Loose Lips
Oooh, Christie Brinkey's divorce from Peter Cook is gettin' ugly! Brinkley wants to keep the court proceedings open while Cook wants them closed, apparently because "Brinkley's side may reveal Cook's alleged interest in Internet porn and swinger sites," according to People. • More details on Amy Winehouse's continued hospitalization: the singer might have TB. Girlfriend needs a serious rest. • Did you know Ilan Mitchell-Smith, aka Wyatt from Weird Science is now a professor of medieval studies and the father of two? That warms our wee hearts for some reason. [People, The Sun, Dlisted]
Oh, About That First Wife
Long before he was a war hero, or a Congressman or a Senator, John McCain was a naval officer and Carol Shepp McCain's husband. While he was held captive, she was in an accident so devastating that the subsequent surgeries left her 5 inches shorter and barely able to walk, but she refused to allow that information to be relayed to her captive husband in Vietnam. In a strange twist of fate, Ross Perot paid all her medical bills. When he got back, she walked with a limp and wasn't the skinny model-wife he left, but, damn, doesn't she look happy there on the left (in 1973)? That didn't last long. Rumor has it that he started catting around almost immediately and finally met Cindy in 1979, after which he bothered asking Carol for a divorce. He gave her the house and a generous settlement, blah, blah, blah, but, then again, he was marrying an heiress. He moved to Arizona in 1980, ran for office in 1982 and the rest is history. Carol, now 70, now lives in Virginia Beach and agreed to an interview because she wants everyone know that she thinks he's the best choice to be the next President, and doesn't blame him for leaving her "because John McCain didn’t want to be 40, he wanted to be 25. You know that happens...it just does." Yeah, girl, we know. It still sucks and we still think he's a dick. [Daily Mail]
Miscellaneous observations noted the day after seeing Sex & The City: The Movie and reading about YouTube divorceeTricia Walsh-Smith in 'New York' magazine and the anxieties of the newly-slightly-less-rich in the 'New York Times', vaguely petitioning the godless void to find someone to marry me before I look like this.
•Divorce is the new Death. No one wants it, really, but for some reason everyone assumes its inevitability. But when it comes, what happens? Who's the greater fool? This can be prepared for, like the Afterlife. Contracts can be drawn, assets accumulated and shifted. Carrie says she came to New York in search of the two "Ls" — "love" and "labels." Of course, "marriage" is just another variation on "label," worn like an LV to designate oneself as superior, uncommon, discriminating somehow, dignified. Whatever that means.
•Tricia Walsh-Smith is the worst-case matrimonial scenario. If you don't get married, or if you botch your prenuptial agreement, or if he leaves you at the altar (a.k.a. Big) or sleeps with a random stranger (a.k.a. Miranda), you lose all dignity; all of it, gone. And without that dignity, what is left? Shoes. The end.
Journalist Susannah Breslin keeps a website that we've mentioned here before, called 'Letters From Johns', on which she posts letters from dudes who frequent prostitutes. The most recent entry starts this way: "I've often heard women wonder why men with sexy wives or girlfriends would solicit prostitutes. The answer really is simple: Even Marilyn Monroe could get a little boring after a few years, and having sex with other women is fun. Just like skiing is fun, or eating chocolate cake, or playing a slot machine, or riding a roller coaster." It reminded me of an article I read on GQ's website yesterday, called Divorce: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac, where the author, Adam Sachs, is describing the demise of his marriage. His wife cheated on him, which came as a shock, because Sachs always figured, "I always thought I'd be the one who'd fuck it up."
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The traveling freak show that is the marriage of former child star Gary Coleman, 40, and his 22-year-old wife Shannon Price rolled into Divorce Court today, not necessarily to solidify the break p their marriage, but to get counseling from Judge Lynn Toler in order to save it. (Part two of the episode airs tomorrow. ) Gary still seems a little off — he has a hard time keeping his eyes open and talking at the same time — which makes me wonder if he's on something. And the fact that Shannon describes their fiery fights as going on until 3 AM, because they are "night people" who "sleep all day" only raises my suspicions. Clip above.
Latest by Nefilim: Yes, this is a great way to get marriage counseling. On TV. In front of an audience. Great idea, Gary and Shannon.@KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins:
I can see the conversation before hand.
