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"Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
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Ipomoea
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
After the discussion on Saturday night's open thread about FB unfriending, this post, and the NYTimes article, I finally unfriended the wierd person who commented on every single status update I posted while managing to work in crazy-ass stuff they had done that they thougth was cool that sometimes wasn't even tangentially related to whatever I'd put up.

And then I blocked them from finding me, and deleted any applications from my page that they had. I only see this person maybe once a month at a group gathering, and I'll probably drop that, too. They were just uber-wierd and pathetic and sad.
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badger
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
As long as I'm not alerted to someone un-friending me, then I'll remain blissfully ignorant.

LinkedIn, on the other hand, broke my heart when my ex-boyfriend denied my request with a "don't know this person", and I was alerted to it. Ouch.

My friend just got a LinkedIn rejection letter from a co-worker who must really hate him, or really love him:

LinkedIn Denied
[tinyurl.com]
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hellosunshine
01/29/09

@badger: Dude. That IS the best LinkedIn rejection ever.
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
Oddly, my ex from college found me on Facebook today.

Mine initially started as "real friends only" but I've moved enough since high school to have basically lost touch with everyone I've known, and I've got a fairly monolithic friend circle unrelated to school/work. Yeah, so my friends list is well over 300 at this point. My 10-year reunion is getting planned VIA FACEBOOK, which is a bit weird.

I plan on un-friending most everyone from high school as soon as it's over., tbh
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hellosunshine
01/29/09

@elitza: Ours is too! We have an alum group on there that roughly a quarter of us have joined, and the reunion people have already started asking us to get everyone else on!
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picardia
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
I unfriended someone I knew from high school when she posted her sincere hope that Obama would be assassinated. This was partly because of what she said and partly because I then remembered I had not kept up with her for an actual good reason, namely, she is trash.
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Alohamaid
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
oh I'm a passive agressive unfriending bitch. You dump me-unfriended, I realize you're a jerk I no longer want to know-unfriended. Actually it's not a passive agressive offense so much as if a guy I was with is now dating someone else I don't need to get that update over my news feed.
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resonanteye
01/29/09

@Alohamaid: Yeah it's no good to get all the latest pictures of them and the squee from the new lady-friends in updates.
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Lizawithazee
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
Someone who works for me friended me on Facebook and frequently updates her status to complain how much she'd rather be doing just about anything else than be at work.

Hi lady, I can see those!
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FourInchHeels
01/29/09

@Lizawithazee: You should say something to her! Probably in the form of commenting on her status. "Sorry to hear how miserable you are, but please be sure to have that report to me by lunch. Kisses!"
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rocknrollunicorn
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
I forgot to log out of FB once and my sister accepted a friend request from a guy we went to grade school with, thinking it was her page. I'm pretty sure the guy is still in high school and I feel like a perv, but I would feel bad unfriending him. However, I did ruthlessly unfriend a HS acquaintance for her constant anti-abortion, pro-John McCain group joins and updates. My feeling is, if it is an acquaintance, quietly unfriending is fine. I mean come on -- they are not REAL FRIENDS. I do not request people I am not actual friends with, but if you are doing that, you need to expect to be defriended sometimes.
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resonanteye
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
Using social networking to find fans of my art means that I accept all new friends and treat them as my "public"...I do disounts (sometimes deep ones) just for those people that are my "friends" on certain sites, too.

Mostly I think people have bands, artists, etc etc that they like, along with their friends and acquaintances...right?

I still don't understand why people would want to "network" socially...like a stranger that isn't a creative artist adding another stranger who also isn't, unless they're trying to use it as a dating service of some kind.
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resonanteye
01/29/09

@resonanteye: by the way, I'm "resonanteye" everywhere. Jezzies even more welcome to jump on my page than anyone else would be, of course.
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arodriguez.romero
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
also we mentioned this before but it's good to mention it again:

Don't friend anybody from work. Save that for LinkedIn.
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hellosunshine
01/29/09

@arodriguez.romero: Yep. All of my coworkers have Facebook and thankfully haven't tried to add me. My only coworkers on mine are two of my best friends.
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badger
01/29/09

@arodriguez.romero: LinkedIn has it's own drama to dole out.

Exhibit A: My ex-boyfriend denied by request by claiming he didn't know me. LinkedIn let me know. Gee, thanks.

Exhibit B: My friend's recent rejection: [tinyurl.com]
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arodriguez.romero
01/29/09

@badger: sorry you boyfriend did that.

So what does linkedin do when IT suggests a possible connection and I click "I don't want to be connected to that person"?
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
I was about to do some major facebook housecleaning a few weeks ago when I realized I have 420 friends. My inner 14-year-old-boywouldn't let me mess with that.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
01/29/09

@MidnightBikeRide...shh, I'm trying to watch Dance Crew: stupid space key!
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stealthird
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
I defriended my ex-boyfriend at one point, then re-friended him after he requested it, because I guy I'd hooked up with had just robbed me, and I thought, "Well, my ex was a pain in the ass sometimes, and sometimes even a jerk, but he never stole from me". So I let him back in, and though he's constantly poking me, he's not that annoying. Plus he's going to get me his aunt's recipes for tamales so thats a plus.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
There is a quirk in the photo album privacy settings that I want to know how to overcome. I have it set to "friends only", but if I tag a friend in it, it seems like all their friends can see the whole album.

I start to feel like a stalker if I look at a friend's picture in some random person's album and all of a sudden I have access to this person's childhood photos, etc. Not that I would ever look at them out of curiosity, erm...
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hellosunshine
01/29/09

@Grim Reaper of the Forest: I don't think there's any way around that... because if THEY have their photos set to "my friends can see," then that includes pictures your friend has posted AND pictures others have posted that happen to have your friend tagged. I've had to untag a ton of unflattering pictures of myself that my camera-happy friend has posted because I don't want everyone seeing them!
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Blueberry26
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
can you give the burger you earn to charity? I don't eat burger king, but I could cut a bunch of people. I don't really use facebook anyway
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Hana Maru
01/29/09

@Blueberry26: You could give it to a homeless person.
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HalloweenJacqueline
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
Family is the gray area.

There are so many in mine.

And they have all discovered the joys of Facebook.
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hellosunshine
01/29/09

@HalloweenJacqueline: Ditto. My parents haven't, but a bunch of my cousins have (all my mom's age or so). I figure, my parents know I'm 24 and do stupid shit sometimes and am a filthy liberal (they're Republican)... not like anything on there will come as a huge shock.
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MissIng
01/29/09

In reply to "Un-Friending" On Facebook: Harsh — Or Necessary?
I HATE that my sister is fb friends with my ex. Just knowing that he can keep tabs on me and see pics of me and my new fiance creeps me out. It ended badly, and my sister wasn't even real friends with him so I don't know why she won't delete!
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Crabby Cakes
01/29/09

@MissIng: THAT is no good. My bf's brother is FB friends with my bf's ex- and we both know it's because she's trying to get a response out of my bf. (She commented on EVERY picture he had of my bf on his FB.) The brother met this girl ONCE. Why won't he just defriend her?
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