Fifty Shades Director Says 'No' to Next Installment, Is Done 

Fifty Shades of Grey Director Sam Taylor-Johnson told Deadline she will not be returning to direct the sequel. We previously reported Taylor-Johnson and Fifty Shades author E.L. James sparred a bit over the film's artistic vision, and it's unclear how much their beef impacted this decision. » 3/25/15 11:15pm 3/25/15 11:15pm

E.L. James Wants to Write Second Fifty Shades Script, Ruin Everything

Oh crap! If you enjoyed the first installment of Fifty Shades of Grey on the big screen, you're going to be a little upset at this news: The woman who wrote the terrible books now wants to write the terrible screenplays and ruin all your sexy fun by making the dialogue even more wooden and stilted than ever. » 2/19/15 10:30pm 2/19/15 10:30pm

This Is Your Brain on the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy 

Gleefully shitting on Fifty Shades of Grey became its own pastime as soon as the books started climbing up bestseller lists. But as easy as it is to lambast a trilogy of books written from the standpoint of a sexual idiot savant with a fifth-grade reading level, there's something smarmy and inauthentic about knocking… » 2/12/15 11:50am 2/12/15 11:50am

The UK Is Amassing a Graveyard of Unrecyclable Fifty Shades Paperbacks

Fifty Shades of Grey — the best-selling book in British history, if your brain can even process such a statement — is no longer the buzzworthy bestseller it was back in the summer of our cultural innocence (2012). Sales might pick up again when the already disappointing movie hits theaters in 2014, but then again,… » 9/05/13 11:55pm 9/05/13 11:55pm

Justin Bieber Banned From Indoor Skydiving Spot for Being a Shithead

To your chagrin, the gum-snapping, Jnco-pants-wearing Icarus known as Justin Bieber has not yet flown into the sun. In fact, Biebs' reign of terror has now expanded well beyond the Greater Los Angeles area. He and his Little Rascals were banned for life from Las Vegas Indoor Skydiving after being disrespectful brats.… » 6/25/13 9:00am 6/25/13 9:00am

Fifty Shades of Making It Rain at Random House: E.L. James Is…

Not only was E.L. James' cult sadomasochistic masterwork Fifty Shades of Grey far and above the bestselling Random House title this year, it single-handedly helped keep Random House parent company Bertelsmann maintain overall group profit levels despite stagnant conditions in its TV, magazine, and music publishing… » 3/26/13 3:50pm 3/26/13 3:50pm

E.L. James' New Book Will Teach You How to Write Erotica

Want to write about someone taking a steamy dump on your chesticles? Well, you're in luck, because E.L. James is set to release a journal/how-to book that schools you in the fine art of leaving it all on the page. You'll scribble down the desires of your inner goddess in an instructional novela that's sure to set your… » 3/13/13 10:00am 3/13/13 10:00am

Universal, E.L. James Sue Adult Film Company Behind Unimaginative 50…

As far as I'm concerned, making a porn parody of 50 Shades of Grey seems kind of redundant (wouldn't you rather see something unexpected like Good Night and Good Fuck or Black Hawk Pants Down or I'm Argo-ing To Come All Over You?) but happened nevertheless: 50 Shades of Grey: The XXX Adaptation. And although the… » 12/01/12 12:30pm 12/01/12 12:30pm

Wife Reads Fifty Shades of Grey, Divorces Husband for Not Being Erotic…

You've heard it all before: Relationship totally 100% healthy and not headed for doom in any way; wife picks up dirty book for a little light beach reading; WIFE FUCKING LOVES IT; wife buys erotic underpants and wiggles around in front of husband; husband does crossword puzzle; wife demands intercourse and naughty… » 11/13/12 4:40pm 11/13/12 4:40pm