cannes - Jezebel

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This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
Estée Lauder Face Kept Beautiful With Eucerin; Two Supermodels Reportedly Sperminated
Brad & Angie Acting Like They Like Each Other Or Something
Body Language "Expert" Weighs In On Brad & Angie
Stone, Turn Around, Uh-Oh
Dita Teases, Gives The Cold Shoulder
Film Festival On Thigh Alert
Lagerfeld Is Shockingly Vain; Angelina's Stylist Spills Secrets
Paris Is In Cannes. Fashion Weeps.
Diane Kruger: Stunning With Scissors

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tscheese
05/28/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP PRAYING TO ME ALREADY? I am ADAMANTLY not listening.

-Tscheesus Christ
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hippichx sez PEACE PLEASE
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
my boobs look different when i wear a push up bra too. let's face it ladies and gentlemen, if they are real... they will sag! it's called gravity.
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MakeFetch
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
In what universe is the starvation diet detailed above "well rounded"?
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Tart of Darkness
05/28/09

@MakeFetch: Back when I was anorexic I had a V-8 juice with my hard-boiled egg. Shoot! I coulda skipped the V-8!!!
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Leucadia
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
Apparently magazine editors are unaware that different clothes can make boobs look different. Especially aggressively structured evening wear or completely unstructured bikini tops.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/27/09

@Leucadia: Or the simple act of wearing a bra versus hangin' free.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
So I can eat (1) egg, (1) tiny, bacon/cheese/meat free salad with a thimbleful of tasteless non-caloric dressing, (1) bit of salmon with plain steamed veg, and (2) cheese sticks?

Ok, but how many times a day can I eat all this? ONCE?? Baaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Hahahahaha!! Hah!

No, no that's not going to work. I'll just continue on eating what I like and doing a little exercise. Thanks.

Also? I would have eaten the Cheesus, but I would definitely felt some guilt by the time I'd finished picking it out of my teeth.
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stealthird
05/27/09

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: I know, that diet is so depressing to look at. Which is why, after reading that, I ate pringles and Mike & Ikes.
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lobstr
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
if that bitch Kate gets her own TV Talk Show I am throwing my TV into the river.
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TrulyOutrageous
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
I am SICK of the tiniest hint of a stomach meaning ZOMG BABY BUMP! The woman had TWINS not even a year ago. Your stomach does not automatically snap back after being that stretched out! I had ONE kid 17 months ago, and my stomach still looks like I'm at least four months pregnant (I do not have time for sit-ups dammit, I have a young child that keeps me kinda busy).

Sorry for the Kanye caps, but this shit pisses me off. Round stomachs are NORMAL, tabloid morons.
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Bunsen Honeydew
05/27/09

@TrulyOutrageous: If that's the case, I've been pregnant for 5 to 10 years. GET OUT YOU DEADBEAT BABY AND GET A JOB! THIS ISN'T A HOTEL!!!
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KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
Oh, to be in charge of finding photos of celebrities with bad plastic surgery.

Does this look dented enough? No...damn. Wonky? Sloping? **Googles furiously**
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Treeless
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
Apparently a secure married couple is supposed to attend a party with horse-blinders on, and neither drink nor talk nor sweat on a warm spring afternoon in France.

I had no idea InTouch Weekly's target audience was so strictly composed of Jealous Haterz.
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marshmallory
05/27/09

@Treeless: I think you meant JEL1S H8ERZ.
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
For the last time tabloids, people's noses look different when they are wearing huge sunglasses. It doesn't necessarily mean they had a nose job. It could just mean that part of their nose is obscured. I really don't want to have to say that again or else I may start yelling. Do not make me go all caps-locks on your ass.
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TheExperience
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
That cheeto is seriously something out of a Simpsons episode.

Mmm.....sacriligious.....
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
05/27/09

@TheExperience: SacriLICIOUS!
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A_Gracious_Plenty
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
I've said it before and I'll say it again: THAT IS NOT A BABY BUMP, ITS JUST A STOMACH! Vital organs must be stored somewhere! What do they want??? For it to be concave???
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SaraRueful
05/27/09

@for_the_love: Yes.
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marshmallory
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
MOVIE THEATER NACHO SAUCE IS ALWAYS AN A+ DAMMIT.

Sorry for the yelling, but I feel very passionate about my orange liquid cheese products.
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SaraRueful
05/27/09

@marshmallory wants to gobble and prance.: I used to work at a theater concession stand, and the bottles of the "butter" for the popcorn were labeled "Golden flavored." I was like, Huh, that's what gold tastes like ...
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Skellatrix
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
This just in: Brad and Angelina attend a party and act like people at a party.
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BabyJane
05/27/09

In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Brad & Angie "Fight" In Public; Jon & Kate Kids Suffer
Perhaps it's just me, but that Cheeto looks more like a zombie to me than a figure praying in a robe.

All hail Chombie!
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kithkin
05/27/09

@BabyJane: The similarities between Jesus and zombies only continue to grow in number!
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Lymed
05/27/09

@BabyJane: Jane Austen zombie cheetoh noms brains of unrequited lovers.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
05/27/09

@BabyJane: I'm with you there.

I have converted.

Chombie be praised!!
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