Jezebel 
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New York, 7:12 AM
Thu Nov 26
64 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/22/09
He is 6'2" and weighs 168. Dork.
11/23/09
11/22/09
Went to the doctor at the beginning of the summer with talk of anxiety/depression and binge-eating problems. I said I thought I was a binger. He asked me if I purged. I said no, but it was like bulimia without the purging. He said then I was just normal, having the same problems as anyone. He then said I should eat better and exercise more to make the anxiety/depression go away.
He trivialized my problems and made me feel like I was just lazy. I knew it wasn't just simple over-eating because I know the psychological component that goes along with it. The self-hatred, the self-punishment, the pain both physical and emotional, the secrets -- eating the middle of the night, trying to hide the evidence --, the bargaining, the self-deception and denial, the crying, the speed, the desperation.
If this were legitimized I wouldn't have to rely on vague euphemisms with friends, or persuasion techniques with therapists to try to get them to take this shit seriously.
(I think the doctor's a lost cause though, seeing as he's the same one that just told me I'd "get over it" after I asked for a therapy refferal after getting out of an abusive relationship that involved stopping a suicide.)
11/22/09
SIGH. Hate doctors sometimes.
11/22/09
How would you feel if someone close to you binge ate? You would want to help them, yah? Well, then that answers the question.
I'm not trying to trivialize this issue in any way, shape, or form. I read the article and I'm shocked that the DSM doesn't recognize this as a disorder. I'm shocked and saddened. And angry that someone might not get the help they need.
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Not to mention the intense shame that comes with Bulimia, which is a big differentiating characteristic between it and Anorexia. Not only does society reward control and, really, the physical changes that come along with controlling one's intake of food.
I have a close friend whose sister was raped in college. For the past 6 or so years she has gained a great deal of weight due to compulsive overeating. This, in large part, was due to her wanting to repel men around her and control her body. Really, in the opposite way that an Anorexic would. No one could tell her how she should appear, she decided it for herself, and while it was damaging, it did empower her to a certain degree.
There's no difference, in the overarching issues, between the three ED scenarios, in my opinion.
11/22/09
It's also very interesting to bring sexuality into the mix. I feel the urge to revert to anorexic and restrictive behaviors to guard against feeling objectified (if I don't show secondary sex characteristics, men won't bother me).
I love that this thread has exhibited a level of compassion and empathy from commentors who've struggled with different and multiple EDs.
11/22/09
Yes, Jezzies are great for the compassion and empathy :-)
11/22/09
I understand that completely. A large part of my motivation to be anorexic in the past has been in an effort to "loose my breasts". As it turns out, my breasts are very dense (that is a greater gland to fat ratio) so loosing weight makes almost no difference in my large breast size. I've longed for a breast reduction since I was 12, in part because of the physical discomfort, but mostly because of embarasment over my sexuality (or how I'm sexually perceived by others.) I feel "exposed" even when wearing a turtle-neck. I've suffered quite a lot of sexual abuse in my life. I know this is a huge factor in my negative issues with my body.
I really sympathize with you.
And I too am so glad for these discussions on Jezebel. This is part of what makes it such a special website.
11/22/09
11/22/09
Having a label is more important than a lot of people think it is. It validates the problems and externalizes them to some extent. It's not just all in your head, you're not just making it up or out of your mind. Having a label for what you're dealing with gives you something tangible to grasp and to work with. It stops being something nebulous that's floating around in your brain and becomes a simple fact about your life that can be summarily dealt with.
Out of curiosity, how did relationships fit into ED and recovery for other people? If anyone else was in a relationship while they were either in the midst of or recovering from ED, how did that work for you? You'd think it'd be some kind of external validation, but not quite, and I'm just curious to hear others' thoughts on this.
Sorry Hortense, if my question is too OT!
11/22/09
A year or so after I started dating my first and only boyfriend. He's gone through periods of being almost ready to quit and upset since I can't really look at food in a normal way, but tried to be understanding.
Occasionally my fear and disgust about sex will carry over to him, and that causes a lot of tension, but I'm learning to look at it with him differently than just "ew, guy who wants to touch me," since it's out of love and not objectification/primal urges.
FYI, I have never been sexually or otherwise abused, but I think my feelings about sex stem from wanting to revert to childhood in a sense with the ED. I can't imagine dealing with abuse, so I admire your strength. Many hugs from me!
