Sweden Bans Bestiality Because Somehow It Was Legal Before Now

The people of Sweden can have sex on their LEIRVIK beds while wearing their H&M clothes and listening to Robyn, but they can't do any of that with animals anymore. Until way too recently, the nation helmed as the "perfect society" was also a nation where it was legal to have sex animals.

According to the Swedish Rural Affairs Minister Eskil Erlandsson, "The government is now toughening bestiality laws so that there is no doubt that it's prohibited."

Previously, bestiality was legal as long as it could be proven that the animal was not inflicted with any physical and/or psychological harm. And, uh, how would one go about checking with the animal and its psychological state? Are practitioners actually expected to tell someone they've been humping cows?

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The ban will not be implemented until January 1st, 2014...to give animal-fuckers the opportunity to cram in as much sex as possible in the next few months? Unsure why. Beginning on that date, violators of the ban will face a maximum of two years in prison and/or a fine.

Sweden is probably not teeming with passionate people lusting for animal farms. Legality does not equate to permission, or butthole-Jesus forbid, encourage bestiality. Perhaps Sweden's perfect social structure had so much confidence in its citizens that they found any law banning the act to be irrelevant and incompetent standing next to the nation's moral fabric?

As a Norwegian citizen (the country banned bestiality in 2008), I applaud my Swedish brothers and sisters for always being the right amount of steps behind Norway.

Sweden proposes 'total' ban on bestiality [The Local]

*Image is of Swedish Crown Princess at a wildlife sanctuary. Via Kristian Dowling/Getty.