Gary: look baby, I will get paid a good amount more »
So. Fergie has recorded the theme song for the Sex And The City Movie and it is fucking insane. Seriously. It's a fast-paced track that uses the original instrumental music from the show, with Fergie sing-rapping lyrics like: "Shopping for labels, shopping for love... Manolo and Louis is all I'm thinking of... Emotional baggage just replace them with Dior... Let's stop chasing the boys and shop some more..." It does not appear to be a joke. You can listen to the nauseating ditty here. Just a warning: You may puke or cry or both. [People]
Heidi Montag won't be at the White House Correspondents dinner because Spencer Pratt got involved and demanded first-class tickets for both of them — even though he wasn't invited. When he was denied, Spencer canceled Heidi's appearance because the event "wasn't A-listy enough." Meanwhile, Pamela Anderson, Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, Hayden Panettierre, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe and Donatella Versace will all be there. Aren't you proud to be an American? [Page Six]
When Ellen DeGeneres asked Ashlee Simpson,"Are you or are you not pregnant?" Ashlee said: "Well, that has been going on for quite a while. That is something that I choose personally not to discuss." In other words, yes. [People]
Colin Firth and Helen Hunt were shooting an intimate scene together when someone farted. [The Sun]
Latest by n/a: Congrats, Dodai & Jezebel.com. Name-checked by Gossip Girl, article in NY Times, and now quoted in "In Touch" - be sure to include a self-reference in you Midweek Madness feature. What next - perezhilton & tmz, before jumping the shark? more »
Loose LipsMonty Python star John Cleese might have to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife, prominent psychotherapist Alyce Faye Eichelberger Cleese, a yearly maintenance of £1 million, in addition to giving her custody of the couples' homes in New York and London. According to the Telegraph, Cleese was "taken aback by the scale of the divorce claim." No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, eh, John? • You know who else is getting divorced? Star Jones! The former View host filed from allegedly gay hubby Al Reynolds. She told Entertainment Tonight, "Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life. A month ago I filed for divorce. The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone's life that requires privacy with one's thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman." [Telegraph,Entertainment Tonight]
Meet Tricia Walsh-Smith. She's a playwright, but I guess the tragedy is that this YouTube video, in which she asks the assistant of her greedy hateful rich theater-owning old ex-husband who never wanted to fuck (even though she was 25 years younger than him!) what she thinks she should do with the Viagra and condoms she found, will probably go down in "History" as her sole contribution to the universe. Or is it a tragedy? No of course not, there's no such thing as tragedy. Or no, actually...
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Latest by clapyourhandssayLauren: This video was carried down from heaven by the star-spangled hand of god! I am an American living in the UK, and everyone here loves taking the piss out of me about, well, everything ever done by a crazy American. more »
In today's Wall Street Journal, a reader named L.H. from Ohio writes to columnist Sue Shellenbarger:
You wrote that living in a Blue State reduces the odds of divorce. Democrats divorce at a lower rate than Republicans? I find that very difficult to believe.
Shellenbarger responds that the so-called "blue" states have lower divorce rates than "red" ones for a variety of reasons, including education levels that inspire the affianced to think long and hard about all the reasons for getting married before they hop the Greyhound to Vegas (resulting in lower overall marriage levels and a reduction in the reasons for divorce in the first place.) My problem with "L.H. from Ohio"'s letter is that I find it sort of difficult to believe that he/she would even ask the question, especially in an election year like this one. More »
Splitsville
Rolan Ngah's first wife and second wife get along so well, they decided to leave him at the same time. Ngah, a 44-year old Malaysian Muslim, divorced his two wives on Tuesday, reports CBS News. According to Islamic law, a woman can submit a request to leave her husband, but the pronouncement of divorce must come from the man (or a court). Islam allows a man to have four wives. Ngah says he wasn't prepared for both women to ditch him simultaneously. "They are like good friends but I never imagined that both of them had collectively decided to divorce me," he claims. "I never expected our marriages to end in this manner." Surprise! No word on what his wives, ages 46 and 35, have planned, but we're sort of imagining them some Thelma & Louise spree — except with a happy ending. [CBS News]
The ruling in the Mills/McCartney case has been published, and the judge basically calls Heather Mills a liar liar pants on fire. Some choice excerpts: "The husband's evidence was, in my judgment, balanced. He expressed himself moderately though at times with justifiable irritation, if not anger. He was consistent, accurate and honest. But I regret to have to say I cannot say the same about the wife's evidence." And: "I find that the wife's case as to her wealth in 1999 to be wholly exaggerated." And: "I find that, far from the husband dictating to and restricting the wife's career and charitable activities, he did the exact opposite, as he says." And finally: "I accept that since April 2006 the wife has had a bad press. She is entitled to feel that she has been ridiculed even vilified. To some extent she is her own worst enemy. She has an explosive and volatile character." Oh, and also? Mills-McCartney poured water on Paul's lawyer's head yesterday in the middle of the divorce proceedings. Way to endear yourself to the judge, Heather!
