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New York, 1:16 AM
Tue Nov 24
65 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/13/09
Also: Sarah Haskins fucking rules. #sarahhaskins
11/13/09
I was 14 and babysitting a two year old who did a runner while I was changing him. The door slammed closed behind me, but clever girl that I am, I managed to climb in a window with the naked two year old. Feeling quite proud of myself for getting back in the house, I went back to changing the kid until their was a knock on the door (small town, police come fast). The obviously very bored police were annoyed that I didn't have any id, being 14 and all. The finally decided I wasn't a teenage mother burglar when I suggested we go to my mom's house 2 blocks away so she could vouch for me.
And the family never had me babysit again. #sarahhaskins
11/14/09
11/13/09
So, no, women are not safe anywhere, and I'm not sure a call from Rick with Broadview is really going to deter a stalker/violent ex or acquaintance.
Alarms may, however, deter burglars. But instead of portraying that, these ads just play on our fear of men, even though I really doubt they help to deter violent men. #sarahhaskins
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11/13/09
don't even get me started on her 'university of looking like a caucasian burglar'
11/13/09
Scruffy half-beard? Check. Hoodie? Check. #sarahhaskins
11/13/09
I have a garage door opener for my parents' house when I visit. Now, when I go inside, I take the opener with me – the neighborhood has had a sudden spree of people smashing the windows of cars parked in driveways and then using the openers to get into the garage/house. #sarahhaskins
11/13/09
Onto the general idea of being a woman and never being safe: that's so where I'm at this week. I've heard of four assaults on my campus in the last 2 weeks, on the dark streets I walk daily. I'm really freaked out and had a breakdown in a parking garage Wednesday night. All the school seems to say is "be vigilant." As if we women are ever NOT effing vigilant. I'm always vigilant. Being vigilant is exhausting. #sarahhaskins
11/13/09
But then again, rape statistics don't usually apply to him. #sarahhaskins
11/13/09
11/13/09
and it pisses me off that I can walk anywhere I want, as long as I have a "big strong" man by my side. #sarahhaskins
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11/13/09
The times my stalker ex-boyfriend got his hands on me, they didn't involve him breaking down the door. He got me in the parking lot, at my place of work, and then was sitting on my bed after convincing my apartment complex to give him a key.
Your loud alarm and phone call would not have helped me so stop playing to people's fears. #sarahhaskins
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11/13/09
Worse still was the Kay's commercial last night: Women is afraid of the thunderstorm (yes, a thunderstorm). Man will protect her. And give her pretty necklace.
[www.kay.com] #sarahhaskins
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She reacts to that storm like a nervous puppy, and only the power of his manly diamond arms can quell her lady fears. #sarahhaskins
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11/13/09
Manipulate the patriarchy to your advantage, ladies!
/culturesnark #sarahhaskins
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11/13/09
But, if you've got a good steel door with a steel jamb, then you're good to go. #sarahhaskins
11/06/09
According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face "numerous times" before Brown assaulted her. NCFM purports although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not "woman up" to it then her message will be the usual one-sided double standards that leave female perpetration covered up.
The saying, "There is no excuse for domestic violence," applies to both sexes. Female violence in relationships is not rare but is often hypocritically deemed acceptable or humorous, such as in the film, Sideways. It is part of the cycle of domestic violence, which cannot be stopped without addressing the problem honestly. Children are damaged just by witnessing domestic violence, regardless of its severity. A 32-nation study by the University of New Hampshire found women are as violent and as controlling as men in relationships worldwide #rihannainterview
11/06/09
I wish Rihanna well and I hope she's on her way to having a great life. #rihannainterview
11/06/09
To be clear, I think Chris Brown is a piece of horseshit who has yet to take full responsibility and I loathe the fact that the public might use this interview to absolve him. Moreover, i've never been hit by a lover before so I am aware of the fact that I lack a visceral understanding about her experience in that sense. But what I have experienced before is being in love with someone I considered my best friend, and being in a relationship with them in a place and a time when I felt like I had no one else, no one else who "got" me, no one else who knew what I was going through, no one else who I could fundamentally relate to. That creates a dependency that makes you love a person without reason I think, because you not only find love in them, you create home in them. You make them your safe place.
It's a dependency that doesn't end when the relationship ends. Instead it creates a cognitive dissonance where after the breakup you have to make them a good person who did bad things as opposed to a bad person who you were tricked into believing was good or a bad person with good moments, because at the time when your relationship with them ends you feel like you have not only lost a lover you have lost something akin to a family member. And no one wants to admit that there are bad genes in their family. No one wants to admit that they loved someone so dark and so damaged. Because, their secret fear is, then it hints at or suggests some possible damage or deep sense of worthlessness in they themselves. It's a deeper thing, I think, than even the feeling of embarrassment she mentions. What she is dealing with a deep sense of shame that someone she consistently considered the foremost person in her life thought little enough of her overall, and so little of her in that moment, that he was willing to hurt her so badly.
When someone is your "best friend" in your mind--not just your boyfriend, or your lover but your best friend-- it's almost like you revert back to class one (first grade) honor codes. You find a way to take some responsibility for the person's actions because you think of yourselves as a unit. You proclaim your allegiance to them publicly. You don't pick someone else at the swings. Most importantly, you protect them from "bullies" or "enemies". You don't let anyone be mean to them. You've done it for so long that it's almost instinctive. Speaking badly about them publicly feels like tattle-taling. And no one wants to be a tattletale on their friend.
She is struggling so hard with that part of the loyalty code you can see the strain on her face. Add to it the other loyalty code: the historical tenet of "black people don't wash their dirty laundry in front of white people" thing, that black women don't rat out black men, that black women stand by their people and don't embarass the race in front of white folks, that no one likes snitches etc etc etc .... and you can see that the girl is doing the best she can. I am surprised she is even able to do this much considering the kind of emotional stuff she is up against. #rihannainterview
11/07/09