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New York, 9:35 PM
Thu Nov 26
3 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #defamer more →

    This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    So...Ashlee's eyes in frame 10. What's going on there? Are they actually looking in two directions? She looks possessed.

    Also, I assume that Nicole and Penelope have probably met before - Hollywood is a small town, really. I'm sure they've already swapped Tom Cruise stories before working together, which is why they're not talking about them now. Not because women always have to talk about their exes, but you know - there's always that one really weird ex that you're dying to swap stories about.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    J. Lo just set a new level of sexy face in slide 10. Can Megan Fox rise to the challenge?
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of R_Claw R_Claw
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I now want a calendar where each month there's a different dog reading a different tell-all book about a different celebrity. I think this is genius.
     Reply
    R_Claw was starred R_Claw was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    "Carey told Shia that Keira warned her that he's a player, which enraged Shia, because he's really genuine. "

    Shia, you'll always be a damaged norseman mascot to me, and I tend to doubt the veracity of tabloid anecdotes, but most "genuine" people don't get "enraged" when someone calls them "a player".
     Reply
    Edited by funzette at 11/25/09 3:58 PM funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of applejuice applejuice
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I wanna hear about "Angie and Brad's Obama Battle" in Us.

    Ever since I heard Jolie say how she lurrrrved Ayn Rand and that the Fountainhead was great and "changed" her life, I have felt she probably shares some of her father's political views...

    If I were betting I'd say she's a Libertarian and she's the one who dislikes Obama.
     Reply
    applejuice was starred applejuice was unstarred
    Image of SybilDisobedience SybilDisobedience
    11/25/09

    @applejuice: I've read from some other sources that she does not like Obama at all, and Brad's a supporter, so they duke it out over their differences. Doesn't surprise me a bit - like you say, I think she's more conservative than her general public image would dictate.
     Reply
    SybilDisobedience was starred SybilDisobedience was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    The last time I had steamy sex in the shower, I slipped and busted my ass bone. Then I couldn't do anything for 6 months. Even now I prefer baths.
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of hollygirl hollygirl
    11/25/09

    @kookla: A friend of mine broke his penis fucking in the shower- he had the girl in his arms with her legs around him and she slipped pff mid-thrust and his dick cracked. He was kind of never the same after that.
     Reply
    Edited by hollygirl at 11/25/09 3:38 PM hollygirl was starred hollygirl was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    11/25/09

    @kookla: Good lord, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's shower sex-challenged. Until I can install footstools, never-slip bath mats, handles of varying heights, and padded walls in my shower, I will be boning elsewhere.
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: I just read that to my boyfriend, who has suddenly decided to swear off having sex in the shower.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of hollygirl hollygirl
    11/25/09

    @Lysergic Asset: Happy to help. I imagine he's grabbing his package and wincing right now, yes?

    #tips
     Reply
    hollygirl was starred hollygirl was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: We were both wincing as I read it. Poor guy. (Your friend, that is.)

    #tips
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: I didn't even know they can break! Not that I haven't come close!

    @jigglyball: Another bit of advice, make sure your partner is muscular. Skinny people don't have the upper body strength.

    #tips
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    @jigglyball: Old people used to live in my house, so my bathroom is full of safety handles. It's amazing for doing things like shaving legs. I've never fucked in the shower, but I feel confident I can do it in my shower.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of JennaW JennaW
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    They don't spend their downtime talking about Tom?! But what else could women possibly discuss but mutual exes? I call bullshit!
     Reply
    JennaW was starred JennaW was unstarred
    Image of eatsshootsleaves eatsshootsleaves
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    The only things I hope are true in these magazines is the reading dog and Britney letting her kids draw on her wall, which is kind of awesome.
     Reply
    eatsshootsleaves was starred eatsshootsleaves was unstarred
    Image of LadyBossyBoots LadyBossyBoots
    11/25/09

    @eatsshootsleaves: It is awesome; we made a special wall in our apartment for the kidlet to draw on and it rocked.

    ...and how the hell does kids drawing on the wall cause "thousands in damage"? A bottle of 409 is cheap, or in extreme cases, some touch up paint.
     Reply
    eatsshootsleaves promoted this comment LadyBossyBoots was starred LadyBossyBoots was unstarred
    Image of lalaland13 lalaland13
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    In my screenplay, the man opens up the shower door and the woman sighs and says, "Dude, I'm all soapy now and if we start hitting it right here, I'm gonna get a rash and be itchy all damn day. So let me wash off, OK? Then wait for me in the bedroom-this whole taking me against the wall thing never works as well as you think it does. It's damned uncomfortable."
     Reply
    Edited by lalaland13 at 11/25/09 3:09 PM lalaland13 was starred lalaland13 was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    @lalaland13: Later on, in Act II, the woman is eating cereal at the kitchen table. The man walks in donning a matadors costume and seductively clears the table, flinging the cereal box off in the process, creating a gigantic mess. The woman is forced to vacuum even though she just did it yesterday and the couple doesn't talk for the rest of the week.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of SUNNY1 SUNNY1
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I've read better love scenes than that Angelina/Johnny one in Harlequin books. "Slithery"? Really? How is that sexy? She sounds like a snake.
     Reply
    SUNNY1 was starred SUNNY1 was unstarred
    Image of Sputnik_Sweetheart Sputnik_Sweetheart
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I enjoy a good pirate movie. I also like french bread, brie, baguettes, and I look super stylish in a beret. Can I fornicate with Johnny Depp now?
     Reply
    Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred Sputnik_Sweetheart was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    You know how they say that T Pain's horrifying makeover of the Miami Dolphins song was the death of autotune? I feel like Jennifer Lopez's face in that spread about shaggy bangs is the death of sexyface.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of formergr formergr
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I love the overly-earnest tone of the piece analyzing a courtroom sketch of Nicole Richie as if it were a Renaissance painting.

    Her elongated neck symbolizes her stretching to achieve a new potential. The dark shadows under the eyes are evocative of harder times, and the difficulties that continue into today.
     Reply
    Edited by formergr at 11/25/09 2:44 PM formergr was starred formergr was unstarred
    Image of Sputnik_Sweetheart Sputnik_Sweetheart
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I thought the whole point of going to Grandma and Grandpa's house was so they could watch/play with/take care of the kids. Or was that just in my family?

    Also, I spent Christmas one year in Vietnam and it was a pretty rocking time! Much warmer than Missouri!
     Reply
    Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred Sputnik_Sweetheart was unstarred
    Image of dancerevolution dancerevolution
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I can't lie, the thought of Angelina and Johnny Depp together is super sexy. Maybe too sexy? She is like his female equivalent. Or vice versa...
     Reply
    dancerevolution was starred dancerevolution was unstarred
    Image of J.D.Regent J.D.Regent
    11/25/09

    @dancerevolution: it IS hot, but she is not really his type. he likes petite doll faced girls. i was surprised nothing happened btwn him and christina ricci in legend of sleepy hollow.
     Reply
    J.D.Regent was starred J.D.Regent was unstarred
    Image of dancerevolution dancerevolution
    11/25/09

    "Petite doll-faced girls." Guess that means I haven't got a chance in hell. Johnny Depp also seems very low-key and private, so I doubt he would get involved in the media storm that would inevitably occur if Depp and Jolie got together. They do share a faux-French accent though, so that's something. #tips
     Reply
    dancerevolution was starred dancerevolution was unstarred
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