The Stagecoach Music Festival, which is not quite as cool as Jazz Fest and not quite as irritating as Coachella, was the scene of a frenzied confrontation yesterday when some random woman approached Ashton Kutcher (cowboy-hat edition), prompting festival security to go into full-on overreaction mode.

According to TMZ, Kutcher was cooling his spurs in the VIP section near the Nick 13 and Dwight Yoakam acts. All of a sudden, a strange woman came towards him with extended hand. Gasp! Kutcher handled himself with Hollywood aplomb, turning to greet the advancing stranger, but festival security quickly intervened, turning a minor VIP-area incursion into an Incident. Kutcher apparently took issue with the way security was handling the Incident, words were exchanged, and he was either unceremoniously booted from the festival after a brief melee or he politely excused himself. It's sort of a choose-your-own-adventure story in which Ashton Kutcher can either be a reasonable human or one of those guys who insists on telling everyone else how, exactly, they should be doing their jobs. [TMZ]

  • All is not well in the land of EastwoodClint and Dina have hit some serious marital turbulence, and Dina is reportedly suffering from severe anxiety and depression. Could the union that has lasted since 1996 and survived the debacle that was Space Cowboys finally dissolve? Or will Clint Eastwood use his gravelly voice to excellent dramatic effect to show Dina that even if he is a broken, grumpy old misanthrope, he loves her, dammit? (Hint: the second one, totally the second one.) [TMZ]
  • Tay-$wizzz just bought a $17-million mansion in cash. An entire luggage set of beautiful, freshly laundered cash. [TMZ]
  • Speaking of cash-money, Zach Braff raised $2 million of it on Kickstarter in his ongoing effort to fund a sequel to the pinnacle of manic-pixie dream-girl decadence, Garden State. [AP]
  • Jeffrey Wright, actor and sometime motorist, was pulled over in the lower East Side on suspicion of drunk driving, which is sort of like getting in trouble for raising your hand to ask your grade-school teacher if you can stand up and fart for the class (driving in Manhattan is a totally avoidable bad decision). [NYDN]
  • How does Michael Caine keep his wit so razor-sharp? By eating turmeric everyday, of course (and by doing lines of cumin in public waterclosets). [Daily Mail]
  • Conan O'Brien, America's twilight joke-monkey, made a bunch of jokes at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Atlantic Wire]
  • Lindsay Lohan is upset that Tom Brokaw said that she ruined last years White House Correspondents' Dinner. So, she's sworn a blood oath to turn the tables and tell everyone that, nuh-uh, Tom Brokaw is the ruiner. Lindsay Lohan is awesomepants @yolo_cubed. [TMZ]
  • Has Jermaine Jackson really fallen $30,000 behind on his child support payments? TMZ isn't sure, but what we do know is that this question holds the key to the mysteries of the universe. [TMZ]
  • Clinton Brown, father of Chris Brown, thinks that Chris Brown + Rihanna = bad times. [NYDN]
  • Opening statements begin Monday in the $40-billion civil trial pitting Michael Jackson's family against the organizers of a star-crossed comeback tour. [Reuters]
  • Dame Helen Mirren is probably going to win big at London's Olivier theater awards tonight, just a heads-up. [AP]

Image via Getty, Karl Walter