The UK Is Amassing a Graveyard of Unrecyclable Fifty Shades Paperbacks

Fifty Shades of Grey — the best-selling book in British history, if your brain can even process such a statement — is no longer the buzzworthy bestseller it was back in the summer of our cultural innocence (2012). Sales might pick up again when the already disappointing movie hits theaters in 2014, but then again, why… » 9/05/13 11:55pm 9/05/13 11:55pm

Justin Bieber Banned From Indoor Skydiving Spot for Being a Shithead

To your chagrin, the gum-snapping, Jnco-pants-wearing Icarus known as Justin Bieber has not yet flown into the sun. In fact, Biebs' reign of terror has now expanded well beyond the Greater Los Angeles area. He and his Little Rascals were banned for life from Las Vegas Indoor Skydiving after being disrespectful brats.… » 6/25/13 9:00am 6/25/13 9:00am

Fifty Shades of Making It Rain at Random House: E.L. James Is…

Not only was E.L. James' cult sadomasochistic masterwork Fifty Shades of Grey far and above the bestselling Random House title this year, it single-handedly helped keep Random House parent company Bertelsmann maintain overall group profit levels despite stagnant conditions in its TV, magazine, and music publishing… » 3/26/13 3:50pm 3/26/13 3:50pm

E.L. James' New Book Will Teach You How to Write Erotica

Want to write about someone taking a steamy dump on your chesticles? Well, you're in luck, because E.L. James is set to release a journal/how-to book that schools you in the fine art of leaving it all on the page. You'll scribble down the desires of your inner goddess in an instructional novela that's sure to set your… » 3/13/13 10:00am 3/13/13 10:00am

Universal, E.L. James Sue Adult Film Company Behind Unimaginative 50…

As far as I'm concerned, making a porn parody of 50 Shades of Grey seems kind of redundant (wouldn't you rather see something unexpected like Good Night and Good Fuck or Black Hawk Pants Down or I'm Argo-ing To Come All Over You?) but happened nevertheless: 50 Shades of Grey: The XXX Adaptation. And although the… » 12/01/12 12:30pm 12/01/12 12:30pm

Wife Reads Fifty Shades of Grey, Divorces Husband for Not Being Erotic…

You've heard it all before: Relationship totally 100% healthy and not headed for doom in any way; wife picks up dirty book for a little light beach reading; WIFE FUCKING LOVES IT; wife buys erotic underpants and wiggles around in front of husband; husband does crossword puzzle; wife demands intercourse and naughty… » 11/13/12 4:40pm 11/13/12 4:40pm

Kate Middleton Bottomless Shots Surface In Danish Tabloid

Just as the whole topless photo scandal and subsequent privacy lawsuits were beginning to fade into the ether, rumors surfaced this morning that a Danish tabloid called Se og Hør had published new bottomless shots of K8 Middleton during that same stint she and Prince William had sunning on the balcony of a secluded… » 9/29/12 11:30am 9/29/12 11:30am

Meet the Grump Who's Married to Fifty Shades of Grey's E.L. James

Everyone, meet Niall Leonard. Niall Leonard, meet everyone. You've probably never heard of Niall before, but chances are that you know his wife, Fifty Shades of Grey poetess E.L. James. A fellow writer, Leonard has acted as James' proof reader throughout the early developments of the Fifty Shades series and has also… » 9/10/12 12:00pm 9/10/12 12:00pm

Nicolas Cage's Hairline Denies Creeping on Vanessa Hudgens

The Star reported that while filming the upcoming thriller Frozen Ground, Nicolas Cage freaked former Disney Pop Tart Vanessa Hudgens the fuck out to the point where "she begged directors to banish him from the set." Sources close to Hudgens say that he would apparently show up to watch her on days where he wasn't… » 9/08/12 11:30am 9/08/12 11:30am

Police Sketch of Christian Grey From Fifty Shades May Look Vaguely…

Using the same software cops turn to to catch criminals, Dr. Faye Skelton has created a virtual portrait of Christian Grey, the bossy BDSM-obsessed billionaire with food issues at the heart of Fifty Shades of Grey. Dr. Skelton used descriptions from 12 female readers to assemble he image, which she did for "just a bit… » 7/10/12 11:10am 7/10/12 11:10am

All Women Have the Right to Enjoy Some Pirate Erotica

Now that E.L. James' Fifty Shades of sadomasochistic sweet, sweet smut is making its author over a million dollars a week, Plume, an imprint of publishing giant Penguin, will re-release Anne Rice's graphic "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy from the 1980s, because now that dirty books are a summer reading trend (for the first… » 7/09/12 10:30am 7/09/12 10:30am

Jennifer Aniston Turned Down Justin Theroux's Marriage Proposal,…

Jennifer Aniston continues attempting in vain to make everyone feel OK about her awesome, independent, filthy-rich yet somehow still pretty likeable perma-playtime sad, unwedded, spurned, childless existence in an interview with GQ Spain: "'A perfect life?' I think that's sort of cliché, isn't it?. Like, if you… » 7/06/12 9:00am 7/06/12 9:00am