The news of Heather Mills McCartney's nearly $49 million divorce settlement was the talk of both the tabloids and legitimate news sources yesterday, and it wasn't just because Mills' split from Paul McCartney was so acrimonious. The haggling over money when one spouse is far wealthier than the other begs the question: How much is a marriage "worth"? Pundits and the peanut gallery alike have been griping about Mills's payday — she will receive the equivalent of $1,300 an hour for every hour of her four-year marriage to Paul McCartney. During a segment about the McCartneys and the price of marriage on GMA this morning, the implication was that a wife only deserves that kind of money when her presence helped a husband create his fortune.
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Latest by constancescott1990: @ineffable.me: U know she's judging the Miss usa pageant,right? more »
Loose Lips
Did Kirsten Dunst's break up with Jake Gyllenhaal lead to her boozy ways and ultimately, to her current stint in rehab? "There was no such thing as 'just the one' for her," says a source. We'd be drowning our sorrows in drink if Jake broke up with us, too! • Paul McCartney and Heather Mills could not reach a settlement in their shockingly acrimonious divorce. This means a judge will decide how the couple splits their assets. • TMZ caught LeAnn Rimes picking her nose. Oh whatevs! You can pick your friends and your nose here at Jezebel. [Us, Perez, TMZ]
Excuses, Excuses
Husband left you for a newer model? Turns out you were right: He is a narcissistic jerk! Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, is sounding off on midlife crises among men, calling them "socially acceptable shorthand for what you do when you suddenly wake up and discover that you're not 20 anymore." Says Friedman: "Why do we have to label a common reaction of the male species to one of life's challenges — the boredom of the routine — as a crisis? True, men are generally more novelty-seeking than women, but they can certainly decide what they do with their impulses." [NY Times]
Happy Divorce Day!
After all the quality time off during the holidays, this first working Monday of the new year is when divorce requests hit an annual peak, reportsThe Guardian. According to a survey of 2,000 troubled couples, 42% were splitting due to discovering (over Christmas) that their partner was having an affair. 29% blamed boredom. Better to file papers now than start the year sorta miserable, right Pam? [Guardian]
The American Bar Association has endorsed something called a "collaborative divorce." According to MSNBC, the approach "involves the use of attorneys for each party, often joined by other expert consultants." And, instead of lawyers snapping at each others' throats, they "pledge from the outset to work together in crafting an outcome that is fair to all." Sarah Smith, 47, says she and her ex-husband, David Boyle, were able to split up quickly and cheaply ($5,000) by doing a collaborative divorce. "It was definitely the way to go in our situation — we didn't have piles of anger about each other, and we also didn't have piles of money," says Smith. "Our main concern was the welfare of the kids." Avoiding the courtroom also avoids huge fees. Where $19,000 was the median cost for a collaborative divorce at one firm, it was $26,000 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and a whopping $77,000 for full-scale litigation. (The cost for mediation was around $6,000).
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Latest by n/a: I learned about this in Juno. Ahem! more »
Psyche!
Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are back on. Apparently, they had a huge fight, which caused Pam to file papers this morning. But, according to TMZ, they've made up and everything is cool. Wrote Pam on her Web site: "We're working things out." Good luck! [TMZ]
Love Lost
After getting married in a white denim dress in Las Vegas in October, Pam Andersonhas filed for divorce from hubby Rick Salomon, citing irreconcilable differences. It was the third marriage for both, and possibly the last for neither. [People]
Jezebel
Oooh, Christie Brinkey's divorce from 
hell's bells
