Someone Finally Uncovered the Boy Meets World/Illuminati Conspiracy

Did you used to watch Boy Meets World? I know I did, but what I didn’t know was that along with the helpful life lessons of Mr. Feeny, we viewers were also all learning about the secret world of the Illuminati. Well, maybe not so much “learning about” as much as “being indoctrinated into,” but still, Boy Meets World was an Illuminati gateway and all of its cast and crew (EVEN MINKUS? ESPECIALLY MINKUS) were in on it.

That Boy Meets World and the upcoming Girl Meets World are a part of the New World Order isn’t exactly news. Some truth-tellers have been trying to blow the lid off this devil-worship conspiracy for months now. These people — particularly Tumblr user boymeetsworldilluminati — can offer up pages and pages of indisputable proof that ties Boy Meets World to the Illuminati underground. Proof like: Topanga having eyes (one of which she occasionally covers up), Rider Strong brushing Ben Savage with his pinky during an interview (sign of the witch!) and several articles written in ALL CAPS LOCK SO YOU KNOW THEY’RE SERIOUS.

Late last night, Jezebel received an email to our tips line with the subject line “BIG CELEBRITY NEWS PLEASE READ.” We readily obeyed the request (probably because we’re so used to taking orders from our Illuminati overlords, i.e. Jay Z) and were soon subjected to inarguable (totally arguable) link after inarguable link tying Boy Meets World to the Illuminati. What was exposed is stuff you cannot unsee and let me tell you, my one eye is finally open.

Here are some more SHOCKING FACTS from the Disney’s Boy Meets World Illuminati tumblr:

Topanga is a devil woman.

“On Wednesday September 4, 2013 Popsugar Girls Guide uploaded a love advice video where Danielle Fishel teaches you how to make a voodoo doll. Viewers ask love and dating questions to Danielle Fishel and she chooses which questions are suitable to talk about in her videos. SHE JUST HAD TO CHOOSE THAT QUESTION AND TEACH VIEWERS HOW TO MAKE A VOODOO DOLL.”

Fellow known Illuminati member J. Cole “dissed” Topanga in a song and that means…something.

You can read the lyrics yourself and J. Cole even says:

“Trying to find a new Topanga
And bang her out, no hangin’ out.”

J. Cole is obviously talking about Danielle Fishel. J. Cole even said “Boy Meets World” before he said “Topanga.”

Why would J. Cole diss Danielle Fishel? Why would he diss her on his “Villuminati” song? Why not any other song? Is J. Cole sending out a subliminal message to Danielle Fishel because she knows what the Illuminati is?

PROBABLY.

But too bad:

BUT TOO BAD J. COLE CAN’T BANG TOPANGA BECAUSE HER HUSBAND “TIM BELUSKO” IS ALREADY BANGING HER.

Drake also has lyrics about Boy Meets World, so he is in the Illuminati, too.

(Speaking of which, Illuminati conspiracy theorists seem to have some major problems with successful black people.)

Another show seemingly fraught with Illuminati conspiracy is Pretty Little Liars. Here‘s an excellent video where someone blames the PLL cast for killing Paul Walker because one of them once said he was her celebrity crush during an interview and the show featured a car accident a full season before he died. Bone chilling!

Sarcasm aside, guys. There is no Illuminati conspiracy. Not on Boy Meets World or anywhere else. Just trust me on this one, okay? Just trust me.