Stop Letting Your Children Do Juice Cleanses

Because at least a few people have lives like Yolanda Foster of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and her spawn, the New York Post reports that increasing numbers of parents are touting the healing power of juice – for themselves and for their children.

The cleanses aren’t entirely about losing weight, though one teen that spoke to the Post admitted that PROM SEASON is coming up and she’d like to look their best. And though most of those interviewed by the Post are teenagers or the parents of teenagers, proprietors of various juice apothecaries say that adults are coming in with kids of all ages. Like Stephanie Walczak of Rawpothecary in New York, which is apparently the hippest place to juice in the city right now, even for children (there is currently a grinning young lady drinking green juice on their website and several little kids featured on their Instagram account). Walczak defends her drinks as an appropriate choice for those who want to lose weight and for young people, describing them as “complete nutrition.”

Others are specifically targeting actual children, not just reaping the benefits of a health-addicted family. The company DHERBS based out of California sells a Children’s Full Body Cleanse “for infants, toddlers, and small children” under 12. (Under 12.) While this cleanse should be done with a “recommended diet” of raw foods and thus is not completely sans actual sustenance, it still costs $99 for up to two weeks of product. A company spokesperson told the Post that the Children’s Cleanse has increased in sales of almost 50 percent over the past few years.

At first glance, juice + kids makes a lot of sense (Juicy Juice and Capri Sun helllllllo?) but there are still companies who do not recommend using their juices for any sort of cleanse for children. That doesn’t mean, however, that they won’t tout the benefits of juice for people of all ages. The popular Blue Print Cleanse notes on their website, “Children should not do any type of juice cleanse or fast while they are still growing,” before going on to clarify that you are more than welcome to encourage your children to drink it if they’re still eating other foods: “That said, BPC is an amazing addition to any diet. Cold pressed juice is always a better alternative to soda.”

Of course, those trending with juice are ignoring the fact that juice cleanses are not doctor-recommended for young people (and often are not even doctor-recommended for adults), whose bodies are growing at a rapid rate and need all the sustenance they can get for those budding sex organs and extra few inches of height. Additionally, I would play the appropriate part of the old fogey and reminisce about the days when our parents would talk about starving kids in Africa and how everyone should clear their plates during a meal but since technically these juices cost more than actual hard food, that rule still applies. Drink your juice.