on The Martha Stewart Show yesterday: "There was people there telling me what to do. There was a little Republican who scared me." [People]
- A fence along the Mexican border "bears all the credibility and seriousness of flying saucers from Mars or leprechauns. Or any manner of malicious, paranoid superstition. In other words, it's bullshit. It's a complete disaster. It's an act of fascist madness." — Tommy Lee Jones. [Page Six]
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dirt bag
- Are not-so-secret couple Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds on the rocks? Sources say he wants to get hitched (and have kids) and she's not ready. Not ready. For Ryan Reynolds. It just doesn't seem right. [News.com.au]
- Naomi Campbell is banned from British Airways! How ever will she travel? Wait! Virgin Atlantic says she is welcome to fly with them. [Mirror]
- Brad Pitt tried to get a 95% discount on a place to stay while shooting a film in Texas — not because he's got mouths to feed, but because the film is a small-budget indie. He does have a lot of mouths to feed, though. [MSNBC]
- Meanwhile, Saint Angelina is on Capitol Hill with her brother James Haven, lobbying for Global Action for Children. [Politico]
- Is Beyoncé pregnant? Some are saying it was a shotgun wedding...just like her sister's? [Rush & Molloy]
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Jezebel
