Some Foolish Man Showed up to a Blind Date With Jenny Slate Wearing a 'Full Authentic Knight's Costume'

By Hannah Gold  |  July 20, 2017 | 12:14am
CelebritiesDirt Bag

I can’t seem to muster a pang of pathos for the man who thought he could out-joust Jenny Slate in a catered battle of wits (known to some as the “first date”).

Slate said during an interview with the Talk Easy podcast earlier this week that a recent, misguided suitor showed up to a blind date with the powerhouse comedian and actress dressed as a knight in shining armor. Get it?

“He comes around the corner inside the restaurant,” recounted Slate, “this dude, and I’m not kidding, is dressed in full chain mail. He’s got a full authentic knight’s costume on, including a floor-length tabard which I called a tunic and then he corrected me and was like, ‘It’s actually a tabard.’” Yes, folks, we live in a world where some dude who’s encased his body inside a welded pun can mansplain “tabard” to a female genius.

The guy proceeded to make bad jokes about how they should go on a more normal date next time “like a Renaissance fair” and made a lot of clanging noises in his effort to taste some of Slate’s pasta.

“For me,” said Slate, “I am a comedian, so I was like, ‘That’s not a funny joke.’”

[The Cut]

Radar Online published court papers on Wednesday dating back to 2012, which show that Usher paid a little over million dollars to a former sex partner after exposing her to herpes, which she later contracted. According to the document, Usher covered a portion of her medical bills, but that was after he convinced her an initial STD examination result was negative and that it was alright to keep having unprotected sex (which, according to the papers, they did).

“Believing Raymond’s statements that it had been nothing and cleared up, [she] continued her relationship,” wrote the plaintiff’s lawyer in a legal complaint seeking damages.

[Radar Online]

Ever wonder what Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo are up to? Celebrating their three-year wedding anniversary in blinding white environs, that’s what. Their mouths are all gummed up with peppermint Chiclets, you just can’t see it.

[Us Weekly]