11/23/09
I'm not sure how to handle it. I'd rather manage one thing at a time. I'm going to a counseling group and in a few months I'll be in a home where I can deal with my ED exclusively. In the meantime, it's like I'm living two lives...super-confident Dr. Girlfriend, and terrified girl with an ED.
I'm so thankful that I have a place to share my frustrations, and to hear the stories of all my fellow Jezzies.
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11/22/09
I was anorexic a few years ago, and I still have almost all of the mental debris floating around in my head. Of course I wouldn't be diagnosed as anorexic anymore because my weight is pretty normal. However, over the past year or so I've had trouble with binge eating on occasion and bouts of crippling depression. I do not enjoy the food, but I do it anyway...and I think I have pretty strong willpower when it comes to most things. I recognize that this eating issue is definitely psychological...a form of self-sabotage and punishment.
People may think anorexia is self punishment, but I don't think so. Most former sufferers will tell you that the feeling of hunger and restriction is sickeningly empowering. The binge eating, though, makes me feel miserable.
Long winded novella aside, binge eating is definitely more than an issue of "low will power." Take it from someone who knows a whole lot about control.
11/22/09
Binge eating should definitely be considered an eating disorder. At one point I actually went to my college library, took out a psychology book, and tried to diagnose myself. So many times I felt even worse because not only was my whole life a mess, but in the hierarchy of eating disorders, I couldn't even be a *real* one. It's like, not only are you fucked up, but you're not even a *good* kind of fucked-up (and I mean that cynically, to show the type of mindset I was in back then). Obviously, anorexia is a sick thing to aspire to, but at the time I felt very confused and hopeless about the fact that I didn't know what was medically wrong with me.
Weight doesn't tell the whole story. I'm skinnier now, as a healthy adult, than I was binging and purging 4 times a day.
11/22/09
I'm a college freshman now...it can certainly be a jarring experience.
#tips
11/22/09
I know a number of people who have been diagnosed with EDs. (As far as I know) they've all recovered and are not in any immediate or short-term physical danger. They all have returned to relatively normal eating patterns.
But they do not, nor is it likely will they ever, have normal relationships with food. If someone can be an alcoholic even if they don't drink, why can't someone have an eating disorder even if they aren't showing symptoms of disordered eating? It seems to me that my friends with the most severe histories (almost dying etc) still visibly struggle with eating every. fucking. day. Even my best friend, who is one of the healthiest people I know, has to force herself to be healthy. It's almost as if some of the control that she had exerted on her body while she stopped eating has been diverted to control her eating disorder, and she actively and almost obsessively controls herself to not not-eat. Does this make sense? EDs aren't like the flu. You don't just get over it.
This isn't directed at you, of course. I'm just thinking about how patients are dealt with by the medical profession, and I find it frustrating. At any rate, I'm glad you're recovering/recovered, and I hope you're taking care of yourself.
11/22/09
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11/22/09
Yeah, I kind of meant that as a sarcastic comment. Our culture is so obsessed with appearance only that people will look at binge eaters and say "but you're skinny!" or at recovered anorexics who still struggle and say "but you look healthy!"
11/22/09
#tips
11/22/09
That.
I'd like to say I understand the fear-of-malpractice-based rationale for the first part, but ... I struggle with it. And the second part just makes me ill.
What is "willpower" related to if not comparative percentages of neurotransmitters -- which, it's been proven, can be affected by carbohydrate intake?
*headdesk*
2) Cases of anorexia can be missed by diagnosticians who work strictly from the DSM- IV. Those who don't fall below 18 BMI but display all other diagnostic symptoms potentially not only won't receive treatment, but can suffer from the lovely experience of having their treatment providers squinting skeptically at them as they recount their symptoms in excruciating detail, having painfully overcome societal inhibitions to raise them in the first place, since women are always supposed to be cheerful and never complain about anything. Completely demoralizing - antithetical to treatment much? - and, IMO, something psychiatric/psychological professionals should be more embarrassed about than they seem to be.
3) It can be argued that the only difference between bulimia and binge-eating disorder is the purge.
4) Again, carbohydrates affect serotonin levels, which have been linked to depressive symptoms. Seems like a no-brainer to me.
Yeah, I know more about this than I'd prefer to.
*runs away*
11/22/09
While I am very lucky not to have suffered from full-blown binge eating disorder, I can't believe anyone would describe even my disordered eating as a lack of willpower.
