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Evolution

Monkey Business Primates — they're just like us! Following a very thorough and kinda weird study, German scientists report that female monkeys shout and make lots of noise during sex in order help male monkeys climax more quickly. It would seem as though we haven't evolved that much, huh? [Live Science]

According to British evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry, 1,000 years from now humanity will split into two distinct subspecies. The descendants of the upper classes will be "tall, slim, attractive, intelligent, and creative," while the "under class" will have "evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures." The women of the "upper class" humans will "develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features." Though the species will have glossier hair, they will have lost the "emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect." Sounds like Paris Hilton to us! [BBC News]

pitch perfect

Women Make Dads Out Of Dudes With Deep Voices

Men with deeper, more "masculine" voices have more children than those with higher-pitched voices, according to a report from Biology Letters. Researchers from Harvard conducted a study on the Hazda, a group of hunter-gatherers in Tanzania, because the Hadza live much like our ancestors did, without the trappings of modern technology (meaning: without birth-control). Voice-recordings were collected from 49 men and 52 women and the reproductive history of each person was analyzed, resulting in the finding that the deeper a man's voice, the more likely he was to have fathered many children. ("We found that for women, the voice pitch was not connected to reproduction," adds Harvard anthropologist Coren Apicella.) More »

broadsides

Southwest Airlines Has Beef With Double-D's

  • Wow, "Keith" must be working some serious overtime! Southwest Airlines gave another woman hell for wearing "revealing" clothing, just a week after a woman was nearly booted off a flight for wearing a mini-skirt. Setara Qassim was forced to wear a blanket by a flight attendant because she thought Setara's top was too low cut. Dude, is it just us, or does Southwest seriously have a problem with girls with ample breasts? [NBC6.net]
  • Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight during pregnancy furthers the chances that your unborn baby will grow into a healthy adult. Memo to Nicole Richie: Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight ups your chances of being a healthy adult too! [Newsweek]
  • A Top Chef contestant and a small group of her friends were beaten outside of Long Island bar in what appears to be a hate-crime. Josie Smith-Malave, who is gay, says she hopes the perpetrators will be caught and prosecuted on felony hate-crime charges. [Local6.com]
More »

theories of evolution

Pink Lady Scientists Full Of Crap

Scientists at The University of Newcastle claim there may be an evolutionary reason why women "prefer" red and pink — while boys prefer blue, reports the Times of London. "The explanation might date back to humans' hunter-gatherer days, when women were the primary gatherers and would have benefited from an ability to home in on ripe, red fruits," said a researcher.
While blue was liked universally, this preference stood out among men, the study found. This, too, could have deep-seated natural roots: water that appears blue is more likely to be clean and the colour is also an indicator of fine weather.
We're not scientists, but we'd like to call bullshit on this "study." First: Only men are into good weather and clean drinking water? Second: The participants in this study were British students and Chinese students studying in Britain... students who were clearly socialized and steered toward liking certain colors from an early age. More »

so easy a caveman could do her

'New York Times' Unlocks Evolutionary Secret Behind Lindsay Lohan

Muffin top: It's what separates us from the animals! According to a groundbreaking story in this morning's New York Times:
Indeed, evolutionary biologists have proposed that our relative plumpness compared with our closest nonhuman kin, the chimpanzee, may help explain our relative braininess.
Oh, think of the implications! Then alongside that piece, another piece suggests that our evolution as a species is evident in "middle-class values" like an appreciation of nonviolence and a willingness to save money. By George, I think they're trying to tell us something! More »

To anyone who does not believe we are descended from apes, we present to you this latest bit of intelligent-ape news: Baboons are eating progesterone-packed plums as a method of contraception. See, even great apes don't always want to be pregnant! Also, can we get our hands on some of those magical plums ourselves? The Pill makes us all sorts of crazy. [Cosmos Magazine]

theories of evolution

The Easy-Bake Slash & Burn

The big news on the morning news shows today: Apparently, domestically-minded little kids are sticking their grubby 'lil hands into Easy-Bake ovens and getting burned, which has prompted manufacturer Hasbro to issue a recall for the 2nd time in 6 months. CBS News reports that "there have been 249 reports of children getting their hands or fingers caught, including 77 reports of burns, 16 of which were reported as second and third-degree burns. There was one report of a burn serious enough to require a partial finger amputation to a 5-year-old girl." Ugh. Okay, this is totally unfair (we have a lingering resentment that our parents refused to buy us Easy-Bakes as children) but what is it with kids these days? Are they more fragile than they used to be? More stupid? Spoiled? Or were the Easy-Bakes of our era — like so much else — simply better made? More »