And I'm seriously sick of worries of over-diagnosis with many psychological disorders. From a lack of resources standpoint, and a fear of prescribing dangerous drugs to people, I understand. However, while medication for ADD does not cure all my problems, my life is better now than it was before, and I am healthy enough to take this medication. If peoples' lives become better after treatment of binge eating disorder, isn't that all that matters? What is this moral element people feel they need to add to whether or not people should be able to get treatment?
11/22/09
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Jzs, pps. Jst ccpt whn y r dng smthng bd nd f y dn't lk tht y r dng t thn dmn wll STP dng t. t's nly hrd t stp f y cntn bng lzy nd nccntbl!
11/22/09
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11/22/09
Seriously, you made me more furious than I've been in a while. Choosing a bag of chips instead of apples, sure that's your choice. Choosing to sit on your ass rather than go out and be active, yeah, you chose that.
But are you trying to tell me that I choose to come home everyday, have a massive internal struggle as I try to not give in to the side of me that refuses to change, and then fall prey to that voice in my head and eat thousands of calories in a terrifying twenty minutes, followed by sticking my fucking finger down my throat and vomiting as I do permanent damage to my body and sob as I do it, then you are a fucking idiot. I have wanted, for YEARS now, to stop, to be able to get the courage to ask for help. But I can't, and do you know why?
Because it is a disease. And if bulimia is a disease, diagnosable and accepted by the APA, then compulsive eating, which is in essence the same except for the purging, is, too.
You don't have to hide behind it because YOU DON'T HAVE IT. YOU are the one who is lazy and unaccountable, and yes, you can damn well stop doing it. But for some of us out there? We can't. And people like you aren't making it easier.
11/22/09
11/22/09
Some people just can't stop.
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#tips
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#tips
11/23/09
i'm pretty sure even the people who enjoy fox news only get about that much out of it.
#tips
11/22/09
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People don't get it.
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This isn't a case of gorging yourself at an all-you-can-eat-buffet - but going out of your way to eat when you have emotions that you cannot deal with.
I would assume, that those people going to the buffet like the food, and want a lot of it.
The key to binge-eating disorders are the feelings that accompany it. If you feel fine mentally - but overeat, that may warrant a doctor's attention for reasons of physical health.
On the other hand, if you feel like a crazy mess - manic when bingeing, depressed after, and anxious in between - that would warrant a doctor's attention for mental health.
11/22/09
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11/23/09
11/12/09
Like...you believe women should have equal rights...mostly? Except when you don't?
Femnism isn't about proving that you're equal. It's about making sure that the law actually reflects that (it doesn't), and that we question cultural and social norms that seek to limit that equality.
So unless sometimes she thinks women shouldn't have equal rights, that makes no sense.
I can't even touch the ED comment because I'm kind of tired of people asking models about it. They tend to say the same thing...it's all the media, or it's barely the media. It's not particularly nuanced and it just furthers the idea that ED's are superficial. #cindycrawford
11/12/09
11/12/09
is like saying "I'm not a Christian, but ... " and then reciting the Nicene Creed. #cindycrawford
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11/12/09
Q: Fashion gets blamed for encouraging eating disorders.
"That's a little bit of a stretch. I don't know that much about eating disorders, but I'm certainly not one of the people they've blamed, because I'm not super-skinny. I think people want to find something to blame. An eating disorder is way more than a girl looking at a magazine and seeing a picture of a skinny model. Maybe that's one tiny piece of the puzzle, but I think it's a lot more about self-esteem and self-love and control, so it's too simplistic to just blame it on models who are skinny." #cindycrawford
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It's just as fair to say that self-esteem isn't the main issue in an eating disorder, since plenty of people have that and don' t try to starve themselves to death (bearing in mind that not all ED's are restrictive).
Each individual has different triggers, different reasons why an ED was/is their outlet. Not only does our culture idealize slim bodies, but it also idealizes body control, weight control, and dieting/food. Our culture has an extremely dysfunctional attitude about women and their bodies, our role in the world, everything.
To me, it's the conflict between all of it that helps create an ED in the individual. It's all interrelated.
11/12/09
It's certainly a component for some people but it's not all of it.
I think the media perpetuates certain cultural ideals, which influences the individual. So it's a component. But trying to make ED's only one thing bothers me. It feels like a way to ignore the complex nature of them. #cindycrawford
11/12/09